Retirement--Stateside and elsewhere

[rousseau]

Maybe I'm way too logical about it, but this seems like one of those things that's not as complicated as it's made out to be. Just need to analyze and understand your situation:

• How much money do I have
• How do I want to spend my retirement
• What sacrifices am I willing to make
• What risks am I willing to take

And if you're someone who's in their twenties or early thirties.. now is the time to start planning.

Although, given my current situation things are looking pretty good for me, one thing a friend of mine said to me a few years ago really changed my perspective. She said something along the lines of that it's not a human right to be able to retire. Before that point I had never thought of it that way. I had always thought retirement was just something I needed and should do, and that it was imperative that I accomplish a good retirement. It's not that I don't want that, but it made me realize that a part of my desire was simply for social acceptance and conformity, and that there's no reason I can't just continue working as long as I'm able.

Your friend must be young and is certainly incorrect. The truth is that we all slow down a certain point in our lives. That point may vary a great deal, depending on health, for starters. Also family circumstances. Many people my age, for instance, find that their time is required to are for aging parents, grandchildren, a spouse whose health is not good, for starters. Often a combination of these. When I was still a teenager, my mother suffered a traumatic brain injury and was hospitalized for months, tecouperatong/rehabbing for months after that. I was the oldest kid still at home with younger siblings. I got a good preview of what is now called the sandwich generation, when in addition to your own life, you have children and an aging parent requiring your time and energy. So I had school, running the household, caring for younger siblings (who were also traumatized by circumstances) plus helping my mother rehab when she was home plus stuff with my dad, grandparents whose health was failing. I was an extremely energetic and capable teenager with all that teenage energy and it nearly broke me. Doing that in my 50-60's--even with better financial circumstances and much better care options: I have deep sympathy and admiration for anyone in such circumstances.

Your friend is frankly a clueless idiot who does not realize that more opportunities open for younger folk when older ones retire.

Human right may not be the right term. It was just more along the lines of a wealthy, golden years retirement is not something that's owed or a given for everyone. Maybe it is for you, I'm just making the point that when I realized there was nothing wrong with not being entirely wealthy when I retire, it took a lot of the pressure off.

A few years ago my parents lifestyle is how I set my standards for my life. When I dropped that the pressure receded a lot.

 

[southernhybrid]

Let me first say thanks Toni for the kind words. I do have a very stressful job even though only two days a week. I am a very strong advocate for my patients, in some cases, the only advocate they have. I am constantly having to argue for them. It is sometimes overwhelming at my age and with my chronic pain. I never ever in my life thought it would be difficult to give up my role as a nurse, but I have discovered that as I've aged, I've become very attached to being a nurse, and consider my role as advocate very important.On the other hand, I don't think I will miss my work when I finally stop working. Maybe it's all about the money.

I'm sure I could do some volunteer work if we move to Indy. I once volunteered in an elementary school, helping teach the children that were having problems reading. Perhaps I could do that again. Once I leave nursing, I don't want to look back. I love where I live now but I need family. I never missed family that much when I was younger, but things change with age. But there are some things that help. I want to buy a home that has no steps, is very close to stores, doctors and my son. That way, if I just need a little bit of help, it will be easy for my son to help me. My mother is still alive and almost 92. She was always very sharp and independent, but now she is in the early stages of dementia and lives in NJ with my sister. I am pleased that we've been able to keep her out of a nursing home. I just hope my sister will be able to cope if my mother becomes very confused, incontinent, and/or immobile.

While I also say that I'm not ever going to live in a long term care facility, I know that I may be in denial. Almost nobody wants to go to a long term care facility, but I have patients that are suddenly plucked from their homes because they have dementia or simply can't care for themselves any longer. I'm hoping I won't obsess over this once I retire and aren't constantly reminded of what can quickly happen in old age.

So, back to you Toni. I don't think you should feel guilty about retiring. I imagine if you didn't work, you'd have more time to do things for your husband. You'd probably be happier and more supportive of him, I had originally planned to work until the age of 69, expecting that my husband would work until he was 66. He couldn't find a job when he lost his, likely due to ageism. He had a few interviews but the only offer he got was less than half of his previous pay with the expectation of working at least 50 hours a week. I told him not to do that but take SS early. He substitute teaches now and then but it really doesn't help pay the bills. The good part is that he's learned to cook and now makes all of our meals and he helps a little bit more than usual with the cleaning. While my commute is nothing like yours is, I do drive 25 miles each way and I started hating to drive about two years ago. So, there's that.

When we were younger, I doubt we had a clue as to how difficult these decisions would be to make.

You asked about the parrots. I've had one since she was three months old and the other was a rescue when he was about two. They are a lot of work and they might live for another few decades so I want to rehome them before it gets too hard to care for them. We were foolish for getting parrots and I feel guilty about having to find a new home for them, but at the same time, I can't imagine moving with them. We've done that twice, once long distance. It was difficult. The one parrot rescue organization that is still taking birds hasn't returned my calls and seems to have lost my papers. The place is about 80 miles from me, so it's not like I can run over there every week and nag them to take my birds. I've even promised to give them at least a thousand dollars. There are just so many parrots that need new homes and few people want them.

 

[Toni]

Your friend must be young and is certainly incorrect. The truth is that we all slow down a certain point in our lives. That point may vary a great deal, depending on health, for starters. Also family circumstances. Many people my age, for instance, find that their time is required to are for aging parents, grandchildren, a spouse whose health is not good, for starters. Often a combination of these. When I was still a teenager, my mother suffered a traumatic brain injury and was hospitalized for months, tecouperatong/rehabbing for months after that. I was the oldest kid still at home with younger siblings. I got a good preview of what is now called the sandwich generation, when in addition to your own life, you have children and an aging parent requiring your time and energy. So I had school, running the household, caring for younger siblings (who were also traumatized by circumstances) plus helping my mother rehab when she was home plus stuff with my dad, grandparents whose health was failing. I was an extremely energetic and capable teenager with all that teenage energy and it nearly broke me. Doing that in my 50-60's--even with better financial circumstances and much better care options: I have deep sympathy and admiration for anyone in such circumstances.

Your friend is frankly a clueless idiot who does not realize that more opportunities open for younger folk when older ones retire.

Human right may not be the right term. It was just more along the lines of a wealthy, golden years retirement is not something that's owed or a given for everyone. Maybe it is for you, I'm just making the point that when I realized there was nothing wrong with not being entirely wealthy when I retire, it took a lot of the pressure off.

A few years ago my parents lifestyle is how I set my standards for my life. When I dropped that the pressure receded a lot.

I don't think of a 'golden retirement' as a given or something that is 'owed' me or anyone else. I do think that my husband and I have worked hard (even when I wasn't being paid for the work I did), have lived pretty frugally and hope for security in our retirement--we should not have to worry about paying ordinary bills more than we do now, we will hopefully be ok re: healthcare and hopefully, re: health.

In the US, basic Social Security was established in order to supplement retirement for folks, and was designed specifically and especially to help out people who had never earned a lot of money and so had little opportunity to save sufficiently for retirement.

I hope for/aspire to be able to use some of the additional time not working doing some traveling that has long been deferred. You know: like the trip you've planned to Orlando? I went when I was a kid but we never took our children. We never took them on any fancy vacation at all. It was always just to visit grandparents, which was lovely but limited. It would be nice to be able to visit Montreal or Vancouver (BC or Washington--or both!). I'd also like to visit France, Italy, Great Britain. New Zealand. Cape Cod. New York City! Those top my list which includes a lot more places I'd love to visit. I'd like to do it before I'm too old to travel well. I expect that we will be able to do some of that, but almost certainly not all of that. And that's ok.

When one is just finishing school and/or starting a career, it is a mistake to look at the lifestyle your parents (assuming upper middle class) have will be what you will shortly achieve. It almost certainly will not be. Such assumptions almost always lead to deep unhappiness, dissatisfaction and resentment, usually on the part of the younger generation but I've seen it in the older one, especially when it is the OLDER generation's expectation that now that the kid has graduated, they can immediately purchase a well appointed home in the very best neighborhood, have a fabulous career and start a family while taking lavish vacations, all of which took the older folks years and perhaps a well timed inheritance to achieve.

Your life is your life. Live it how you choose. Expect nothing that you don't work for and even then, don't count on things not changing because they usually do.

 

[gmbteach]

I just checked my super balance and it's ok. It should, upon retirement, a decent income. I can claim this in about 4 years, if I choose. Though the longer I work, the more it's going to be worth. There is also a Transition to Retirement Option I can take, where I consciously lessen my work load And my super will cater for that. This is what I am going to look in to as work is becoming less of something I want to do.

This super fund has been contributed to by myself and my employer and is where it is because I have been there for 20+ years.

 

[Toni]

I just checked my super balance and it's ok. It should, upon retirement, a decent income. I can claim this in about 4 years, if I choose. Though the longer I work, the more it's going to be worth. There is also a Transition to Retirement Option I can take, where I consciously lessen my work load And my super will cater for that. This is what I am going to look in to as work is becoming less of something I want to do.

This super fund has been contributed to by myself and my employer and is where it is because I have been there for 20+ years.

Is your super balance something like our 401K's? An account holding stocks and bonds to which an employee contributes and often the employer contributes a percentage of the employee balance? Or is it more like our social security?

Is that transition to retirement option available to you because you are a teacher or is it available to all workers?

 

[gmbteach]

I just checked my super balance and it's ok. It should, upon retirement, a decent income. I can claim this in about 4 years, if I choose. Though the longer I work, the more it's going to be worth. There is also a Transition to Retirement Option I can take, where I consciously lessen my work load And my super will cater for that. This is what I am going to look in to as work is becoming less of something I want to do.

This super fund has been contributed to by myself and my employer and is where it is because I have been there for 20+ years.

Is your super balance something like our 401K's? An account holding stocks and bonds to which an employee contributes and often the employer contributes a percentage of the employee balance? Or is it more like our social security?

Is that transition to retirement option available to you because you are a teacher or is it available to all workers?

Hi Toni,

more like your 401Ks I guess. EQ! My employer, and I both contribute. With the TTR, I think it's so,etching for my Super plan, not sure about other plans.

Gaynor

 

[bilby]

https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/superannuation-and-retirement/how-super-works

Everything you could possibly want to know about Superannuation in Australia, from the horse's mouth - the Australian Securities and Investments Commission. ASIC is the branch of the Australian Federal Government responsible for the regulation of corporations, markets and financial services.

 

[fromderinside]

Or we can be jealous of each other. We both have tenure and promotion status retirement plans one of which includes SS. We retired with about 60% of working income annually. With loss of copay for retirement, travel costs, and a substantial tax reduction we wound up with a 15% annual income above needed and most optional costs.

One thing to not do is to compare your expenses against what you pay while working. You'll never retire.

Also retirement is a good time to consider life style changes especially if you primary asset, home, has appreciated significantly.

We moved from where the actions was to where the comforts are, remodeled, took several trips to europe, then began to settle into community based retirement lifestyles where we participate in charity, government, and social activities like environment, gardening, arts and crafts, memoirs, etc.

Not bad living on a lake with ocean beyond the berm except when a major fire is lurking five miles east of us.

 

[Toni]

Or we can be jealous of each other. We both have tenure and promotion status retirement plans one of which includes SS. We retired with about 60% of working income annually. With loss of copay for retirement, travel costs, and a substantial tax reduction we wound up with a 15% annual income above needed and most optional costs.

One thing to not do is to compare your expenses against what you pay while working. You'll never retire.

Also retirement is a good time to consider life style changes especially if you primary asset, home, has appreciated significantly.

We moved from where the actions was to where the comforts are, remodeled, took several trips to europe, then began to settle into community based retirement lifestyles where we participate in charity, government, Anderson social activities like environment, gardening, arts and crafts, memoirs, etc.

Not bad living on a lake with ocean beyond the berm except when a major fire is lurking five miles east of us.

See, that sounds perfect. Except for the fire part. Be safe.

 

[southernhybrid]

Thanks to this thread, which really got me thinking, and something that happened at work yesterday that really made me angry, I have told the manager at work that I will be retiring as soon as they can find my replacement. I will include that this offer to stay for a little longer, is only good until the end of the year. I will write a formal letter today and give it to the owners of the facility tomorrow. I have already told some of the residents that I am retiring. One told me that I was her best friend and others told me they would miss me, but they all seemed happy for me. I will soon be a Free Bird.

I also have been in contact with a parrot rescue organization about 70 miles away. My husband and I have an appointment with them on Saturday. They were impressed by how healthy our birds looked after texting them some photos. Did they really think that we weren't going to take good care of two spoiled, needy, adorable birds that we've had for 24 and 26 years? I am saddened about rehoming them, but I feel that it's for the best and it will allow us to get our house ready to sell, so we can move close to the son and grandkids. The thought of finding a house that would be appropriate for two dogs and two birds is an overwhelming one, since I really want to downsize to a much smaller home. My dogs go with us everywhere we travel, so no problem there.

I know that I will hate the Indianapolis winters, but the Center for Inquiry is in the heart of Indy and my granddaughter attends its charter school. My son is an atheist and my daughter in law is simply not religious, with some kooky but rather harmless beliefs. Hopefully, we will all get along when we spend time together. So, I'm excited about the changes that will be coming into my life in the many months ahead. And, if it's too cold in the winter, we can take a month or so and travel to some warmer places. We own a small condo in northern Florida, but it's so congested down there now, that I think I'd like to sell that place too. That will give us some extra savings that we can tap into for winter travel. Then we will only have one place to maintain.

Has anyone else made any decisions about retirement? Have you thought about it anymore Toni? I think you are probably a bit younger than I am, and it's taken me several years to finally come to this decision, so you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. I hate the fact that you have such an awful commute. That would probably do it for me.

 

[gmbteach]

Thanks to this thread, which really got me thinking, and something that happened at work yesterday that really made me angry, I have told the manager at work that I will be retiring as soon as they can find my replacement. I will include that this offer to stay for a little longer, is only good until the end of the year. I will write a formal letter today and give it to the owners of the facility tomorrow. I have already told some of the residents that I am retiring. One told me that I was her best friend and others told me they would miss me, but they all seemed happy for me. I will soon be a Free Bird.

I also have been in contact with a parrot rescue organization about 70 miles away. My husband and I have an appointment with them on Saturday. They were impressed by how healthy our birds looked after texting them some photos. Did they really think that we weren't going to take good care of two spoiled, needy, adorable birds that we've had for 24 and 26 years? I am saddened about rehoming them, but I feel that it's for the best and it will allow us to get our house ready to sell, so we can move close to the son and grandkids. The thought of finding a house that would be appropriate for two dogs and two birds is an overwhelming one, since I really want to downsize to a much smaller home. My dogs go with us everywhere we travel, so no problem there.

I know that I will hate the Indianapolis winters, but the Center for Inquiry is in the heart of Indy and my granddaughter attends its charter school. My son is an atheist and my daughter in law is simply not religious, with some kooky but rather harmless beliefs. Hopefully, we will all get along when we spend time together. So, I'm excited about the changes that will be coming into my life in the many months ahead. And, if it's too cold in the winter, we can take a month or so and travel to some warmer places. We own a small condo in northern Florida, but it's so congested down there now, that I think I'd like to sell that place too. That will give us some extra savings that we can tap into for winter travel. Then we will only have one place to maintain.

Has anyone else made any decisions about retirement? Have you thought about it anymore Toni? I think you are probably a bit younger than I am, and it's taken me several years to finally come to this decision, so you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. I hate the fact that you have such an awful commute. That would probably do it for me.

Well done on making the decision and it sounds like it will go smoothly.

 

[Toni]

Thanks to this thread, which really got me thinking, and something that happened at work yesterday that really made me angry, I have told the manager at work that I will be retiring as soon as they can find my replacement. I will include that this offer to stay for a little longer, is only good until the end of the year. I will write a formal letter today and give it to the owners of the facility tomorrow. I have already told some of the residents that I am retiring. One told me that I was her best friend and others told me they would miss me, but they all seemed happy for me. I will soon be a Free Bird.

I also have been in contact with a parrot rescue organization about 70 miles away. My husband and I have an appointment with them on Saturday. They were impressed by how healthy our birds looked after texting them some photos. Did they really think that we weren't going to take good care of two spoiled, needy, adorable birds that we've had for 24 and 26 years? I am saddened about rehoming them, but I feel that it's for the best and it will allow us to get our house ready to sell, so we can move close to the son and grandkids. The thought of finding a house that would be appropriate for two dogs and two birds is an overwhelming one, since I really want to downsize to a much smaller home. My dogs go with us everywhere we travel, so no problem there.

I know that I will hate the Indianapolis winters, but the Center for Inquiry is in the heart of Indy and my granddaughter attends its charter school. My son is an atheist and my daughter in law is simply not religious, with some kooky but rather harmless beliefs. Hopefully, we will all get along when we spend time together. So, I'm excited about the changes that will be coming into my life in the many months ahead. And, if it's too cold in the winter, we can take a month or so and travel to some warmer places. We own a small condo in northern Florida, but it's so congested down there now, that I think I'd like to sell that place too. That will give us some extra savings that we can tap into for winter travel. Then we will only have one place to maintain.

Has anyone else made any decisions about retirement? Have you thought about it anymore Toni? I think you are probably a bit younger than I am, and it's taken me several years to finally come to this decision, so you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. I hate the fact that you have such an awful commute. That would probably do it for me.

Wow! I am impressed that you made the move and am flattered (and a bit nonplussed) to have had a role in prodding the decision. You deserve the break.

I am several years away from SS sanctioned retirement (as is my husband) but hubby and I could live on his income alone, albeit with a few less frills and bells and whistles. His retirement account is large enough that if we really had to both retire, we could do it, although in more reduced circumstances than we anticipate now. The truth is that I am one of those worst case scenario kinds of persons: I always worry about what if the worst comes to pass? What if he dies early? What if one of us needs long term care? What if both of us do? Frankly, he'd be in good enough shape if I died early; it would be harder for me if he died earlier than retirement because his income is higher. The retirement fund would go to me in the event of his death, so that's not a concern in and of itself. It's more the loss of a spouse than the loss of income.

Mostly, I feel guilty about retiring earlier than he does.

Best wishes to you! You seem to have really put plans into action very efficiently. I'm impressed!

May you have many happy years in Indiana!

 

[Elixir]

Has anyone else made any decisions about retirement? Have you thought about it anymore Toni? I think you are probably a bit younger than I am, and it's taken me several years to finally come to this decision, so you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. I hate the fact that you have such an awful commute. That would probably do it for me.

I've made sort of a decision... the people who have given us a letter of intent to buy the business have offered me the option to take a contract for three years after their purchase, or to bow out sooner as I might prefer. I have elected to give them one year - I think that I can bring one or two people up to speed to cover my many bases within that time. Now it's a matter of waiting to see if they accept our revisions to their LOI. Either way, it's a bit of a relief to draw such a line, even if this deal should collapse (there are several other prospective buyers waiting in the wings and starting to make a lot of noise about it...). This thread has been thought provoking, and to the extent that it influenced my decision to make a decision, I thank everyone!

 

[southernhybrid]

Has anyone else made any decisions about retirement? Have you thought about it anymore Toni? I think you are probably a bit younger than I am, and it's taken me several years to finally come to this decision, so you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do. I hate the fact that you have such an awful commute. That would probably do it for me.

I've made sort of a decision... the people who have given us a letter of intent to buy the business have offered me the option to take a contract for three years after their purchase, or to bow out sooner as I might prefer. I have elected to give them one year - I think that I can bring one or two people up to speed to cover my many bases within that time. Now it's a matter of waiting to see if they accept our revisions to their LOI. Either way, it's a bit of a relief to draw such a line, even if this deal should collapse (there are several other prospective buyers waiting in the wings and starting to make a lot of noise about it...). This thread has been thought provoking, and to the extent that it influenced my decision to make a decision, I thank everyone!

Good for you! I never knew this would be such a difficult decision until I had to make it.

I gave my letter to the manager yesterday. All day long, people were asking me if I was going to change my mind. I kept saying "no". The best or funniest part of this is that the woman who owns the facility where I do my work is somewhat of a bitch. She has never complimented me in 18 years, although she has told other people that she doesn't know what she would do without me. Yesterday, she was freaking out. She wants me to write the add for my replacement, which I don't mind doing. She was terrified that I was just going to leave in the next few weeks, but I reassured her I would stay for a few more months if necessary. I'm loving that. Most of my patients have been supportive, even though some are upset and worried about who will replace me. I hope they find someone very well qualified, but I have to admit it's nice to know that I'm appreciated.

I worry about money too, Toni, but we have no debt and probably enough liquid assets to live on SS and a few very small pensions. At this point in my life, I'm not interested in material things, just the freedom that comes with retirement. I don't care about travel, although I may need a month or two away in the winter to escape the cold. I think we can afford that. I'm hoping to find some good volunteer opportunities when we finally get relocated. Indy has tons of volunteer opportunities, so I doubt I will ever be bored.

 

[Elixir]

I've made sort of a decision... the people who have given us a letter of intent to buy the business have offered me the option to take a contract for three years after their purchase, or to bow out sooner as I might prefer. I have elected to give them one year - I think that I can bring one or two people up to speed to cover my many bases within that time. Now it's a matter of waiting to see if they accept our revisions to their LOI. Either way, it's a bit of a relief to draw such a line, even if this deal should collapse (there are several other prospective buyers waiting in the wings and starting to make a lot of noise about it...). This thread has been thought provoking, and to the extent that it influenced my decision to make a decision, I thank everyone!

Good for you! I never knew this would be such a difficult decision until I had to make it.

Ain't THAT the truth!

I gave my letter to the manager yesterday. All day long, people were asking me if I was going to change my mind. I kept saying "no". The best or funniest part of this is that the woman who owns the facility where I do my work is somewhat of a bitch. She has never complimented me in 18 years, although she has told other people that she doesn't know what she would do without me. Yesterday, she was freaking out. She wants me to write the add for my replacement, which I don't mind doing. She was terrified that I was just going to leave in the next few weeks, but I reassured her I would stay for a few more months if necessary. I'm loving that. Most of my patients have been supportive, even though some are upset and worried about who will replace me. I hope they find someone very well qualified, but I have to admit it's nice to know that I'm appreciated.

Sort of a shocker, right? That moment when a previously aloof person who has long depended on you but never expressed any appreciation, suddenly become obsequious when they find out you're leaving... sad, but delicious!

 

[TV and credit cards]

Don't let doubt creep in. You know what needs to be done. I've found it best to go through these big moves with a rote like procedure. This keeps the doubt at bay. You will recognize a point of no return, probably when you accept an offer on your home, excuse me, house. You're taking home with you.
When I retired from the navy, after 23 years, not being in uniform is a big change. I was supposed to stay in San Diego but a job fell through and the wonderful person who offered the position couldn't bring himself to tell me, which meant about six weeks of job hunting time got wasted. So it was back to Ohio. I was going to stay at my brother's place while I got settled but my mom had more room so... there I am, from chief in the navy in San Diego to unemployed forty-something sleeping in a twin bed at my mom's in Ohio.
Did that really happen?

I see so many more people back out of retirement than follow through. But with them it's always about money. Never enough money. One more year of saving money. Never about their time. Oh, their most precious time. Silly silly insecure people.

 

[Toni]

Speaking for myself only: I know how much long term care costs and the difficult decisions families face. I also feel guilty that we cannot afford to both retire early. So for me , its fear and guilt.

 

[southernhybrid]

I certainly understand the fear part and a little bit of the guilt, only because so many of my patients depend on my advocacy, but I can't save all the powerless people in the world so I'm quite sure I can go through with this. I have no guilt when it comes to my husband because he owes me for the four times I made major relocations for his job changes. He gets that and is supporting me in my decision. I know that leaving Georgia, despite my fondness for the area, will be best for both of us.