Songs about women not getting enough orgasms

[rousseau]

I think I may have finally solved the puzzle, although I'm not really sure. I ran into a half-Korean half-white bisexual man who lives in Korea. He mentioned that he didn't like having sex with Western men because they think of their own pleasure first and their partner's pleasure not at all, or only as an afterthought. He speculated that if I wasn't doing the typical Western male thing, that heterosexual women might interpret that as "sensuality."

I'm honestly not sure if he's right, but his observation about Western men is probably relevant to this discussion. It's possible that Western men lack sufficient consideration of their partners for some bizarre cultural reason.

Some posts, and segments of posts, stay with me for years.

Years ago a young man posted here because his girlfriend was very demanding, and no matter how long he pounded her she was never satisfied and kept demanding more, in tears. At the time I wondered if she was begging him to "make love" to her and he had no awareness that what he was doing could not be described that way.

I think this might be supporting evidence for your theory.

I wouldn't put it passed a lot of men that porn ends up being the primary way they learn about sex, in which case many of them are going to be severely misguided.

Add to that a Western culture where men don't talk to each other about it, and there's going to be a lot of confusion.

 

[rousseau]

nm

 

[Toni]

I think I may have finally solved the puzzle, although I'm not really sure. I ran into a half-Korean half-white bisexual man who lives in Korea. He mentioned that he didn't like having sex with Western men because they think of their own pleasure first and their partner's pleasure not at all, or only as an afterthought. He speculated that if I wasn't doing the typical Western male thing, that heterosexual women might interpret that as "sensuality."

I'm honestly not sure if he's right, but his observation about Western men is probably relevant to this discussion. It's possible that Western men lack sufficient consideration of their partners for some bizarre cultural reason.

Some posts, and segments of posts, stay with me for years. I

Years ago a young man posted here because his girlfriend was very demanding, and no matter how long he pounded her she was never satisfied and kept demanding more, in tears. At the time I wondered if she was begging him to "make love" to her and he had no awareness that what he was doing could not be described that way.

I think this might be supporting evidence for your theory.

A good lover loves, appreciates and attends their partner's body, and their partner's entire being. Too many look at sex as just pushing a set of buttons, without noticing or responding to response--or lack of.

 

[rousseau]

Speak for yourself, white man.

It's been inexplicably starting to happen to us. I'm dumb-founded every time.

 

[prideandfall]

I wouldn't put it passed a lot of men that porn ends up being the primary way they learn about sex, in which case many of them are going to be severely misguided.

going to have to disagree with you on that, at least about the bit where 'porn' is used broadly.
i guess if *bad* porn is your only sexual role model that could be the case... but in that context i think that fucking is a lot like fighting: anyone who watches it on a TV and then tries to apply what they watched to real life is going to learn in a real big hurry that it doesn't translate, and if they don't figure that out then from an evolutionary stand point they should be ejected from the gene pool.

Add to that a Western culture where men don't talk to each other about it, and there's going to be a lot of confusion.

do they not talk to each other? because i've always talked to my male friends about stuff like that my whole life and never would have thought that men don't talk about it.
i just figured it's like so many other things in life: your skill at it is directly proportionate to your interest in being skilled at it, with a modifier based on innate physical tendencies.

then again i have sexual proclivities our language doesn't even have words for, so ultimately so what the hell do i know?

 

[Bronzeage]

Some posts, and segments of posts, stay with me for years. I

Years ago a young man posted here because his girlfriend was very demanding, and no matter how long he pounded her she was never satisfied and kept demanding more, in tears. At the time I wondered if she was begging him to "make love" to her and he had no awareness that what he was doing could not be described that way.

I think this might be supporting evidence for your theory.

A good lover loves, appreciates and attends their partner's body, and their partner's entire being. Too many look at sex as just pushing a set of buttons, without noticing or responding to response--or lack of.

We live is a strange time. In less than a generation, we have come to a point where anyone of any age can view explicit sexual imagery, and all they need is a desire to see it. Sexual exploration was once a very slow process and all of society's power was concentrated on making it as slow as possible. From chaperones to bundling, everything possible was done to prevent unsanctioned sexual contact. Modern industrial society has made those conventions quite impossible, but the spirit remained.

In earlier days, the learning process was not only slower, but required personal interaction. I had my first close up view of a vagina before I ever saw a color photo of one. Neither of us had any real idea what we were doing, but we figured it out. It helped that we also had no expectations. Whatever happened, it was good.

I've done a lot of editing for young authors, both male and female. The effect of educational porn is apparent when they try to write erotic scenes. It's entirely visual, as if the narrative is a storyboard of camera shots.

 

[rousseau]

going to have to disagree with you on that, at least about the bit where 'porn' is used broadly.
i guess if *bad* porn is your only sexual role model that could be the case... but in that context i think that fucking is a lot like fighting: anyone who watches it on a TV and then tries to apply what they watched to real life is going to learn in a real big hurry that it doesn't translate, and if they don't figure that out then from an evolutionary stand point they should be ejected from the gene pool.

Add to that a Western culture where men don't talk to each other about it, and there's going to be a lot of confusion.

do they not talk to each other? because i've always talked to my male friends about stuff like that my whole life and never would have thought that men don't talk about it.
i just figured it's like so many other things in life: your skill at it is directly proportionate to your interest in being skilled at it, with a modifier based on innate physical tendencies.

then again i have sexual proclivities our language doesn't even have words for, so ultimately so what the hell do i know?

It could just be that a lot of men are too stupid to do it right, but smart enough to get laid.

That's probably the simplest explanation.

 

[DrZoidberg]

On the topic of feminist hip hop. Peaches', Dick in the Air is genius. It makes the point without spelling it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh_57nQFSEg

Doesn't hurt that it's a brilliant song.

 

[Toni]

A good lover loves, appreciates and attends their partner's body, and their partner's entire being. Too many look at sex as just pushing a set of buttons, without noticing or responding to response--or lack of.

We live is a strange time. In less than a generation, we have come to a point where anyone of any age can view explicit sexual imagery, and all they need is a desire to see it. Sexual exploration was once a very slow process and all of society's power was concentrated on making it as slow as possible. From chaperones to bundling, everything possible was done to prevent unsanctioned sexual contact. Modern industrial society has made those conventions quite impossible, but the spirit remained.

In earlier days, the learning process was not only slower, but required personal interaction. I had my first close up view of a vagina before I ever saw a color photo of one. Neither of us had any real idea what we were doing, but we figured it out. It helped that we also had no expectations. Whatever happened, it was good.

I've done a lot of editing for young authors, both male and female. The effect of educational porn is apparent when they try to write erotic scenes. It's entirely visual, as if the narrative is a storyboard of camera shots.

I hadn't considered the porn thing, although I am certain that Canberra a factor. I was thinking more about how it is possible to simply operate on rote: he/she seemed into it or at least not object so I guess l'll just go with that ( rather than, I dunno: pay attention???).



It's awfully easy to go through life on auto pilot. Actually, make that: it's awful to go through life on auto pilot.

 

[bilby]

I can see how a song about women might be a turn-on; But frankly I would be surprised if mere songs about women got any orgasms at all.

 

[DrZoidberg]

We live is a strange time. In less than a generation, we have come to a point where anyone of any age can view explicit sexual imagery, and all they need is a desire to see it. Sexual exploration was once a very slow process and all of society's power was concentrated on making it as slow as possible. From chaperones to bundling, everything possible was done to prevent unsanctioned sexual contact. Modern industrial society has made those conventions quite impossible, but the spirit remained.

In earlier days, the learning process was not only slower, but required personal interaction. I had my first close up view of a vagina before I ever saw a color photo of one. Neither of us had any real idea what we were doing, but we figured it out. It helped that we also had no expectations. Whatever happened, it was good.

I've done a lot of editing for young authors, both male and female. The effect of educational porn is apparent when they try to write erotic scenes. It's entirely visual, as if the narrative is a storyboard of camera shots.

I hadn't considered the porn thing, although I am certain that Canberra a factor. I was thinking more about how it is possible to simply operate on rote: he/she seemed into it or at least not object so I guess l'll just go with that ( rather than, I dunno: pay attention???).



It's awfully easy to go through life on auto pilot. Actually, make that: it's awful to go through life on auto pilot.

I think porn is great. It gives so many people confidence their first time around. Which means earlier debutes, more sex all around. More sex means becoming better lovers. Sex is a practical skill. A skill we need to learn before we get married and get kids. The no sex until marriage I think is the worst ideal ever conceived.

A lot of people complain about how porn is objectifying, brutal and degrading. What Internet pornography has taught us is that women look at just as much brutal and degrading porn as men do. Actually more. Women love being objectified when they're fucking.

Which means we can now stop seeing degrading porn as catering to men, the patriarchy and blah blah blah.

Why do women like this? Who knows? But it's just a fact.

Nah, watching porn when by ourselves allows us to be more honest with ourselves and explore exactly what pushes our horny buttons.

I also think it leads to deeper more meaningful personal interactions. Because we're so much better at knowing what we like, we're better at communicating it. Communication is the key to personal interactions.

 

[bigfield]

I can see how a song about women might be a turn-on; But frankly I would be surprised if mere songs about women got any orgasms at all.

It's quite common for songs to reach a climax.

 

[TSwizzle]

I hadn't considered the porn thing, although I am certain that Canberra a factor. I was thinking more about how it is possible to simply operate on rote: he/she seemed into it or at least not object so I guess l'll just go with that ( rather than, I dunno: pay attention???).



It's awfully easy to go through life on auto pilot. Actually, make that: it's awful to go through life on auto pilot.

I think porn is great. It gives so many people confidence their first time around. Which means earlier debutes, more sex all around. More sex means becoming better lovers. Sex is a practical skill. A skill we need to learn before we get married and get kids. The no sex until marriage I think is the worst ideal ever conceived.

A lot of people complain about how porn is objectifying, brutal and degrading. What Internet pornography has taught us is that women look at just as much brutal and degrading porn as men do. Actually more. Women love being objectified when they're fucking.

Which means we can now stop seeing degrading porn as catering to men, the patriarchy and blah blah blah.

Why do women like this? Who knows? But it's just a fact.

Nah, watching porn when by ourselves allows us to be more honest with ourselves and explore exactly what pushes our horny buttons.

I also think it leads to deeper more meaningful personal interactions. Because we're so much better at knowing what we like, we're better at communicating it. Communication is the key to personal interactions.

Things must be quite different in Sweden.

 

[braces_for_impact]

No, it's not a joke. I'm not talking what men should do, I'm talking how evolution has designed both men and women's bodies. By the nature of how we're built, it's going to be harder for women than men. Evolution doesn't care about how we feel, it cares about women 'leading' the men to the end, so to speak. If it were the reverse babies wouldn't get made.

I agree with your analysis, though.

There's a problem with your theory. It assumes that both men and women have sex until they cum, and then stop. Well... women rarely need to stop after cuming. All an orgasm does for a woman is make her like you more. There's an evolutionary advantage to be liked by the woman you're fucking. Especially since women are sneaky, and don't advertise their fertile periods.

If we're talking basic design. The human penis is shaped to create a vacuum and suck out cum from the guy who was there before. Also, only about a third of our cum can fertilise the embryo. The other 2/3's is designed to hunt down and kill other men's sperm in different ways. We're designed to cum after we've pumped enough to allow any prior cum to get sucked out. That's why we don't cum immediately upon entry. We're designed for gang-bangs. But does that mean that any sex with a woman that isn't a gang bang is doing it wrong?

Of course it doesn't. It's great to have optimal equipment for gang bangs, if that's the kind of sex we're having. If we're not having that kind of sex, having the gang-bang equipment doesn't hurt.

And since no animal is capable of having sex that isn't natural to it's species, it means that it's natural for humans to not only have gang-bangs. Since most people clearly aren't.

Gang bang equipment on a man who never has gang-bangs is just genetic drift. Useless evolutionary designs are only dropped if keeping them around has a cost.

That just took all the sexy right out of it. Thanks.

 

[braces_for_impact]

I think I may have finally solved the puzzle, although I'm not really sure. I ran into a half-Korean half-white bisexual man who lives in Korea. He mentioned that he didn't like having sex with Western men because they think of their own pleasure first and their partner's pleasure not at all, or only as an afterthought. He speculated that if I wasn't doing the typical Western male thing, that heterosexual women might interpret that as "sensuality."

I'm honestly not sure if he's right, but his observation about Western men is probably relevant to this discussion. It's possible that Western men lack sufficient consideration of their partners for some bizarre cultural reason.

Some posts, and segments of posts, stay with me for years.

Years ago a young man posted here because his girlfriend was very demanding, and no matter how long he pounded her she was never satisfied and kept demanding more, in tears. At the time I wondered if she was begging him to "make love" to her and he had no awareness that what he was doing could not be described that way.

I think this might be supporting evidence for your theory.

From my experience, this is very common. Unfortunately, most men get their idea of how sex is from porn, and frankly, that's not good for the most part. Women can do this too, but it seems more common in men. Hence the "jackrabbit" style so common according to many women.

 

[DrZoidberg]

I think porn is great. It gives so many people confidence their first time around. Which means earlier debutes, more sex all around. More sex means becoming better lovers. Sex is a practical skill. A skill we need to learn before we get married and get kids. The no sex until marriage I think is the worst ideal ever conceived.

A lot of people complain about how porn is objectifying, brutal and degrading. What Internet pornography has taught us is that women look at just as much brutal and degrading porn as men do. Actually more. Women love being objectified when they're fucking.

Which means we can now stop seeing degrading porn as catering to men, the patriarchy and blah blah blah.

Why do women like this? Who knows? But it's just a fact.

Nah, watching porn when by ourselves allows us to be more honest with ourselves and explore exactly what pushes our horny buttons.

I also think it leads to deeper more meaningful personal interactions. Because we're so much better at knowing what we like, we're better at communicating it. Communication is the key to personal interactions.

Things must be quite different in Sweden.

Don't think it is. But we don't really know. The data from research in this field is unreliable. In meta-studies we've found that straight men have 16% more sex than straight females. Which just can't be true. The numbers should match. if people report great sex or high numbers on how often they have sex seems to more likely indicate if it's high status to report such activity.

But we do have great numbers on what type of porn people watch because we can just aggregate google searches. Extremely reliable numbers. And extremely detailed on exactly what turns people on and what fetishes they have. After the Internet revolution porn production and distribution became cheaper than ever. So "feminist" porn companies started popping up. Well... extremely brutal and twisted shit has come out of those companies.

 

[TSwizzle]

Things must be quite different in Sweden.

Don't think it is. But we don't really know. The data from research in this field is unreliable. In meta-studies we've found that straight men have 16% more sex than straight females. Which just can't be true. The numbers should match. if people report great sex or high numbers on how often they have sex seems to more likely indicate if it's high status to report such activity.

But we do have great numbers on what type of porn people watch because we can just aggregate google searches. Extremely reliable numbers. And extremely detailed on exactly what turns people on and what fetishes they have. After the Internet revolution porn production and distribution became cheaper than ever. So "feminist" porn companies started popping up. Well... extremely brutal and twisted shit has come out of those companies.

Not knowing about something has never stopped you from just making shit up of course. Carry on.

 

[DrZoidberg]

Don't think it is. But we don't really know. The data from research in this field is unreliable. In meta-studies we've found that straight men have 16% more sex than straight females. Which just can't be true. The numbers should match. if people report great sex or high numbers on how often they have sex seems to more likely indicate if it's high status to report such activity.

But we do have great numbers on what type of porn people watch because we can just aggregate google searches. Extremely reliable numbers. And extremely detailed on exactly what turns people on and what fetishes they have. After the Internet revolution porn production and distribution became cheaper than ever. So "feminist" porn companies started popping up. Well... extremely brutal and twisted shit has come out of those companies.

Not knowing about something has never stopped you from just making shit up of course. Carry on.

Says the man who still clings to the delusion that Daily Mail somehow isn't a tabloid.

 

[TSwizzle]

Not knowing about something has never stopped you from just making shit up of course. Carry on.

Says the man who still clings to the delusion that Daily Mail somehow isn't a tabloid.

There you go again, making stuff up (about me).

 

[Toni]

I hadn't considered the porn thing, although I am certain that Canberra a factor. I was thinking more about how it is possible to simply operate on rote: he/she seemed into it or at least not object so I guess l'll just go with that ( rather than, I dunno: pay attention???).



It's awfully easy to go through life on auto pilot. Actually, make that: it's awful to go through life on auto pilot.

I think porn is great.

Good for you.

It gives so many people confidence their first time around.

I haven't met a single woman yet who felt that porn gave her more confidence at any point in her sex life, much less for a first time.

Which means earlier debutes,

This is not necessarily a good thing. There is nothing wrong with waiting until physical maturity and hopefully, some degree of emotional and social maturity as well.

more sex all around.

Doesn't follow.

More sex means becoming better lovers.

Really does not follow.

Sex is a practical skill.

To an extent.

A skill we need to learn before we get married and get kids.

I'm actually quite agnostic about whether it is important or not to have sex before marriage. I've known a number of people who waited and who have quite happy and fulfilling sex lives. I realize that waiting until marriage--or marriage--doesn't suit everyone, but there's no reason to snicker at people who wait.

The no sex until marriage I think is the worst ideal ever conceived.

Hardly. For example, the idea that sex with virgins will cure AIDS is far worse.

A lot of people complain about how porn is objectifying, brutal and degrading.

Quite a lot of it is objectifying, brutal and degrading.

What Internet pornography has taught us is that women look at just as much brutal and degrading porn as men do.

You are simply making stuff up now.

Actually more. Women love being objectified when they're fucking.

You truly do not know what you are talking about. However, if women you fuck are telling you to just shut up and get on with it, it may or may not have a positive correlation with your skills as a lover.

Which means we can now stop seeing degrading porn as catering to men, the patriarchy and blah blah blah.

Somehow, I don't think you ever troubled yourself with considering for even one second if a particular bit of porn was degrading to women or catered to men.

Why do women like this? Who knows? But it's just a fact.

Uh, no. It's not. What I am sure will surprise you should you ever actually consider this possibility--or actually have a genuine conversation with a real, live woman or truly, many women is that women are individuals and diverse in their likes, dislikes, tastes, preferences, etc. with regards to sex as much as they are with regards to clothing styles, food, jobs, etc.

Nah, watching porn when by ourselves allows us to be more honest with ourselves and explore exactly what pushes our horny buttons.

The second half is partially true. The first half? Not.

I also think it leads to deeper more meaningful personal interactions.

You may have found this to be true for yourself but mileage will vary.

Because we're so much better at knowing what we like, we're better at communicating it. Communication is the key to personal interactions.

Self knowledge is necessary but insufficient.