Stop being stupid. It's not that difficult.

[Bronzeage]

On the 4th of July, dock workers on the Ohio River, near Henderson, Ky, found a human leg floating by. That was the extent of the story.

Three days later, a fairly lame satire and parody site, Empire News, created a story which said seventeen more dismembered bodies and quoted an investigator as saying,

“This could be the most prolific, active serial killer in the United States.” Said Captain Owen St. Pierre of the Henderson police department. “Two of the bodies identified so far have been determined to have extensive criminal records; we are considering the possibility that these murders could be inspired by the television series Dexter.

That wasn't quite enough.

Several attempts were made to resuscitate at least one of the dismembered bodies, with no avail.

“Kentucky law requires that an attempt be made to resuscitate if possible,” said Joseph Goldsmith, a member of the search and rescue team. “I know it seemed to be a long-shot, given the body was in several different pieces, but they require us to make an attempt.”

Even the image of a paramedic doing CPR on an headless, armless human trunk, was not enough to deter the internet. Within a few hours, the Empire News page was on dozens of facebook pages in the area, and quickly showed up on the page of everyone who had a Kentucky news alert ap on their phone.

In a few hours, Snopes was on the job, debunking the story.

I'm a skeptical person. I spent my early working life among a crew of older men who enjoyed spinning tales like this one, and worse. As they got older, a few of them began to believe their own stories. It's still no excuse.

 

[Jayjay]

So did they catch the killer?

 

[Bronzeage]

So did they catch the killer?

They aren't really sure anyone is dead.

A few years ago, in a small town across the river, someone found a pair of feet and lower legs at the town dump. The sheriff was called and he realized the feet were mixed in with trash from the local funeral home. He paid them a visit and found a tall man in a short coffin. Why the mortician didn't tuck the feet in the coffin with the man is a mystery. They weren't sure what charges to file. It seemed wrong to bury a man without his feet. Louisiana does have a "desecration of a dead body" law, so that was final decision. The funeral director plead guilty and forfeited his licence.

 

[TV and credit cards]

So did they catch the killer?

They aren't really sure anyone is dead.

A few years ago, in a small town across the river, someone found a pair of feet and lower legs at the town dump. The sheriff was called and he realized the feet were mixed in with trash from the local funeral home. He paid them a visit and found a tall man in a short coffin. Why the mortician didn't tuck the feet in the coffin with the man is a mystery. They weren't sure what charges to file. It seemed wrong to bury a man without his feet. Louisiana does have a "desecration of a dead body" law, so that was final decision. The funeral director plead guilty and forfeited his licence.

Family got cheap after the funeral home said they charge by the foot.

 

[bilby]

So did they catch the killer?

Given that about 99.2% of corpses are not victims of violence, it is a long shot to ascribe the finding of a corpse to the existence of a killer. Given that it is also possible for people to lose a leg and survive, it is an even longer shot to ascribe the finding of a severed leg to the existence of a killer.

Perhaps the leg is the former property of a careless chainsaw operator.

 

[dendrast]

So did they catch the killer?

They aren't really sure anyone is dead.

A few years ago, in a small town across the river, someone found a pair of feet and lower legs at the town dump. The sheriff was called and he realized the feet were mixed in with trash from the local funeral home. He paid them a visit and found a tall man in a short coffin. Why the mortician didn't tuck the feet in the coffin with the man is a mystery. They weren't sure what charges to file. It seemed wrong to bury a man without his feet. Louisiana does have a "desecration of a dead body" law, so that was final decision. The funeral director plead guilty and forfeited his licence.

Legally, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

 

[Shadowy Man]

So did they catch the killer?

They aren't really sure anyone is dead.

Until you can prove that they can't be resuscitated, you can't prove they're dead.

 

[EricK]

I have heard it said (but can't vouch for the truth of it) that if somebody is hit by a train in the UK, they can't start to clear away the body until the person has been certified as dead by a qualified professional - even if the person has been decapitated.

 

[TV and credit cards]

I have heard it said (but can't vouch for the truth of it) that if somebody is hit by a train in the UK, they can't start to clear away the body until the person has been certified as dead by a qualified professional - even if the person has been decapitated.

Meanwhile another train comes by... Oh, there goes an arm and a leg.
"No, no. We must wait for the proper authorities to certified that the parts therein cannot be reassembled and revived with the Higgs Reanimator."
"The what?"
"The Higgs Reanimator."
"What happened to the machine that goes bing?"
"Oh for God's sake man, that's for taking a baby out of a lady's tummy."

 

[Bronzeage]

I have heard it said (but can't vouch for the truth of it) that if somebody is hit by a train in the UK, they can't start to clear away the body until the person has been certified as dead by a qualified professional - even if the person has been decapitated.

There are rules like that in many places, but they are intended to preserve evidence at a potential crime scene. In my city, a traffic accident with no injuries can be handled by a single policeman. If someone is injured or killed(appears dead to an untrained eye), it will require at least 5 officers and a supervisor to get all the information, before traffic can flow again.

There are many times when a paramedic crew pretends a person is still alive and transports the body, just for expediency. Sometimes they do it out of compassion for the survivors, who insist their friend needs more attention than they do.

 

[Underseer]

Did they find the serial killer yet?

 

[Bronzeage]

Did they find the serial killer yet?

The leading suspects are Tony the Tiger and Cap'n Crunch.

 

[Underseer]

Did they find the serial killer yet?

The leading suspects are Tony the Tiger and Cap'n Crunch.

Not the Trix rabbit? That guy always struck me as shifty and unstable.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

I have heard it said (but can't vouch for the truth of it) that if somebody is hit by a train in the UK, they can't start to clear away the body until the person has been certified as dead by a qualified professional - even if the person has been decapitated.

There are rules like that in many places, but they are intended to preserve evidence at a potential crime scene. In my city, a traffic accident with no injuries can be handled by a single policeman. If someone is injured or killed(appears dead to an untrained eye), it will require at least 5 officers and a supervisor to get all the information, before traffic can flow again.

There are many times when a paramedic crew pretends a person is still alive and transports the body, just for expediency. Sometimes they do it out of compassion for the survivors, who insist their friend needs more attention than they do.

There's also limits on paramedics declaring death. No pulse/no breathing isn't enough, patients have been brought back from that state. I'm not sure if even a doctor could death under field conditions without seeing damage that is obviously incompatible with life.