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The News in a Note

Three weeks after announcing tariffs, Canada's economy is expected to have 26.7% annual growth after Americans surged north of the border to buy products that aren't tariffed.
 
HHS Secretary RFK Jr says sticking a sharp needle into your crying toddler's arm and then injecting a fluid into them is an effective way to prevent Measles.
 
The Onion nails it again:

theonion.com

Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death

WASHINGTON—Warning that even the slightest dent, knick, or scratch would henceforth be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Attorney General Pam Bondi announced Tuesday that Raymond Pratt, a 54-year-old resident of Chula Vista, CA who bumped a Tesla while parallel parking, had been...
theonion.com theonion.com

But perhaps too close to our future to be funny. Bondi is a bitch.
 
Sell off in bond market has Americans rushing online to understand what any of that means.
 
Trump Admin announces contract award to develop new M.C. Escher inspired border crossings.
 
Polls indicate Americans are not pleased with the piece of shit they elected President.
 
Loophole in Executive Order will allow foreign nations to avoid US tariffs by airlifting goods into America and parachuting them to the ground.
 
Trump Officials Downplay Impact of Tariff Ruling - "Importers will gladly volunteer to pay the imports tariffs."
 
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Threats of Hurricane in the Pacific likely to be used for Clickbait on Internet
 
Smuggling Futures Skyrocket: Report Shows
Legal Immigration Channels Shutting Down
 
Trump to announce release of his own Trump Variant Covid-19 virus that he dubs "The biggest and bestest variation of any variant scientists have ever seen."
 
A small number of GOP Senators indicated concern during hearing regarding the whacko they voted to approve as HHS Secretary.
 
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