The brain and its neurons ARE too large for quantum effects to be relevant to their behaviour. I can see that you find this idea amusing; but as you have presented absolutely nothing to suggest why you think it is
incorrect, your mirth seems more than a little misplaced.
Macroscopic systems have behaviour that is, to a very good approximation, classical. Neurons are sufficiently large that classical models of their behaviour give indistinguishable results from quantum models; only by looking at the substructure of neurons do you find any behaviours that are inadequately modeled by classical physics. Thought does not occur at those scales; for example, a synapse requires ~1300+ molecules of Acetylcholine to reach its activation stimulus, so quantum effects influencing individual ACh molecules, while important to an understanding of the way a synapse does what it does, are completely irrelevant to an understanding of the result of it doing those things - a few molecular interactions more or less makes no difference to anything. Quantum effects might seed chaos; but they don't act as a usable part of a decision-making process, and they cannot enable 'free will' - any more than you can influence the weather pattern next week in a controlled or deliberate way by releasing a butterfly. Each individual butterfly might (but likely won't) have an influence on the final outcome; the aggregate of all the butterflies in the world approximates so well to "no effect at all" that they are completely irrelevant. Quantum effects in biological systems are analogous to
'jitter' or 'dither' in mechanical computers - random motions that allow the system to operate more effectively, but don't have any influence on the outputs.
A carbon atom might pass through a barrier by quantum tunneling; but I can assure you that if you throw charcoal briquettes at a brick wall, none of them will go through*. That's because briquettes are too large for quantum effects to be relevant to their behaviour.
I apologize for mocking your religious faith by introducing beastly facts that undermine it; But I can assure you that responding to those facts with laughter, while it might make you feel better, won't actually make the facts go away.