Keith&Co.
Contributor
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2006
- Messages
- 22,444
- Location
- Far Western Mass
- Gender
- Here.
- Basic Beliefs
- I'm here...
So who is watching you while she's gone?
Probably everyone.
You peeked!
So who is watching you while she's gone?
Probably everyone.
So who is watching you while she's gone?
Probably everyone.
Since Mom had a hand in raising the kids, they are probably prepared. She probably alerts the neighbors as well.
I take it your doghouse is heated?
So the question then becomes, was he Navy assigned to the Air Force or Army assigned to the Navy?
(And what use would an Army Captain be on a destroyer?)
[This is] what happened with the guy who was adding a swimming pool. The diggers had cut his line. I knew before I walked in. But he still wanted me to come stare at the blank cable box while we talked. I did because the Fox News cult loves to call in complaints about their rude techs.
I told him it would be a week, 7 to 10 days to get a new line. He said through his teeth he needed an exact day. I gave him my supervisor’s number. This whole time, his wife was in the kitchen wiping a clean counter.
I was filling out the work orders and emailing my supervisor to give him a heads-up on a possible call from a member of every cable tech’s favorite rage cult, when his wife knocked on my van window. She stepped back and called me “ma’am.” Which was nice. Her husband with the tucked-in polo shirt had asked my name and I told him Lauren. He heard Lawrence because it fit what he saw and asked if he could call me Larry. Guys like that use your name as a weapon. “Larry, explain to me why I had to sit around here from 1 to 3 waiting on you and you show up at 3:17. Does that seem like good customer service to you, Larry? And now you’re telling 7 to 10 days? Larry, I’m getting really tired of hearing this shit.” Guys like that, it was safer to just let them think I was a man.
She said she was sorry about him. I said, “It’s fine.” I said there really wasn’t anything I could do. She blinked back the flood of tears she’d been holding since God knows when. She said, “It’s just, when he has Fox, he has Obama to hate. If he doesn’t have that ...” She kept looking over her shoulder. She was terrified of him. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I just need him to have Fox.”
Those are not all the same person?I Was A Cable Guy. I Saw The Worst Of America.
A glimpse of the suburban grotesque, featuring Russian mobsters, Fox News rage addicts, a caged man in a sex dungeon, and Dick Cheney.
I keep a book in the car, something to read at doctor waiting rooms, restaurant lobbies, parked outside of my son's job, waiting to pick him up...
Gave son and a coworker a ride, started talking to friend about books. She declared herself a bibliophile.
As it happened, the book in the car came up. I took it out to show her the author's name. Found that when i put the book away, i folded the cover.
I apologized and tried smooth it out, apologized once more.
She turned to my son. "Is it your book?"
Son didn't look up from his phone. "He is not apologizing to me."
She may reevaluate using the term bibliophile. At least not without a qualifier? She could maybe say, "I am a sane bibliophile," maybe, just to slide a divider between her and, well, some people.
Oh, the book was okay, once I flattened her cover.Okay? So what was the book?