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Turkeypocalypse 2020 - What are your plans?

Angry Floof

Angry Floof

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It's 2020, so obviously everyone's nervous about possible murder turkeys attacking in the thousands or mashed potatoes containing a new type of parasite that turns us into mole people or COVID becomes sentient and starts to really fuck with us and we barely make it to December 31st alive.

I for one will be very thankful if none of that stuff happens. And as we all like to say, we should not live in fear.

So at our house, we're having a very simple traditional Thanksgiving dinner of ham, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and rolls, and just for me since I'm the only one who likes them, I'll be having cranberry sauce with my turkey, a side of green beans, and pumpkin pie.

What's your plan for the turkeypocalypse?
 
This morning, we hatched our plan and sprang into action.
Loaded up ourselves and Parker the golden retriever and braved the backroads to get to the most high end food store in the area.
It's a family-owned store. The owners are cattle and hay ranchers. They slaughter and butcher local beef, they sell locally raised chicken (and of course turkeys at this time of year), and being Italian (a few generations back) they have all the great oils, noodles, cheeses and weird Italian specialty foods. But my plan was for the crab. No messing with giant birds this year! No daunting leftovers, no major kitchen messes, no trying to fit portions of 9 different dishes on one plate, no running out of this or that while so-and-so won't eat any of the ... whatever.
Nope. This year is simplicity itself, and just the two of us: A few giant Alaska King Crab legs, baked (fresh dug, local) potatoes and (still to be obtained*) tomatoes simply sliced.
A little Champaign... done. I'm actually looking forward to it.

*We had a spectacular tomato year in 2020. I was home the whole summer, which helped.
Planted in our little greenhouse in April (it is usually early June) and got through several freezes with the help of a small ceramic heater, losing only a few plants. By late June we were eating vine-ripe tomatoes, and they persisted up until a couple of weeks ago. So we had about a 5 month period to be totally tomato-spoiled.
It's going to be difficult to find any tomatoes now that are worthy of slicing and serving with King Crab, but since it's the only task left and I have two more days, I'm optimistic! :)

ETA: Reconsidering the potatoes in light of the Mole People Parasite! Maybe it only lives in mashers?
 
BTW, Elixir, it's the cranberry sauce, green beans, and pumpkin pie that no one likes but me. EVERYONE loves dinner rolls.
 
Never knew Elixir to be the farmer. Kudos.

Many years ago we made pizza and opened a bottle of wine. This year we will do the same, also candy some walnuts for a salad, make baked apples and butternut squash, and invite a couple members of the family. But it will be a laid back affair, the kind I like. Did I mention the manhattans?

And I'll probably have the TV on mute if the Steelers are doing okay.
 
We bought a small, boneless turkey breast which Mr. Sohy will cook in some new way. The sides will be carrot soufflé and probably asparagus or another green vegetable. We haven't decided on dessert yet, and maybe we will finally drink that solo bottle of wine that's been around for about a year. We never eat bread with our meals unless we're having pasta. It will just be the two of us, but as usual, I will bring a plate to our lonely neighbor. We haven't had to deal with family members at TG for many years, and that's the way we like it. :D
 
For the first time I will not be having my traditional Thanksgiving for One. Last year's boneless turkey breast kind of turned me off so I ate just the sides. I have been beating about preparing the traditional turkey, mashed & sweet potatoes (canned), stuffing (Stove Top), cranberry sauce and making Thanksgiving wet wraps (wet=gravy poured over top). I've always loved how well these traditional favorites mix and thought, hey, wrap it all in a tortilla. Deviled eggs appetizer and pumpkin pie desert.
Maybe next year. Thanksgiving kind of crept up on me.
 
Angry Floof said:
...
What's your plan for the turkeypocalypse?
Click to expand...

It being just me I hadn't thought about it until you asked. Over the past week I've watched 3 different versions of the Pilgrim's story and the one thing they all agree on is that the first Thanksgiving never occurred in any way similar to the version promoted since the Civil War. It's the story of a train wreck. They chose to settle on the site of a former Indian village that even the local tribes would avoid since it was littered with the bones of the last to die from the plague that had come from across the sea and had about run its course. After a treacherous voyage, on which half the passengers were the Separatists, or Saints (aka pilgrims), and the other half the "Strangers", both groups speaking various dialects, they disembarked at the beginning of a brutal winter in which half of them died of exposure. But ... I figure it should be commemorated, if for no other reason than that we presently seem to share in their hopeful yet somewhat desperate outlook for the future. So I looked in my freezer and found a boneless 1.5 pound half turkey breast that has a January '19 date on it. Might as well put it out of its misery. If you don't hear from me too soon you'll know why.
 
I forgot to add the homemade cranberry sauce to my TG dinner. It's the easiest thing to make. Just add a cup of water and a cup of sugar to a bag of cranberries and heat up until the cranberries pop. I eat it every time we have chicken all during the year. We buy about 10 bags of fresh cranberries and freeze them, then take one out whenever we run out of the last batch. After you make it, it will last for at least a month in the refrigerator, but I've usually eaten it all before then.
 
Treedbear said:
Angry Floof said:
...
What's your plan for the turkeypocalypse?
Click to expand...

It being just me I hadn't thought about it until you asked. Over the past week I've watched 3 different versions of the Pilgrim's story and the one thing they all agree on is that the first Thanksgiving never occurred in any way similar to the version promoted since the Civil War. It's the story of a train wreck. They chose to settle on the site of a former Indian village that even the local tribes would avoid since it was littered with the bones of the last to die from the plague that had come from across the sea and had about run its course. After a treacherous voyage, on which half the passengers were the Separatists, or Saints (aka pilgrims), and the other half the "Strangers", both groups speaking various dialects, they disembarked at the beginning of a brutal winter in which half of them died of exposure. But ... I figure it should be commemorated, if for no other reason than that we presently seem to share in their hopeful yet somewhat desperate outlook for the future. So I looked in my freezer and found a boneless 1.5 pound half turkey breast that has a January '19 date on it. Might as well put it out of its misery. If you don't hear from me too soon you'll know why.
Click to expand...

I don't think we actually celebrate that original myth. We just need an excuse to take off from work and pig out on this special day. When we were much younger and my son was a teenager, we never made a traditional meal. It was usually steak, ribs or some other tasty meat grilled to perfection. For years, after moving to Georgia, we were obligated to have dinner with my in-laws, but now that the older ones are all dead, and my brother in law is divorced, so we are free from that unhappy task. The bro in law is likely flying to Vegas with his new young girlfriend, knowing him like I do. So, I will be giving thanks for not having to spend time with any relatives.
 
Treedbear said:
Angry Floof said:
...
What's your plan for the turkeypocalypse?
Click to expand...

It being just me I hadn't thought about it until you asked. Over the past week I've watched 3 different versions of the Pilgrim's story and the one thing they all agree on is that the first Thanksgiving never occurred in any way similar to the version promoted since the Civil War. It's the story of a train wreck. They chose to settle on the site of a former Indian village that even the local tribes would avoid since it was littered with the bones of the last to die from the plague that had come from across the sea and had about run its course. After a treacherous voyage, on which half the passengers were the Separatists, or Saints (aka pilgrims), and the other half the "Strangers", both groups speaking various dialects, they disembarked at the beginning of a brutal winter in which half of them died of exposure. But ... I figure it should be commemorated, if for no other reason than that we presently seem to share in their hopeful yet somewhat desperate outlook for the future. So I looked in my freezer and found a boneless 1.5 pound half turkey breast that has a January '19 date on it. Might as well put it out of its misery. If you don't hear from me too soon you'll know why.
Click to expand...

Also we should all be having unagi and venison, not turkey and mashed potatoes! :D
 
Treedbear said:
Politesse said:
...
Also we should all be having unagi and venison, not turkey and mashed potatoes! :D
Click to expand...

Right now the venison is out in my yard lunching on the shrubbery. But Japanese eel?
Click to expand...

Well, it should really be American eel, haha. But you know what I mean.

Without the Wampanoag there, it would have JUST been berries and clams and so forth; it's said they brought the deer.
 
Politesse said:
Treedbear said:
Politesse said:
...
Also we should all be having unagi and venison, not turkey and mashed potatoes! :D
Click to expand...

Right now the venison is out in my yard lunching on the shrubbery. But Japanese eel?
Click to expand...

Well, it should really be American eel, haha. But you know what I mean.

Without the Wampanoag there, it would have JUST been berries and clams and so forth; it's said they brought the deer.
Click to expand...

Yes, I heard there were actually three times more Indians than settlers and that they brought 6 deer. Also Squanto was there teaching them how to grow corn, beans and squash (the Three Sisters). Thanks to them it was a bountiful harvest. They were also able to catch striped bass. It seems to me there would have been an abundance of fish, oysters and clams as well as lobster too. Somehow they got a tremendous amount done that first year.
 
Treedbear said:
Politesse said:
Well, it should really be American eel, haha. But you know what I mean.

Without the Wampanoag there, it would have JUST been berries and clams and so forth; it's said they brought the deer.
Click to expand...

Yes, I heard there were actually three times more Indians than settlers and that they brought 6 deer. Also Squanto was there teaching them how to grow corn, beans and squash (the Three Sisters). Thanks to them it was a bountiful harvest. They were also able to catch striped bass. It seems to me there would have been an abundance of fish, oysters and clams as well as lobster too. Somehow they got a tremendous amount done that first year.
Click to expand...

That's a slight exaggeration, it was 2-1. But yes, the Wampanoag delegation was larger and seems to have brought more of the food.

As for their relative industry, they knew they had to - the New England winter is long and harsh without modern technology, and they had learned this the hard way during their first wintering. My own Pilgrim ancestors, the Fullers, died aboard the Mayflower in 1620, never even having so much as disembarked. Luckily their son survived to carry on my line, or you would be deprived of my excellent company.
 
Politesse said:
... My own Pilgrim ancestors, the Fullers, died aboard the Mayflower in 1620, never even having so much as disembarked. Luckily their son survived to carry on my line, or you would be deprived of my excellent company.
Click to expand...

I wish I had that kind of connection with my ancestors. It's good to know where you came from. No wonder that you became a cultural anthropologist. As you quote: “The truth about stories is that that's all we are.” You've got a 400 year old bookend.
 
Treedbear said:
Politesse said:
... My own Pilgrim ancestors, the Fullers, died aboard the Mayflower in 1620, never even having so much as disembarked. Luckily their son survived to carry on my line, or you would be deprived of my excellent company.
Click to expand...

I wish I had that kind of connection with my ancestors. It's good to know where you came from. No wonder that you became a cultural anthropologist. As you quote: “The truth about stories is that that's all we are.” You've got a 400 year old bookend.
Click to expand...
Just so! You might have more geneaological connections than you realize, most people do if they start looking into it. Humanity is both a larger and a smaller collective organism than we imagine it to be.
 
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