• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

Was JC circumcised? If so, who did it?

Many theologians used to say that the rings of Saturn were the Holy Prepuce, left there when Jesus ascended to the heavens ...

Attributed to Leo Allatius, a 17th century Vatican scholar. It's known that he did write an essay about the Holy Prepuce, but unfortunately the text seems to be lost or missing (or suppressed by the Church?), so we don't know exactly what he wrote. :saturn:
 
Many theologians used to say that the rings of Saturn were the Holy Prepuce, left there when Jesus ascended to the heavens ...

Attributed to Leo Allatius, a 17th century Vatican scholar. It's known that he did write an essay about the Holy Prepuce, but unfortunately the text seems to be lost or missing (or suppressed by the Church?), so we don't know exactly what he wrote. :saturn:

There was a vast number of "Jesus's dick was so big" in the early church. The Prepucinan Council of the year 567 was convened to deal with this sophomoric blasphemy. Most of the jokes were scratched on walls of monastery latrine walls. It took a lot of effort but after a few decades only a few of the jokes survived as an oral tradition.
 
It is said that the above mentioned holy foreskin had magical powers. It made impotent men potent and turned the fairer sex and made them into nymphomaniacs! :)
 
Truth or rumor: the Pope keeps the Divine Foreskin in a bedside table, to be used as a slingshot and loaded with rosary beads if Satan launches a night-time attack?
 
The Rabbi who bit the tip off accidentally swallowed it, It gave him tremendous super powers and longevity. After some time he moved to Canada and became...


xWawNo6.jpg
 
Jesus was circumcised. Luke 2:21. Originally the circumcision was performed by the head of the household, but by the first century an official was designated and trained for the operation. By the first century it had become the custom to name the child on this event.
 
Well Jesus was lucky unlike Moses who had his circumcision happen quite abruptly, in what probably had to of been the second worst rude awakening ever.
 
Oh, ye gods & little fishes. I thought we were all being snarky and malicious on a tangential topic until I googled holy foreskin and...Holy Shite!! Wikipedia has a Holy Prepuce article detailing the Catholic obsession with JC's foreskin over the centuries...also a not-to-be-missed article on a mystic nun (from 800 yrs. ago if I remember rightly) who claimed to have eaten the savior's foreskin. Her name was Agnes Blannbekin. Don't pass this up. She also had orgasms from her religious meditations. And I thought Franklin Graham was psychotic.

Would this count as a Jesus Blowjob? Maybe she is the original Linda Lovelace?
 
I first read the title as 'Was JT circumcised.... ' (Johnathan Thurston - captain of the Cowboys who are currently playing in the NRL Grand Final) and once I realised my error, I had the thought - who gives a fuck about whether or not JC, or JT for that matter, is circumcised?
 
I've never witnessed a circumcision, but I've heard that the rabbi sucks the blood straight after the incision. :confused:
 
I'm not Jewish, but I think it's rarely a rabbi doing the rite -- it's a mohel. And the sucking part is done in the most conservative Jewish sects -- and has actually been responsible for Jewish infants contracting herpes. Again, isn't the spiritual life wonderful and necessary for a full, well-rounded life?
 
Wow. Imagine what some Jesus foreskin could have gotten you on the Medieval Europe holy artifact market? That would have been worth more than a saint's finger bone and a white angel feather put together.
 
Back
Top Bottom