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Which movie did you watch today and how would you rate it?

Iceman
0/10
This is a chinese martial arts/fantasy movie that I honestly am still racking my brains to remember what (if anything) the plot was
I'll try a plot summary
blah blah ancient emperor bodyguard yadda yadda ancient time travelling god penis whoot whoot exploding super martial arts poo badda bing some random girl, who may be the grl from earlier but I can't care enough to remember badda boom highly fake slow motiony CGI fight scenes that look awful aaaaannnnnnnddddddd CLIFFHANGER DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This movie is slow, the acting is bad, the fights are the generic slow motiony CGI crap popular in chinese movies these days, and the plot is a bloated and tangled mess of bad gags, bad fights and stupid characters

Gremlins 2: The New Batch
6/10
I have much the same opinion for this movie as I did for Gremlins
it is a fun movie, with solid acting, a solid script and some great practical effects
If you liked the first then you should like the second one
 
Sharknado (via Rifftrax event) - Well, you know not to expect much from a movie called Sharknado. In fact, you really don't expect anything at all. Does the viewer walk away satisfied? Not really. Sharknado makes 2012 look like merely a bad movie. Sharknado fails on so many levels, mainly because of the production budget of only what Producers could find in between the cushions of their couches. This stands out by having the screenwriter being an 8 year old (hence the whole shark angle) and the lack of much filming locations. About 1/3 of the film is shot in vehicles you can't see outside of. And other scenes, like on a highway seem more likely that they are in a loading bay to the Post Office.

Worst off is the editing and the use of stock footage in areas not be filmed in. A tragic on coming storm with massive waves at the beach, cut to Ziering and the water at the beach could almost not be any calmer. Then the simply nonsensical sharks can jump and shit stuff.

The science is awful, for an awful science film.

"How is this happening?"
"Hurricanes can lift marine life from the water, it happened in Australia where 100 perch fell on the ground. Why not sharks?"
Umm... we probably could ponder a couple problems with this explanation. Firstly, the weight ratio between a perch and sharks is notable. Next off, most of the sharks we jumping out of the water without the help of a tornado.

'You can't stop a tornado with a bomb.'
'Yes you can, a tornado is caused by cold and hot air, so blowing something up increases the temperature therefore, no tornado.'
Lets ignore the stupidity and focus more on the fact that a tornado with sharks is actually keeping the sharks from attacking people. Additionally, sharks are fish and breath air through water. So the longer a shark is in a tornado, the more likely it'll die from lack of oxygen. If you stop a tornado, then the sharks fall to the ground and can kill people... simply by landing on them.

Rule #1 in film making, if you are going to sodomize science in every hole imaginable for the sake of a lazy script... don't fucking bring up science! At least they didn't explain how it was possible to fly a helicopter in a tornado.

What is incredible is at the end of the film, they manage to beat out the War of the Worlds unlikely happy ending where the dickass son pops out the door in Boston. Sharknado beats that!

So with the Rifftrax, the movie is barely watchable. Without, I'm assuming alcohol or drugs are required as there is nothing decent about the film. It abuses cliches, has horrible editing, the special effects aren't that good, humor so bad that Andrew Dice Clay would groan, the acting (well there is none), the script laughable, the science is unforgivable, and apparently they are making a second one after finding another Producer who had a few couches in his house to go through.

with Rifftrax (3.5 of 4)
without Rifftrax (0 of 4)
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
Sharknado (via Rifftrax event) - Well, you know not to expect much from a movie called Sharknado. In fact, you really don't expect anything at all. Does the viewer walk away satisfied? Not really. Sharknado makes 2012 look like merely a bad movie. Sharknado fails on so many levels, mainly because of the production budget of only what Producers could find in between the cushions of their couches. This stands out by having the screenwriter being an 8 year old (hence the whole shark angle) and the lack of much filming locations. About 1/3 of the film is shot in vehicles you can't see outside of. And other scenes, like on a highway seem more likely that they are in a loading bay to the Post Office.

Worst off is the editing and the use of stock footage in areas not be filmed in. A tragic on coming storm with massive waves at the beach, cut to Ziering and the water at the beach could almost not be any calmer. Then the simply nonsensical sharks can jump and shit stuff.

The science is awful, for an awful science film.

"How is this happening?"
"Hurricanes can lift marine life from the water, it happened in Australia where 100 perch fell on the ground. Why not sharks?"
Umm... we probably could ponder a couple problems with this explanation. Firstly, the weight ratio between a perch and sharks is notable. Next off, most of the sharks we jumping out of the water without the help of a tornado.

'You can't stop a tornado with a bomb.'
'Yes you can, a tornado is caused by cold and hot air, so blowing something up increases the temperature therefore, no tornado.'
Lets ignore the stupidity and focus more on the fact that a tornado with sharks is actually keeping the sharks from attacking people. Additionally, sharks are fish and breath air through water. So the longer a shark is in a tornado, the more likely it'll die from lack of oxygen. If you stop a tornado, then the sharks fall to the ground and can kill people... simply by landing on them.

Rule #1 in film making, if you are going to sodomize science in every hole imaginable for the sake of a lazy script... don't fucking bring up science! At least they didn't explain how it was possible to fly a helicopter in a tornado.

What is incredible is at the end of the film, they manage to beat out the War of the Worlds unlikely happy ending where the dickass son pops out the door in Boston. Sharknado beats that!

So with the Rifftrax, the movie is barely watchable. Without, I'm assuming alcohol or drugs are required as there is nothing decent about the film. It abuses cliches, has horrible editing, the special effects aren't that good, humor so bad that Andrew Dice Clay would groan, the acting (well there is none), the script laughable, the science is unforgivable, and apparently they are making a second one after finding another Producer who had a few couches in his house to go through.

with Rifftrax (3.5 of 4)
without Rifftrax (0 of 4)
Click to expand...

The second one (titled Sharknado 2: The Second One) aired last summer, Rifftrax is riffing it live this July.

A third one (Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!) will be airing this July as well.
 
KeepTalking said:
The second one (titled Sharknado 2: The Second One) aired last summer, Rifftrax is riffing it live this July.
Click to expand...
Are they? Oh god no! I love Rifftrax, but I don't know if I could handle another Sharknado movie.

There was a good line (well many of them), but Mike Nelson noted, while they were in a hanger and just survived a sharknado, which apparently didn't drop any sharks, that 'at this point a plane full of snakes crashes into the hanger building'.

They showed a preview to Sharknado 2 before they started the program. I thought it was a joke. *sigh*

A third one (Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!) will be airing this July as well.
Click to expand...
More Tara Reid and sharks? Jebus! I need to contact my Sat provider and demand they drop SyFy. I hate the idea that I'm helping subsidize that garbage. A terrible movie being given a trilogy?!
 
Ford said:
The East

Starring Brit Marling (Another Earth), Ellen Page, and Alexander Skarsgard. Marling plays an agent of of a private corporate security outfit who infiltrates an anarchist/environmental terrorist group. She starts out dutifully reporting back to her bosses, but eventually starts to sympathize with her marks.

I really wanted to like it, because Marling is just captivating on screen, but it just fell flat. It was supposed to be a thriller but was rarely thrilling.

4/10
Click to expand...

Yeah, Sound of My Voice is another of her movies like that. It seems like they're going to be good, then blah. I suspect I Origins is probably the same. I do respect her choice in material, she's trying for something thoughtful, but needs better execution.
 
Layer Cake. 8/10: A strong cast including Daniel Craig as middleman drug dealer in London trying to retire. A multi layered plot line with all manner of dodgy geezers, twists and turns at a fast pace, punctuated with bouts of violence. I really quite enjoyed this movie. It got me reaching for the single malt whisky due to the copious amounts of whisky being consumed on screen. Cheers !
 
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Divergent
6/10
I must admit that this movie surprised me
The plot of this movie hits all the cliches without taking any real risks or giving anything new
Most of the side characters are interchangeable and unremarkable
The villains plot is kinda stupid
The dialogue often wanders through a giant field of corn
And the action is all....ok
But despite all of the above....I sorta liked it
It has a solid cast and the main characters give solid performances all around
And the whole thing is paced and put together well enough that the flaws can be endured without ever becomming too distracting or annoying
So while it isn't a great movie
It was a pleasant enough way to pass some time
 
The Racket (1951 version)

7.5/10

A very solid film noir, a remake of a silent film that in turn was based on a stage play. An old-school cop (Robert Mitchum) of the upright, uphold-the-law type faces off with an old school gangster (Robert Ryan) of the "bump off anyone who gets in your way" type. Meanwhile, both must deal with the more subtle and sophisticated methods of the national crime syndicate that is moving into the city. It's a little uneven, but the script has some surprisingly sophisticated elements and the cast is quite good. Besides Mitchum and Ryan, both almost always worth watching, you have Liz Scott, William Talman, Don Porter, Virginia Huston and especially William Conrad.
 
Age of Ultron.

9/10. Maybe a tad less fun than the first, only let (slightly?) down by the final fight. Thor actually comes across as worthy. Romance is in the air for two unlikely characters. It's probably not a spoiler to say we see most characters dead. ;)
And we probably need to watch Agents of SHIELD to see if there are new developments.
 
The Colourful Jester said:
Age of Ultron.

9/10. Maybe a tad less fun than the first, only let (slightly?) down by the final fight. Thor actually comes across as worthy. Romance is in the air for two unlikely characters. It's probably not a spoiler to say we see most characters dead. ;)
And we probably need to watch Agents of SHIELD to see if there are new developments.
Click to expand...

Wait, wut?! You've seen it already? So jealous...
 
The Colourful Jester said:
Yeah, it's out in Australia. Wish I could bring myself to get a download of it. As it is, probably a six month wait for the Blu Ray.
Click to expand...

In what universe does it make sense that American movie productions of American comics featuring American superheroes get released in Australia first?

Now all the Aussies get to spoil the movie for us underprivileged Americans. I had no idea anyone was going to die in Age of Ultron!
 
Suicide Kings 7/10

A kidnapping plot goes horribly wrong when a group of upperclass college boys abduct a former mobster to pay off the ransom for one of their siblings. It gets a 7 because Christopher Walken is the man.

Lawless 9/10

I just love this movie and the soundtrack. It's about a trio of brother running moonshine in Virginia county during Prohibition. I love Tom Hardy in this.
 
Avengers: Age of Ultron - 8.5 - very enjoyable, great FX, dialogue in places slightly wobbly, in other places amusing. Highly recommended if you're into action or superhero movies.
 
The Colourful Jester said:
Age of Ultron.

9/10. Maybe a tad less fun than the first, only let (slightly?) down by the final fight. Thor actually comes across as worthy. Romance is in the air for two unlikely characters. It's probably not a spoiler to say we see most characters dead. ;)
And we probably need to watch Agents of SHIELD to see if there are new developments.
Click to expand...

Can one of them please be Colbie Smulders?
 
The Three Amigos

Chemistry is a funny thing.

While watching this classic movie today, it struck me that I wasn't a fan of Martin Short, Steve Martin, or Chevy Chase on their own. Each one has their own quirks and shortcomings that usually overpower their strengths.

Together, though, they were brilliant in this movie. They were, as the old cliche' goes, greater than the sum of their parts.
 
The Sheik

A documentary about the life and career of The Iron Sheik, notorious "heel" from the world of professional wrestling. The schtick was that he was from Iran - which made him the perfect bad guy during the Reagan years - but it wasn't schtick. He really was from Iran. He served as a bodyguard for the Shah. He was actually a Greco-Roman wrestler - and after moving to the US was an assistant coach for the USA Olympic team in 1972.

The first act of the film chronicles his early life and rise to fame in the WWF. The second act follows his fall from fame into drug addiction and obscurity, and the final act is his redemption and new-found fame as a social media sensation. I actually stopped watching near the end of the second act because it got pretty dark. Watching this once fearsome figure hobble along barely able to walk while out scouting for crack was pretty sad. When I picked it up again, it sort of skimmed over how exactly he got clean, but he did, and turned his life around.

7/10
 
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