Words you do NOT want in your obituary

[Keith&Co.]

Channel surfing, came across a guy doing standup who asks, "You ever read the obituaries and think, "Oh, God, I hope those words are not in MY obituary."

His list: "Decapitated..."
"Dental records..."
"Traces of semen..."
"Ripley's Believe it or Not..."

Sounds perfectly maudlin.

The very first thing i thought of, something I'd hate to have in the account of my death or the discovery of my remains, was "...unidentified predators..."

Y'all?

 

[thebeave]

Autoerotic asphyxiation.

RIP David Carradine

 

[Hickdive]

"To everyone's great relief..."

 

[Thomas II]

"apparently alive..."

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

"beyond all recognition"

"just one click away from deleting all the porn"

"Congress will convene"

 

[ZiprHead]

"Neighbors reported a foul odor."

 

[James Brown]

Witnesses were horrified to see...

 

[spikepipsqueak]

30%

 

[DrZoidberg]

Channel surfing, came across a guy doing standup who asks, "You ever read the obituaries and think, "Oh, God, I hope those words are not in MY obituary."

His list: "Decapitated..."
"Dental records..."
"Traces of semen..."
"Ripley's Believe it or Not..."

Sounds perfectly maudlin.

The very first thing i thought of, something I'd hate to have in the account of my death or the discovery of my remains, was "...unidentified predators..."

Y'all?

Something about death. Don't want it. I want it to say on my obituary that I'm alive and will live forever. No to death!

 

[Keith&Co.]

Something about death. Don't want it. I want it to say on my obituary that I'm alive and will live forever. No to death!

Ah. Johnny Carson once asked Woody Allen, "What do you hope people are saying about you a hundred years from now?"
He replied, "My he looks good for his age."

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

"mangled"

"so much blood"

 

[jonatha]

"Unnoticed for several years"

 

[braces_for_impact]

It's about time.

 

[Elixir]

"...state of decomposition..."


What a fun thread!
(NOT!)

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

"Internal organs were missing."

"Hey y'all, watch this!"

 

[Cheerful Charlie]

Freak accident
Pitbull
Cold case

 

[dendrast]

"Pokeman player".
Coupled (or not) with any of, "Open manhole", "beer truck", "electrocution", "mugging gone wrong", "gang related", "immolation", "liquefaction", "scraped up", "mopped up", "hosed away". That's enough. I feel queasy.

 

[funinspace]

he was also a Necrophiliac...

 

[Iznomneak]

"He was a Christian..."

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

I have planted evidence so that when I die, people will suspect it is a hoax.