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Who Should Pay Child Support? (Split from Roe v Wade is on deck)

As far as I am aware, no one has suggested that the father of a child was solely responsible for financially supporting any child that he fathered. At least in the US, this is not how child support works.
 
As far as I am aware, no one has suggested that the father of a child was solely responsible for financially supporting any child that he fathered. At least in the US, this is not how child support works.
Exactly!

If two competent adults get together for a romp, and conceive another human being, they've created a situation where they have obligation. Big obligations. Burdens and duties to the new fetal human being that they created.

Biology dictates who is the sole possible provider of a gestation period. It's the mother. The father cannot do that. So I'm fine, morally, with requiring the father to provide the bare minimum of his parental burdens and duties, child support.

It would be great if we, as a society, could just stop people from having irresponsible sex. I think we could do better on that score, but that's a different subject.

Call me a prude. But I don't consider sex to be an entitlement. It's not something that just happens. It the real Choice. After having made that choice, the outcome isn't really, entirely, in your control anymore.

You can't unChoose the past.
Tom
 
It would be more accurate in the sense that its omission of pertinent facts makes it rhetorically more consistent with your morally depraved position that a voluntary sperm donor should have no obligation to support an unwanted child.
I've never said that. Because I don't think that.

What I do think is that competent adults who choose potentially fertile sex, and make a baby, now both have a responsibility.
Both of them, not only the father.
Tom
That is a long way from

The question is, "Why does her decision to grow a fetus into a child obligate the man to pay child support?" Why is he obligated to more than the cost of an abortion? He has no say in the decision.
So far, the best justification amounts to "If you can't take the heat then stay out of the kitchen." But it only applies to men. I see that as hypocritical gender discrimination.
 
It would be more accurate in the sense that its omission of pertinent facts makes it rhetorically more consistent with your morally depraved position that a voluntary sperm donor should have no obligation to support an unwanted child.
I've never said that. Because I don't think that.

What I do think is that competent adults who choose potentially fertile sex, and make a baby, now both have a responsibility.
Both of them, not only the father.
Tom
That is a long way from

The question is, "Why does her decision to grow a fetus into a child obligate the man to pay child support?" Why is he obligated to more than the cost of an abortion? He has no say in the decision.
So far, the best justification amounts to "If you can't take the heat then stay out of the kitchen." But it only applies to men. I see that as hypocritical gender discrimination.
No it isn't.

Choose sex that results in a new human being, a fetal child, whatever term you want to use, and you've chosen a huge burden and responsibility.

But you did choose it.

What I've been pointing out is the gender disparity. Women can legally unChoose the results of their Choice. Men cannot legally do that.

I don't think that either gender parent should do that.
Tom
 
It would be more accurate in the sense that its omission of pertinent facts makes it rhetorically more consistent with your morally depraved position that a voluntary sperm donor should have no obligation to support an unwanted child.
I've never said that. Because I don't think that.

What I do think is that competent adults who choose potentially fertile sex, and make a baby, now both have a responsibility.
Both of them, not only the father.
Tom
That is a long way from

The question is, "Why does her decision to grow a fetus into a child obligate the man to pay child support?" Why is he obligated to more than the cost of an abortion? He has no say in the decision.
So far, the best justification amounts to "If you can't take the heat then stay out of the kitchen." But it only applies to men. I see that as hypocritical gender discrimination.
No it isn't.
It certainly indicates that the man should have to support that child. That is what those words mean, regardless of your intent.
Choose sex that results in a new human being, a fetal child, whatever term you want to use, and you've chosen a huge burden and responsibility.

But you did choose it.

What I've been pointing out is the gender disparity. Women can legally unChoose the results of their Choice. Men cannot legally do that.

I don't think that either gender parent should do that.
Tom
The gender disparity mirrors the biological disparity: biological women can bear children, biological men cannot. Which means a pregnancy is a possible danger to a woman's health but not to the father Why do you think the legal system should disregard that?
 
It certainly indicates that the man should have to support that child. That is what those words mean, regardless of your intent.
If you'd read the rest of my post you wouldn't have a problem understanding my intent.

You quoted it, then ignored it.
"Choose sex that results in a new human being, a fetal child, whatever term you want to use, and you've chosen a huge burden and responsibility." are you incapable of understanding?
Tom
 
No it isn't.

Choose sex that results in a new human being, a fetal child, whatever term you want to use, and you've chosen a huge burden and responsibility.
Choosing to have the baby is choosing the huge burden and responsibility. Having sex is not choosing to have a baby.... unless a couple is having sex to intentionally try to make with a pregnancy.
But you did choose it.
Fell into it. Someone is playing Blackjack, they aren't "choosing" to bust.
What I've been pointing out is the gender disparity. Women can legally unChoose the results of their Choice. Men cannot legally do that.
That isn't disparity... that is biology. You keep acting like you understand biology but are tripping up on this part. If a guy could get pregnant, history indicates women would never have ever been considered in the decision to abort.
 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
 
It certainly indicates that the man should have to support that child. That is what those words mean, regardless of your intent.
If you'd read the rest of my post you wouldn't have a problem understanding my intent.
I am not the one making contradictory statements.
You quoted it, then ignored it.
"Choose sex that results in a new human being, a fetal child, whatever term you want to use, and you've chosen a huge burden and responsibility." are you incapable of understanding?
Apparently you are incapable of grasping that when the above follows
"
The question is, "Why does her decision to grow a fetus into a child obligate the man to pay child support?" Why is he obligated to more than the cost of an abortion? He has no say in the decision.
So far, the best justification amounts to "If you can't take the heat then stay out of the kitchen." But it only applies to men. I see that as hypocritical gender discrimination" it is consistent with men not paying child support.




 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
I know that there are men like that.
Zillions of them.
I consider them quite despicable.
Tom
 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
I know that there are men like that.
Zillions of them.
I consider them quite despicable.
Tom
And yet—your posts
 
Choose sex that results in a new human being, a fetal child, whatever term you want to use, and you've chosen a huge burden and responsibility.

But you did choose it.

What I've been pointing out is the gender disparity. Women can legally unChoose the results of their Choice. Men cannot legally do that.

I don't think that either gender parent should do that.
Tom

The only possible connection these repeated statements have to the question of “who should pay child support” is

“Not men, because of a woman’s right to abortion.”

I can only see, from every post you have made here, that you are trying to convey that as long as ANY woman can opt out of undesired body/organ donation, then ALL men can opt out of supporting the children they father.

Including the children (indeed, exclusively the children) that are born as a result of a women choosing to NOT opt out.


It’s an incredibly misogynistic and pointedly anti-children viewpoint that appears to boil down to, “I don’ give a fuck about children except as punishment against women.”
 
I can only see, from every post you have made here, that you are trying to convey that as long as ANY woman can opt out of undesired body/organ donation, then ALL men can opt out of supporting the children they father.
That is not at all what I mean. And I've said so, more than once.

People, regardless of gender, who choose potentially fertile sex are choosing the risk of a big responsibility. Nobody has to choose having the sex. Even the minimum requirements of a child are quite large. But they're also pretty clear. Since the woman must provide the gestation, I'm fine with requiring the man to provide financial support.

I don't see organ donation as a particularly relevant metaphor. Unless you caused the organ failure you've no responsibility for fixing anything. More relevant is an automobile accident. If you cause an accident you owe whoever you hit with your car. The difference there is that nobody expects you to personally get the victim to the hospital, set their bones, repair their car... Other people are far better qualified to do those things. All the motorist is expected to do is pay. But they are expected to do that. No matter how inconvenient or burdensome.
You made the choice when you put the car in drive.
You can't unChoose it.
Tom
 
I can only see, from every post you have made here, that you are trying to convey that as long as ANY woman can opt out of undesired body/organ donation, then ALL men can opt out of supporting the children they father.
That is not at all what I mean. And I've said so, more than once.
But your posts keep conveying it when you bring up the issue of abortion as having a single thing whatsover to do with child support.

The CHILD has no say in the gestational permission, the support is for THE CHILD and it is, in my personal opinion a gutless and immoral position to take anything the woman has done as a reason to punish the CHILD with lack of support.
People, regardless of gender, who choose potentially fertile sex are choosing the risk of a big responsibility. Nobody has to choose having the sex. Even the minimum requirements of a child are quite large. But they're also pretty clear. Since the woman must provide the gestation, I'm fine with requiring the man to provide financial support.
Here’s where you convey, again, that you don’t give a shit about the child, you’re just trying to get even with the woman.
I don't see organ donation as a particularly relevant metaphor. Unless you caused the organ failure you've no responsibility for fixing anything.
And here’s why it is relevant; even if you DID cause the organ failure, it is still a violation of your rights to be forced to donate an organ, even if your body is dead!

Only people who want to punish women for having sex wish to create a violation of that right.
More relevant is an automobile accident. If you cause an accident you owe whoever you hit with your car.
You owe them EVERYRTTHING, right? Even your organs?
No. No you do not. They have no right to your organs, even if you hit them with your car.
The difference there is that nobody expects you to personally get the victim to the hospital, set their bones, repair their car... Other people are far better qualified to do those things. All the motorist is expected to do is pay. But they are expected to do that. No matter how inconvenient or burdensome.
Not when it is a no-fault accident.
You made the choice when you put the car in drive.
You can't unChoose it.
Tom
And here’s where you AGAIN convey that you don’t give a shit about the child who is the one who gets support, you only care about punishing the woman for having sex, because she’s the only one you harp on about in a thread about child support. The woman and her right to terminate a pregnancy. You think the child should live in poverty because the woman chose to not have an abortion, which you think lets the man off the hook, even though you don’t approve of abortions.

The man does not get to have a say in whether his birth control fails. He does not get to have a say in whether his sperm are sufficiently motile. He does not get to have a say in whether the woman’s luteal phase is long enough to sustain implantation. He does not get to have a say in whether a miscarriage occurs. (Well, he could beat the woman until she miscarries, so maybe that’s what you advocate?) He does not get to have a say in genetic mutations that lead to fetal death. He does not get to have a say in abortion. He does not get to have a say in preeclampsia leading to premature labor and fetal death. He doesn’t get to have a say in any of that.

But without his decision to have sex, none of it matters, and without his decision to have sex, a live birth cannot result.

WHEN the live birth results, our society says he and the mother are both responsible to support THE CHILD that he fathered and she birthed, unless both he and the mother decide for adoption instead.

It is utterly without logic to say that if at any point in that process he loses control over the outcome that he is no longer responsible for the outcome.
 
People, regardless of gender, who choose potentially fertile sex are choosing the risk of a big responsibility.
This is as true and as modern as the statement "People who choose to drink water are choosing the risk of cholera".

It was almost universally true in the middle ages, but today is only true in very specific circumstances. It's possible to get cholera from drinking tap water in the first world, but it's so unlikely that those who do so are hardly to blame for not considering the risk before they took a drink.

Similarly it's possible to cause a pregnancy despite using proper contraception, but it's not something we should blame anyone for not expecting.

The development of effective contraception has changed the world. Using medieval arguments to develop medieval moral standards is no longer a wise idea (if it ever was).
 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
The pregnancy has happened. Unless you have a time machine you can't change that.

The safest resolution is early abortion. Thus risk is not an argument here.
 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
The pregnancy has happened. Unless you have a time machine you can't change that.

The safest resolution is early abortion. Thus risk is not an argument here.
The risk associated with an abortion, even an early abortion >0. Of course those risks are borne only by the woman so of course they are negligible. To the man.

Certainly an early abortion is the most convenient outcome for a man who doesn’t want any responsibility for the consequences of his orgasm. Early enough, and the woman’s figure isn’t affected even a little bit. She’ll be good to go in just a few weeks.
 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
The pregnancy has happened. Unless you have a time machine you can't change that.

The safest resolution is early abortion. Thus risk is not an argument here.
Depends on what you call risk.

You don't realize there's like, a fucking cocktail of human emotional reflexes linked specifically into becoming pregnant? You can't unmake that.

And moreover, the fact is, one of the most disgusting things about China was their forced abortion policy.

I get the resistance to wanting those who ejaculate viable sperms to pay an insurance against their power to be sexually reckless.

It is not a reasonable resistance.

I would as soon be amenible to EVERYONE paying insurance for their sexual recklessness except for the fact that one party is automatically stuck with consequences that are utterly unavoidable no matter what.

And of course, it is person gestating the pregnancy that has the full right and power to offer mercy upon the growing parasite.

It is their power because it is physically in them. It is their RIGHT because humans are harmed when we fail in mercy towards human beings.

Still, we recognize that it is more merciful to spare the world of having children who can only feel and be treated as unwanted, and so to spare them that as well
 
It’s amazing to me that men think that having an abortion is an easy, risk free way to ‘get out of their responsibilities’ of gaving a baby, which, btw, also frees the man from all such responsibilities without any medical risk, risk of violence from anti abortion nut jobs, is relatively risk free emotionally and poses zero risks to their future reproductive capacity. Men don’t even need to take a day off of work or school, feel guts out transport, have cramps or bleed. Men don’t even need to avoid sex. They can just live their lives as though nothing happened at all.
The pregnancy has happened. Unless you have a time machine you can't change that.

The safest resolution is early abortion. Thus risk is not an argument here.
The risk associated with an abortion, even an early abortion >0. Of course those risks are borne only by the woman so of course they are negligible. To the man.

Certainly an early abortion is the most convenient outcome for a man who doesn’t want any responsibility for the consequences of his orgasm. Early enough, and the woman’s figure isn’t affected even a little bit. She’ll be good to go in just a few weeks.
You are completely missing my point here.

There is no path forward that doesn't have risk. Abortion is the lowest risk path. Risk has to be compared to the other available options, not against a theoretical perfect system.
 
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