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Ken Ham's Momunent to Stupidity

 
 
 
NobleSavage

NobleSavage

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You just have to sit back in awe. (Maybe someone else wants to get into how he is suing to get millions of tax dollars to pay for this.)

Replica-Noahs-Ark-via-shutterstock-800x430-700x376.jpg
 
gmbteach said:
If this is a true replica of the 'ark' then surely people would realise that two of every animal couldn't possibly fit into it.
Click to expand...

No, they will not consider that.

They also will not consider that a large group of well-organized people are not able to complete this project without massive government subsidies, but we're supposed to believe a 600 year old man managed to build one of these that could actually float.
 
gmbteach said:
If this is a true replica of the 'ark' then surely people would realise that two of every animal couldn't possibly fit into it.
Click to expand...
Hopefully, at least a percentage of the people who go to see it will have that exact realisation when they picture where the elephants would go, and then the giraffes, and then the hippos, and then the big cats, then the equines, and then oh shit it's almost full already.

I hope that once it is built, someone creates one of those cut-away diagrams showing where each animal could be kept and where the food would be kept.
 
If it's supposed to be a replica then why does it have more than one window? Surely the one 15x15" window prescribed in the biblical account provides enough ventilation for 10 million life forms to get plenty of air to breathe.
 
I'm wondering where Noah got all those nice boards. There must have been a lumber mill close by.

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Underseer said:
gmbteach said:
If this is a true replica of the 'ark' then surely people would realise that two of every animal couldn't possibly fit into it.
Click to expand...

No, they will not consider that.

They also will not consider that a large group of well-organized people are not able to complete this project without massive government subsidies, but we're supposed to believe a 600 year old man managed to build one of these that could actually float.
Click to expand...

I'm curious how this one would fare in the ocean. I'd like to see it tested.
 
Last edited:
gmbteach said:
If this is a true replica of the 'ark' then surely people would realise that two of every animal couldn't possibly fit into it.
Click to expand...
Seven pair of the clean animals, one pair of the unclean animals.
 
I once calculated the deck spece on the Ark to be equal to 18 high school basketball courts.

Surely there are at least 18 Christain schools willing to perform an experiment?

Put 40 sheep in each BB court, and a year's worth of food. Have 8 students enter each day with one hour to maintain the livestock.
Figuring Noah, three sons, their four wives, working all day with a six-hour break to eat, sleep, etc. Allow one garden hose of water, but no limit on the water (which is horribly unrealistic, but i don't want any innocent animals to die).
If they go over their hour, say if containment is lost on the beasts, then the next school has to lose some of their time to make up for it. In fact, school #2 cannot enter the court until school #1 clocks out, with a firm 18 hour limit for the whole roster.

I think it'd make a hell of a reality show.

Find 18 Vets to play Noah, maybe? So they can see if they're losing any stock.
 
Keith&Co. said:
I once calculated the deck spece on the Ark to be equal to 18 high school basketball courts.

Surely there are at least 18 Christain schools willing to perform an experiment?

Put 40 sheep in each BB court, and a year's worth of food. Have 8 students enter each day with one hour to maintain the livestock.
Figuring Noah, three sons, their four wives, working all day with a six-hour break to eat, sleep, etc. Allow one garden hose of water, but no limit on the water (which is horribly unrealistic, but i don't want any innocent animals to die).
If they go over their hour, say if containment is lost on the beasts, then the next school has to lose some of their time to make up for it. In fact, school #2 cannot enter the court until school #1 clocks out, with a firm 18 hour limit for the whole roster.

I think it'd make a hell of a reality show.

Find 18 Vets to play Noah, maybe? So they can see if they're losing any stock.
Click to expand...
LOL...though I'd rather try to prove my wife wrong. One of her epiphanies that helped her give up fundagelicism, was that there was no way King Solomon could have really had 1,000 wives and concubines. Like what could he do with them all.... :D
 
funinspace said:
Keith&Co. said:
I once calculated the deck spece on the Ark to be equal to 18 high school basketball courts.

Surely there are at least 18 Christain schools willing to perform an experiment?

Put 40 sheep in each BB court, and a year's worth of food. Have 8 students enter each day with one hour to maintain the livestock.
Figuring Noah, three sons, their four wives, working all day with a six-hour break to eat, sleep, etc. Allow one garden hose of water, but no limit on the water (which is horribly unrealistic, but i don't want any innocent animals to die).
If they go over their hour, say if containment is lost on the beasts, then the next school has to lose some of their time to make up for it. In fact, school #2 cannot enter the court until school #1 clocks out, with a firm 18 hour limit for the whole roster.

I think it'd make a hell of a reality show.

Find 18 Vets to play Noah, maybe? So they can see if they're losing any stock.
Click to expand...
LOL...though I'd rather try to prove my wife wrong. One of her epiphanies that helped her give up fundagelicism, was that there was no way King Solomon could have really had 1,000 wives and concubines. Like what could he do with them all.... :D
Click to expand...

I think God stayed their hunger for the trip, wouldn't do to have lions and tigers with sheep and cows. But the real problem here is weight, wood structure can only be so big then the weight of cross pieces becomes critical. When you add that the thing has to float through the worst weather the earth has every experienced...well....best of luck.
 
funinspace said:
One of her epiphanies that helped her give up fundagelicism, was that there was no way King Solomon could have really had 1,000 wives and concubines. Like what could he do with them all.... :D
Click to expand...
at a certain point in any collection, it's no longer a matter of the joy each collectible gives you, it's the joy you get from the very act of acquisition, from the number of pages your inventory takes up. And the bragging rights, of course.
 
OLDMAN said:
funinspace said:
LOL...though I'd rather try to prove my wife wrong. One of her epiphanies that helped her give up fundagelicism, was that there was no way King Solomon could have really had 1,000 wives and concubines. Like what could he do with them all.... :D
Click to expand...

I think God stayed their hunger for the trip, wouldn't do to have lions and tigers with sheep and cows. But the real problem here is weight, wood structure can only be so big then the weight of cross pieces becomes critical. When you add that the thing has to float through the worst weather the earth has every experienced...well....best of luck.
Click to expand...

Pfffft...lest you forget, their god has magic pixie dust. Anytime (yeah its probably triple digits) something makes absolutely no sense like just how did the fresh water fish survive, they just pull out the magic Omni card, and say well my god can do anything....and poof, the wood becomes godwood, stronger than titanium, lighter than aluminum; and its alloyed with the Holy Spirit, so there is no galvanic corrosion.
 
Sajara said:
Jimmy Higgins said:
Seven pair of the clean animals, one pair of the unclean animals.
Click to expand...

Thank you Jimmy...everyone seems to forget this part of the story!!!
Click to expand...
When i wrote my Bible fanfic story, no one ever complained about the animals being in there by sevens. Not a word.
I got complaints for calling one character Ham, oddly enough.
And for naming the women with non-Hebrew names. Of course, this was before Eber, so there were no Hebrews, much less Hebrew names....
Oh, and a lot of people assumed i must Hate God to write a sex scene on the Ark...

Fleh. Everyone's a critic.
 
funinspace said:
Keith&Co. said:
I once calculated the deck spece on the Ark to be equal to 18 high school basketball courts.

Surely there are at least 18 Christain schools willing to perform an experiment?

Put 40 sheep in each BB court, and a year's worth of food. Have 8 students enter each day with one hour to maintain the livestock.
Figuring Noah, three sons, their four wives, working all day with a six-hour break to eat, sleep, etc. Allow one garden hose of water, but no limit on the water (which is horribly unrealistic, but i don't want any innocent animals to die).
If they go over their hour, say if containment is lost on the beasts, then the next school has to lose some of their time to make up for it. In fact, school #2 cannot enter the court until school #1 clocks out, with a firm 18 hour limit for the whole roster.

I think it'd make a hell of a reality show.

Find 18 Vets to play Noah, maybe? So they can see if they're losing any stock.
Click to expand...
LOL...though I'd rather try to prove my wife wrong. One of her epiphanies that helped her give up fundagelicism, was that there was no way King Solomon could have really had 1,000 wives and concubines. Like what could he do with them all.... :D
Click to expand...

Yes... what could you do with a 1000 concubines... Questions is more, what cant you do :devil-smiley-029:
 
crispy said:
a 1000 concubines... Questions is more, what cant you do :devil-smiley-029:
Click to expand...
Ooh, there's a forum game.....

So, starting with 1000.

Take 18 and construct an intimate golf course.
=982

Take 14 and stage a progressive version of a famous musical: Seven brides for seven sisters.
=968
 
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