I realize Kristen Welker had time constraints. I just wish she had touched on a few more issues with POTUS.
Welker: Mr. President, Reuters is reporting that Vladimir Putin has offered you the position of marshal in the Spetsnaz, or Russian special forces. Will you accept, and if so, how will you handle the time compromise between your duties in Washington and Russia?
Trump: I have to answer, I don't know. I have the best team, and they have worked out a schedule that puts me in Russia, Washington, and Mar-a-Lago. Other than that, the Russians love me and always treat me with respect.
Welker: Mr. President, the College of Cardinals will meet on May 8 to begin the process of electing a new Pope. There is some speculation that you are under consideration. If you are selected, will you assume the Papacy, and do you feel qualified for the position?
Trump: First, about qualified, no question. The Bible is my favorite book, and everyone should own several, and the best Bible is the God Bless the USA Bible. I would be the best Pope and most Popest Pope since Jesus Christ. I would be your favorite Pope. But whatever the Oriole College decides is fine with me.
Welker: As a follow-up, who is your favorite hero in the Bible?
Trump: That is such a personal thing, I wouldn't like to say. There are so, so many great heroes, and they're all great. I will tell you that Eric and Don Jr.'s favorite Bible hero is Hercules, because he was so strong and could lift, like, huge boulders and trees. Almost like God!
Welker: Mr. President, your defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, has said that he is prepared to use the AT4 Shoulder-Mounted Rocket Launcher and the AH-64 Apache attack helicopter against the Hands Off protesters. Would you ever issue such an order?
Trump: I'm not ruling out anything. Look, these are people who in many cases were just let out of jail or insane asylums. They are some of the worst people on earth. They never liked Trump. And they are very stupid people. Just look at their hero: Joe Biden.
Welker: Mr. President, our country may face food production problems, both with trade tariffs and a worker shortage. Given that possibility, do you think cannabalism is wrong?
Trump: This is so unfair. We're talking short, very short-term problems with this stuff, and then we'll be rolling in wealth. We'll be winning so much, you'll tell me, President Trump, we're tired of winning!! I'll say this, in answer to your question. America's kids don't need fifteen arms or legs or whatever for their groceries. Groceries -- no one used that word before I started using it. The groceries. You can get by with one arm or one leg and that will be a lot of groceries. And maybe an egg.
Welker: Mr. President, would you kick or trip or otherwise assault a blind woman, if -- hypothetically -- she was begging in front of the White House?
Trump: That is such an unfair question, and again, this is an unfair interview. You didn't say if she was nasty to me. Did she call me a name? Did she accuse me of things I never did? Plenty of the blind do not like Trump. Everybody knows that. That's why they're blind!! Look, my father, and he was a very respected businessman, told me that if someone hits you, you hit them back 15 times harder, or you kill them. It's very simple, it's like Bing Bong, Bing-Bing Bong.