I guess you are forgetting that while out on bail Marissa went back to Grey's house and attacked him, giving him a black eye, even though not having contact with her ex was a condition of her bail. That sounds like an abusive spouse to me.
When it comes to how a victim of prolonged Domestic Violence responds to their accumulated frustrations and anger, we certainly cannot take them down to the level of being abusive themselves.
It is a problem that when both a man and a woman are abusive toward each other the woman's abusiveness is dismissed as mere "accumulated frustration and anger" and the man is still considered the really guilty party. Grey was lucky that Marissa didn't kill him but people like Travis Alexander (his murderer was luckily convicted), Matthew Winkler (his murderer got a slap on the wrist in an amazing travesty of justice), Kevin Shorter (his murderer was acquitted even though there was no doubt that it was her that shot and killed him in the back) weren't so lucky. In each case the perp claimed that the victim was abusive toward them justifying the murders but of course their victims weren't there to defend themselves. Marissa Alexander case presents perhaps a watershed where women are no longer given a free pass for violence against men (Jodi Arias case happened after Marissa's).
When we look at domestic abuse, we have to pay attention to the personality of the labeled as "abusive" party. Abusive personality being the designation factor. Which documented traits of that person's personality and reflected via how they treated and communicated with the other party designated as a victim of DV. How they treated and communicated with other parties is also relevant to that person's abusive personality. Commonly, an abusive personality will show persistent abusive traits in their overall interactions with family members, relatives, people close to them. It is never one isolated incident.
Violating bail conditions against contact with her victim and attacking him in his house show that the shooting wasn't an isolated incident.
Do you have any documentation to provide pointing to Melissa Harris' traits of an abusive personality? Or is your claim only based on that one incident?
Two incidents that we know of.
I have asked you whether you have any documentation to provide pointing to Melissa Alexander's traits of an abusive personality ( I know I had typed Melissa Harris instead of Marissa Alexander while I was watching Melissa Harris show ) while I had just explained which process takes place to determine whether a spouse has been abusive. You previously placed Marissa and her spouse on the same level as "mutually abusive spouses". Let me enlighten you as to the actual abusive personality of her spouse and one where the traits were reflected in his own deposition :
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/...rpts-From-Marissa-Alexander-s-Abusive-Husband
“I was in a rage. I called her a whore and bitch and . . . I told her, you know, I used to always tell her that, if I can’t have you, nobody going to have you. It was not the first time of ever saying it to her.”
"Gray said he had intimated that he had unsavory friends who would carry out vengeful acts on his behalf. “I ain’t going to lie. I been on the streets before I started driving trucks, you know, so I know a lot of people and she knows I know a lot of people.”
"As they argued, he recounted, Marissa retreated into the bathroom. “I don’t recall breaking the door open, but I know I beat on it hard enough where it could have been broken open. Probably had some dents.”"
"Did you put your hands around her neck? “Not that particular day. No.”
"They struggled. She ran out through the laundry room into the garage. “But I knew she couldn’t leave out of the garage because the garage door was locked.” She came back, he said, with a gun, yelling at him to leave. “I told her I ain’t leaving until you talk to me, I ain’t going nowhere, and so I started walking toward her and she shot in the air."
To note the mention of :"But I knew she couldn’t leave out of the garage because the garage door was locked" That directly refers to you having accused Marissa of having lied about the garage being locked.
"He added details. “I start walking toward her, because she was telling me to leave the whole time and, you know, I was cursing and all that.” His two sons by a previous marriage were in the room. “If my kids wouldn’t have been there, I probably would have put my hand on her. Probably hit her. I got five baby mommas and I put my hands on every last one of them, except for one."
“I physically abused them. Emotionally. You know.”"
"He said, “The gun was never actually pointed at me. When she raised the gun down and raised it up, you know, the gun was never pointed at me. The fact is, you know . . . she never been violent toward me. I was always the one starting it. If she was violent toward me, it was because she was trying to get me up off her or stop me from doing.” "
To note: " she never been violent toward me". I was always the one starting it"
"“The way I was with women, they was like they had to walk on egg shells around me. They never knew what I was thinking. What I might say . . . What I might do . . . I hit them. Push them.” "
You see Derec, from the above, I would with 100% certainly define him as an abusive personality and label him as an abusive spouse. On what specifics does your claim rely on regarding Marissa being an abusive spouse? You placed them on equal footing. You now are challenged to prove it.
And as added "spice" confirming what I had explained to you before regarding a PATTERN of abusive behavior :
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/...xander-s-Abusive-Husband-Of-Extreme-Brutality
Any attempt on your part to respond to those 5 women's accusations with a claim that they are lying, I will expect you provide evidence that they are. Their testimonies CONFIRM the pattern of abusive behavior Rico displayed versus no existing pattern of Marissa's part. You placed them on the same footing by claiming they were "mutually abusive spouses". I contend and have now supported my contention that your claim holds no water.
