Girls dealing with boys' sexual behavior

[Angry Floof]

Sex Before Kissing: How 15-Year-Old Girls Are Dealing With Porn-Obsessed Boys

“[I want] better education regarding sex for both boys and girls [and] information about pornography, and the way it influences harmful sexual practices.”

These are the words of Lucy, aged 15, one of 600 young Australian women and girls who took part in a just-released survey commissioned by Plan Australia and Our Watch. The survey, conducted by Ipsos, gathered responses from the girls and young women aged 15-19 in all states and territories.

In the survey report, entitled Don’t send me that pic, participants reported that online sexual abuse and harassment were becoming a normal part of their everyday interactions. And while the behavior seemed so common, more than 80% said it was unacceptable for boyfriends to request naked images.

Sexual bullying and harassment are part of daily life for many girls growing up as a part of this digital generation. Young girls are speaking out more and more about how these practices have links with pornography—because it’s directly affecting them.

A 2012 review of research on “The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents” found that adolescent consumption of internet porn was linked to attitudinal changes, including acceptance of male dominance and female submission as the primary sexual paradigm, with women viewed as “sexual playthings eager to fulfill male sexual desires.” The authors found that “adolescents who are intentionally exposed to violent sexually explicit material were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive than those who were not exposed.”

The proliferation and globalization of hypersexualized imagery and pornographic themes makes healthy sexual exploration almost impossible. Sexual conquest and domination are untempered by the bounds of respect, intimacy and authentic human connection. Young people are not learning about intimacy, friendship and love, but about cruelty and humiliation.

This is from an anti-porn group, which may be a controversy of its own, but the research is clear - by allowing these behaviors to go unchecked, we're producing emotionally stunted, unempathetic sexual predators in our boys.

 

[repoman]

Is porn similar to white sugar, cocaine and so on in that it is an artificial concentration of something natural?

We see that there are side effects to refined sugars, what about refined sexuality?

Add to that a later on concentration of bitching and moaning about having dating troubles with incels and even now femcels. A little complaining in person to friends about being dateless did happen in the past (but those conversations would be ten minutes once a week maybe), now the medium of forums and YouTube and so on leads to craziness. The dosage really makes the poison.

What about dopamine depletion?

 

[Metaphor]

“We need some sort of crack down on the violent pornography that is currently accessible to boys and men. This violent pornography should be illegal to make or view in Australia as we clearly have a problem with violence and boys are watching a lot of pornography which can be very violent … This is influencing men’s attitude towards women and what they think is acceptable. Violent pornography is infiltrating Australian relationships.” – Josie, aged 18 years.

So...who's going to watch every video on the internet to see if it is 'violent' or not and mark it banned?

 

[DBT]

Shouldn't life's problems, be they sexual or otherwise, be a matter of education? If parents neglect their duty by ignoring these issues, perhaps it should be a part of school curriculum, social studies. If it already is a part of the education program, maybe in its present form it is inadequate?

 

[Angry Floof]

Shouldn't life's problems, be they sexual or otherwise, be a matter of education? If parents neglect their duty by ignoring these issues, perhaps it should be a part of school curriculum, social studies. If it already is a part of the education program, maybe in its present form it is inadequate?

Probably. We just don't move to respond as fast as our social media age affects us, which it does on a wide scale very quickly.

 

[Tigers!]

So porn may be harmful?
Who'd thought otherwise?

 

[ZiprHead]

They are totally going to give the wrong idea of how quickly a plumber will show up.

 

[Keith&Co.]

They are totally going to give the wrong idea of how quickly a plumber will show up.

...the weight-bearing capacity of an operating Xerox machine...

...the expected duration of a D-cell under continuous discharge...

 

[repoman]

Well young guys don't really need a lot of stimulation to cum, the extreme porn is massive overkill for their needs.

Leave that crazy depraved stuff for middle aged schlubs with oversimulated brains and dropping tests done supplies.

But seriously, instead of going home from crappy, unsatisfying work and "kicking the dog" people are now venting with Throat Gaggers 43. Some rough sex in real life can be ok though many are not into it, it is like being a rich guy on a safari the way it is now with porn. Sport fucking indeed.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

So porn may be harmful?
Who'd thought otherwise?

The problem here is not the porn per se, but the lack of realistic information about sex.

Movies are almost always a very unrealistic portrayal of reality, it's just for the most part kids have seen enough of reality to understand they're just entertainment. When sex is hidden from them and they end up learning from porn you have a problem.

 

[Toni]

I was really kind of waiting to see if anyone was going to address the negative effects that porn seems to have on young girls who must deal with the porn informed expectations of the boys in their lives.

Or whether the expectations and norms seen in pornos are harmful or potentially harmful to boys.

It wasn't as though I had high expectations here but this is extremely disappointing.

To me, Loren hits closest to the mark with noting that there is a lack of realistic information about sex made available to adolescents.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

I was really kind of waiting to see if anyone was going to address the negative effects that porn seems to have on young girls who must deal with the porn informed expectations of the boys in their lives.

Or whether the expectations and norms seen in pornos are harmful or potentially harmful to boys.

It wasn't as though I had high expectations here but this is extremely disappointing.

To me, Loren hits closest to the mark with noting that there is a lack of realistic information about sex made available to adolescents.

Well yeah. I thought that the solution was quite easy. In sex education, teach "Porn is as real and realistic as an Avengers movie."

 

[Toni]

I was really kind of waiting to see if anyone was going to address the negative effects that porn seems to have on young girls who must deal with the porn informed expectations of the boys in their lives.

Or whether the expectations and norms seen in pornos are harmful or potentially harmful to boys.

It wasn't as though I had high expectations here but this is extremely disappointing.

To me, Loren hits closest to the mark with noting that there is a lack of realistic information about sex made available to adolescents.

Well yeah. I thought that the solution was quite easy. In sex education, teach "Porn is as real and realistic as an Avengers movie."

Comparing porn to an Avenger's movie will not move the needle towards more realistic expectations here.

To me, there are at least two major aspects of this issue:

1. Teaching people to treat all others with respect. Full stop. Also, what that looks like in a dating and/or romantic relationship or other intimate relationship. This would include teaching people that they are worthy of respect and that they should rightfully expect to be treated with dignity and respect. Full stop.
This includes things like no means no. Full stop.

2. Teaching basic sexual education, not just how to avoid unwanted pregnancy or STIs. Frankly, I've sat in a room with some very well educated people (majority held Ph.D's) and felt that they could ALL use a good course in human biology aimed at adults (especially those approaching or past middle age). Something like a user friendly user's manual: This is your body and this is how you take care of it. System by system, overall, what to expect as you age (not just for kids approaching puberty but of course it should start before puberty) and so on. I won't even go into how many times I've drawn basic pictures for adults about how many holes one can expect to find between a woman's legs and what each one is for.

The second is close to meaningless without the first.


Can you imagine being a young girl or a young woman who is suddenly confronted with some guy she doesn't really know but maybe kinda likes trying to shove her face into his lap, demanding a blow job???????

Oh, and this is not 'new.' This kind of expectation/behavior has been around more than 20 years.

 

[Gun Nut]

So porn may be harmful?
Who'd thought otherwise?

The problem here is not the porn per se, but the lack of realistic information about sex.

Movies are almost always a very unrealistic portrayal of reality, it's just for the most part kids have seen enough of reality to understand they're just entertainment. When sex is hidden from them and they end up learning from porn you have a problem.

I was just going to say that this is what you get when you criminalize / prohibit that which has a significant demand. The war on drugs is over... drugs won. The war on sex continues and there will continue to be casualties... such as the poisoning of young minds that seek information or entertainment underground.

 

[Toni]

So porn may be harmful?
Who'd thought otherwise?

The problem here is not the porn per se, but the lack of realistic information about sex.

Movies are almost always a very unrealistic portrayal of reality, it's just for the most part kids have seen enough of reality to understand they're just entertainment. When sex is hidden from them and they end up learning from porn you have a problem.

I was just going to say that this is what you get when you criminalize / prohibit that which has a significant demand. The war on drugs is over... drugs won. The war on sex continues and there will continue to be casualties... such as the poisoning of young minds that seek information or entertainment underground.

Care to respond to the following (from the OP)?

“The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents” found that adolescent consumption of internet porn was linked to attitudinal changes, including acceptance of male dominance and female submission as the primary sexual paradigm, with women viewed as “sexual playthings eager to fulfill male sexual desires.” The authors found that “adolescents who are intentionally exposed to violent sexually explicit material were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive than those who were not exposed.”

The proliferation and globalization of hypersexualized imagery and pornographic themes makes healthy sexual exploration almost impossible. Sexual conquest and domination are untempered by the bounds of respect, intimacy and authentic human connection. Young people are not learning about intimacy, friendship and love, but about cruelty and humiliation.

 

[Jarhyn]

I was just going to say that this is what you get when you criminalize / prohibit that which has a significant demand. The war on drugs is over... drugs won. The war on sex continues and there will continue to be casualties... such as the poisoning of young minds that seek information or entertainment underground.

Care to respond to the following (from the OP)?

“The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents” found that adolescent consumption of internet porn was linked to attitudinal changes, including acceptance of male dominance and female submission as the primary sexual paradigm, with women viewed as “sexual playthings eager to fulfill male sexual desires.” The authors found that “adolescents who are intentionally exposed to violent sexually explicit material were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive than those who were not exposed.”

The proliferation and globalization of hypersexualized imagery and pornographic themes makes healthy sexual exploration almost impossible. Sexual conquest and domination are untempered by the bounds of respect, intimacy and authentic human connection. Young people are not learning about intimacy, friendship and love, but about cruelty and humiliation.

Hey, sometimes I like some cruelty and humiliation. Many (most?) people do. This is largely because the world is full of cruelty and humiliation, and sometimes it's nice to experience it on my own terms, with a happy ending involved, preferably followed by aftercare and preceded by a discussion about safe words.

What is lacking here is a discussion about why those two parts are important.

There's nothing wrong with fantasies, but there's a reason most porn is labeled 18+.

Honestly, sometimes I think the solution to this is not to ban porn, or restrict minors from accessing porn, but rather that we really need an entirely NEW form of porn that ISN'T 18+ where people have relationships, treat each other as people, and negotiate terms of a roleplay before they get weird and fetishy

 

[Toni]

Care to respond to the following (from the OP)?

Hey, sometimes I like some cruelty and humiliation. Many (most?) people do. This is largely because the world is full of cruelty and humiliation, and sometimes it's nice to experience it on my own terms, with a happy ending involved, preferably followed by aftercare and preceded by a discussion about safe words.

What is lacking here is a discussion about why those two parts are important.

There's nothing wrong with fantasies, but there's a reason most porn is labeled 18+.

Honestly, sometimes I think the solution to this is not to ban porn, or restrict minors from accessing porn, but rather that we really need an entirely NEW form of porn that ISN'T 18+ where people have relationships, treat each other as people, and negotiate terms of a roleplay before they get weird and fetishy

The OP and my comments and the last query referencing and quoting from the OP has nothing to do with whether or not some people enjoy any or which or all fetishes in what circumstances.

It has to do with what it feels like to kind of like someone (or even not) and suddenly finding that you are expected to blow some guy who hasn’t made any effort to even know your name and who hasn’t got a clue that there is a difference between over 18 porn (as tho adolescent boys care about the age limit and don’t get around it with ease) and real life. You know like: feelings.

Why not address the fact that there are girls with little or no sexual experience and little or no relationship experience expected to give guys blow jobs whenever the guy wants?

Does nobody have a daughter or niece that they care about even a little?

 

[RavenSky]

I think Jarhyn's post is basically the #3 to Toni's list.

1. Teaching people to treat all others with respect (which absolutely must include "'no' means 'no'" & that anything less than an enthusiastic "yes" still means "no")

2. Teaching basic sexual education

3. Teaching that humans are and like an entire spectrum of stuff, and that none of it is wrong as long as #1 is being followed.

 

[Jarhyn]

I think Jarhyn's post is basically the #3 to Toni's list.

1. Teaching people to treat all others with respect (which absolutely must include "'no' means 'no'" & that anything less than an enthusiastic "yes" still means "no")

2. Teaching basic sexual education

3. Teaching that humans are and like an entire spectrum of stuff, and that none of it is wrong as long as #1 is being followed.

And specifically teaching that, if you want to do porno style stuff, ask, and roleplay it honestly, don't just assume and do.

 

[RavenSky]

I think Jarhyn's post is basically the #3 to Toni's list.

1. Teaching people to treat all others with respect (which absolutely must include "'no' means 'no'" & that anything less than an enthusiastic "yes" still means "no")

2. Teaching basic sexual education

3. Teaching that humans are and like an entire spectrum of stuff, and that none of it is wrong as long as #1 is being followed.

And specifically teaching that, if you want to do porno style stuff, ask, and roleplay it honestly, don't just assume and do.

Exactly! (Likewise, if you want to do plain vanilla stuff, ask, don't just assume and do)

It really all comes down to genuinely respect the other person. I've never understood why that is so difficult for some people