How can I have the best chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office?

[NightHawkBuzz]

I am wondering how I can have the best possible chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office. I would like to know how I can make sure that I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

 

[Patooka]

If all you are interested in is winning and not actually representing or believing in promoting any ideals or values it's quite easy. Two steps:

1) Buy kneepads
2) Find some rich donors

Having said that, I'm never comfortable when someone with your attitude towards politics enters government. It never ends well for everybody else.

 

[NightHawkBuzz]

If all you are interested in is winning and not actually representing or believing in promoting any ideals or values it's quite easy. Two steps:

1) Buy kneepads
2) Find some rich donors

Having said that, I'm never comfortable when someone with your attitude towards politics enters government. It never ends well for everybody else.

That doesn't matter I'm not worried about what your attitude is towards me in politics. All I am worried about is winning when I run and getting an office seat like I want.

 

[Patooka]

All I am worried about is winning when I run and getting an office seat like I want.

Good. Make that your campaign slogan and don't change a single word.

 

[Elixir]

I think Trump may have already copyrighted it.

 

[NightHawkBuzz]

All I am worried about is winning when I run and getting an office seat like I want.

Good. Make that your campaign slogan and don't change a single word.

I don't know why you comment on my post if you only have nothing to contribute.

 

[bilby]

All I am worried about is winning when I run and getting an office seat like I want.

Good. Make that your campaign slogan and don't change a single word.

I don't know why you comment on my post if you only have nothing to contribute.

?

Mockery isn't "nothing".

It's all your OP deserves, so it constitutes "almost everything", from the set of "valuable and sensible contributions to the thread".

My contribution, FWIW, is to wonder why this thread wasn't posted to the humour forum to begin with.

 

[TV and credit cards]

Step one is “testing the waters”. Have you tested the waters yet? That is, gone around your district talking to voters to see how receptive they are to your message?
What is your message? Pretend I’m in your district and you want my vote. Let’s hear it. Why should I vote for you?

Make sure you have a thorough understanding of sections 100.72(a) and 100.131(a) of the Federal Election Campaign Acts contribution limits and prohibitions.
And you’ll need a treasurer.

But first things first. Why should I vote for you?

 

[zorq]

Make sure you meet the requirements.

Pick a good district to run in. Avoid districts with incumbants running and avoid districts with populations who won't be receptive to your political platform. Speaking of which...

Cultivate a political platform that resonates with the voters in your district. To do that you should talk to a lot of them to figure out what they care about.

Fund raise. You need lots and lots of money. Check the laws and rules about this (both federal and state). This requires lots of hard work and creativity. You might only need to sell your soul to a couple big donors or you might need to go begging among the common people. If you can pull in some significant money here you might attract some attention and ...

Win the support of a major political party. For you, i recomend only the Republicans. If the party is behind you you will get a lot more help. And if you picked the right district or got really lucky it could be a cake walk from here on out. If it is a little bit more difficult district you will need to ...

Campaign. Again it is a lot of hard work but if you pulled in enough money fundraising and convinced the party to support you then you can hire people to help you do the work more effectively and efficiently. The work includes campaign events, advertising, social media presence, and possibly debates.

There you go. And I wish you all the bad luck imaginable.

 

[Ford]

You DO know that this is a job, right? Winning the election is just passing the job interview. You have to ask yourself "do I want to do this job? Do I even know what it entails?"

Because it appears you don't even have a grasp of what you're trying to "win.". It's not a prize. It's a job, and if you don't want to DO the job, don't waste your time applying for the position.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

I am wondering how I can have the best possible chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office. I would like to know how I can make sure that I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

By matching your goals with a district. It'll need to be pretty red. Like an MTG district.

And money. House seats are getting pricey, even in cheap areas.

That you need to ask implies you have no business being in government.

 

[ZiprHead]

I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

You're doing it backwards. That might be your ptoblem.

 

[pood]

All I am worried about is winning when I run and getting an office seat like I want.

Good. Make that your campaign slogan and don't change a single word.

I don't know why you comment on my post if you only have nothing to contribute.

We are contributing. We are contributing to making a better world by keeping you out of political office.

 

[Elixir]

Wow. A lot of people who hold contempt for your blind ambition are offering up help, Buzz. That’s a VERY good sign for your prospects.
My own suggestion: find someone with an IQ higher than room temperature and have them write your script for you, once you’ve done all the canvassing work recommended above (so the script reflects the desires of the electorate).
Then get out there, kiss hands, shake babies and never ever ever go off script. Because if you do, people will immediately recognize a power-hungry incompetent vying for power, with zero interest in their well-being.
In case you don’t know what that means, it means you’ll lose, BIGLY.

 

[pood]

I am wondering how I can have the best possible chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office. I would like to know how I can make sure that I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

Your last name wouldn’t be Santos, would it?

 

[TomC]

I am wondering how I can have the best possible chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office. I would like to know how I can make sure that I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

Your last name wouldn’t be Santos, would it?

Now that you've said that, "NightHawkBuzz" will probably always sound like a stage name for a drag stripper.
Tom

 

[Patooka]

But first things first. Why should I vote for you?

Because he wants to win. NightHawkBuzz made that very clear.

 

[Politesse]

If all you are interested in is winning and not actually representing or believing in promoting any ideals or values it's quite easy. Two steps:

1) Buy kneepads
2) Find some rich donors

Having said that, I'm never comfortable when someone with your attitude towards politics enters government. It never ends well for everybody else.

That doesn't matter I'm not worried about what your attitude is towards me in politics. All I am worried about is winning when I run and getting an office seat like I want.

You should definitely run as a Republican. If anyone criticizes your blind ambition, accuse them of socialism.

 

[Swammerdami]

I am wondering how I can have the best possible chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office. I would like to know how I can make sure that I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

All kidding aside, emulating George Santos' approach is your best bet. You asked how to win the race; didn't ask about follow-up re-elections.

But as far as that goes, it shouldn't be hard to outperform Santos. Make your lies a little less blatant, and harder to check. Endorse some conspiracy theories but try to make them slightly less stupid than Jewish space lasers and Parkland shooting false-flag. I'll give you one freebie -- Whoopi Goldberg is a Jewish pedophile -- but if you need more you'll want to hire me as political consultant.

Tell your donors that half of all their donations to you will go to the Defense Fund for President Trump. It doesn't matter that you're lying.

When planning your campaign, just remember that the average American voter is very very stupid, and the average Republican is even stupider than that.

 

[Bomb#20]

I am wondering how I can have the best possible chance of winning my congressional race when I run for office. I would like to know how I can make sure that I win a seat in congress and get as many votes as possible.

Solicit advice from a professional, not from a passel of internet crackpots.