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Underseer said:
Remember the funny headlines we were throwing at each other a while back?

I think I just found the headline to top them all:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/brobible.com/man-cooking-up-ramen-in-a-speedo-accidentally-shoo-9ldk

Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
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The text is just as good:
A man in Taiwan was playing video games in just his Speedo and decided to make some Ramen noodles. A box of bottle rockets was a little too close to the open flames on the stove and started to fire. The rockets were aimed right at the dude’s crotch.

Let’s go right to the scene as it unfolds:

“It was these sounds that alerted neighbors to call the fire department. When the emergency workers opened the door to Mr. Ye’s room they could vaguely see him through a cloud of smoke, wearing a Speedo, on all fours, legs spread, and yelling ‘Owwwww!!!'”

Mr. Ye later described his ordeal to the media saying all the fireworks seemed to fly as if they somehow intended to hit him in his banana hammock. His only defense was to flail his feet wildly in a desperate attempt to block one or two.”

The man was treated and released from hospital with only minor bruises and burns to his crotch. The ramen was ruined.
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