Inspirational quotes for rationalists.

[DrZoidberg]

How about a thread where we take classic inspirational quotes, with faulty logic, and fix them.

"Never give up, unless giving up was the smart thing to do".

"You can be anything you want to be, as long as you keep your goals realistic"

"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me, unless I'm suffering from something I actually need help from others with"

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts, so always put everything off until tomorrow"

"It always seems impossible until it's done, unless it was never meant to be"

"The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power, albeit to a very limited extent".

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough, unless what you're lacking is actual ability".

Feel free to add your own.

Let's get (de-)motivated

 

[ZiprHead]

 

[thebeave]

Love it! Here's a couple off the top of my head.

That which does not kill you, makes you stronger. Unless it made you a quadraplegic.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you're a fucking idiot.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you're a fucking idiot.

The next time my wife says, "Everything happens for a reason", I definitely will NOT use that reply.

 

[WAB]

Winning isn't everything, but it's better than losing.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but who wants two birds in their bush?

 

[bilby]

Many years ago, the HR/Training staff at the company I worked for put up a bunch of motivational posters in the training room.

A few of us snuck in one day and replaced one of the posters with this:



Nobody noticed for over six months.

 

[ZiprHead]

Nobody noticed for over six months.

Corporate art sucks major ass.

 

[Elixir]

That which does not kill you, makes you stronger. Unless it made you a quadraplegic.

Thought that was "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger. Except bears. Bears will eat you."
Maybe that's just a regionalism.

 

[Atheos]

Necessity is the mother of invention - and the father of patent lawsuits.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

 

[ZiprHead]

Giving is better than receiving. Unless you're receiving a Mercedes Benz cuz that's fucking awesome.

 

[bilby]

"Where did all these bloody moths come from?" - Thomas Edison, 1879

 

[WAB]

The bigger they are, the more it'll hurt when they hit you.

 

[Underseer]

Them libtard Soshul Justus Warryers don' wanna admits that ah is barn superior on account'a my parents fuck'd an' both mah parents has superyer whait skins! Them libtards're jess jelous of mah intellekshool an' moral superyoritee ah gits from mah whait skins! Yee haw! Ah cain't waits fer this rally ta end so's ah kin git back t' fuckin' mah sistuh! Ah'm gitten' hard jess thainkin' about her! [/parody][/slightexaggeration]

 

[ZiprHead]

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you cannot pick your friend's nose.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

It's nice to be wanted, but not "dead or alive".

 

[WAB]

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice good looking and rich.

 

[steve_bank]

Sex is not rational. Enjoy it without wondering why.

 

[James Brown]

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you cannot pick your friend's nose.

You can choose your friends. You can ignore your family. But you can't do either with your idiot co-workers.

 

[ZiprHead]

You can take one man's trash to another man's treasure, but you can't make it drink.