DrZoidberg
Contributor
Here's a question to the men of the forum. I personally think that a factor in us believing in #MeToo is if we've, ourselves, been falsely accused of something by women. So I think it's interesting to hear if you've been falsely accused of raping or assaulting a woman?
Poll results are anonymous.
It's happened to me twice.
First as a teenager. I was accused of rape. It was a girl who had been unfaithful to her boyfriend with me. When he found out about it, she accused me of rape. The good news, for me, was that nobody believed her. It was clearly bullshit. There's no possible grey area here. She took the initiative first and we saw each other several times over several months. Each time on her initiative. I ran into her years later and she was still telling people about my crime against her. Which was, of course, incredibly unsettling, since we were now properly adults in our 20'ies. So her initial childish handling of her indiscretion had led her to convince herself her obvious lies were true. Which is so bizarre I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm guessing she has some serious mental affliction that can explain it.
Then in my thirties I was in a depression and got into a relationship with an extremely emotionally manipulative woman. When I got out of my depression I realised what a nut she was, and broke up with her. She then accuses me of having assaulted her and beaten her throughout the relationship. She was into being spanked, so she had bruises. She took these to the police as evidence. I was incredibly lucky, because all her own best friends turned on her. All of them. They told the police about her sexual interests. I'm guessing any moron could figure out that her bruises were in no way compatible with actual physical assault. It was enough for the police to drop the case. But she spent a lot of energy contacting my friends, and anybody else I had contact with, and telling them about what I'd allegedly done to her. This caused a lot of trouble for me. The friends close to her never bought her bullshit. It was only people far removed from her, who didn't know her at all that turned on me. It's a long and sad story in itself. It did bring me a lot of trouble. Worth noting is that she tried to manipulate her closest friends into being witnesses to wholly made up situations of my violence against her. I was told that this is what turned her friends against her.
It got worse. She also managed to hack one of my messenger services (because I'd used the same password as for other stuff, she knew the password for). She sent herself a bunch of death threats and stuff. Reported me to the police again. This time around she got busted, because she'd used her own phone to send the messages and the messeging service she used saved this information. They gave it to the police. So now she's guilty of an extremely serious crime and there's evidence against her. The police asked me if I wanted to press charges. I didn't. To my knowledge she's still telling the world about what a violent person I am.
The reason why I'm sharing this is because I don't think I'm special. I don't think false accusations are all that rare. Most men I've spoken to about this have also, at some point, stories about being falsely accused. I don't think it's as rare as many at this forum assumes it is.
There's actually a third one. But that one is incredibly bizarre. I'd had sex with a woman in my 20'ies. It was a friend of a friend. We had been out partying the whole group of friends. At some point we ended up in her apartment, and had great consensual drunken sex. At the time her younger brother was visiting and was sleeping over on the couch. I remember that he was at this moment incredibly drunk. But so were we. We only had sex once. But we hung out in the same circles and ran into each other now and again. She clearly felt safe around me and we liked each other. We weren't close friends. But friends. Then I randomly run into her brother in a bar, who wanted to beat me up for having "manipulated" her sister into sex. He was convinced that I'd somehow twisted his sisters arm into sex against her will. I won that fight because he was too drunk to function, and I can actually fight. I later talked to her about it, and she apologised about her brother. She explained that he was a drug addict and probably mentally ill, and got crazy shit like this into his head all the time. The following years I met her brother several times and each time was similarly "interesting". Which wasn't at all fun whenever I was around people who didn't know me that well. God knows what they started thinking about me because of this idiot.
Poll results are anonymous.
It's happened to me twice.
First as a teenager. I was accused of rape. It was a girl who had been unfaithful to her boyfriend with me. When he found out about it, she accused me of rape. The good news, for me, was that nobody believed her. It was clearly bullshit. There's no possible grey area here. She took the initiative first and we saw each other several times over several months. Each time on her initiative. I ran into her years later and she was still telling people about my crime against her. Which was, of course, incredibly unsettling, since we were now properly adults in our 20'ies. So her initial childish handling of her indiscretion had led her to convince herself her obvious lies were true. Which is so bizarre I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm guessing she has some serious mental affliction that can explain it.
Then in my thirties I was in a depression and got into a relationship with an extremely emotionally manipulative woman. When I got out of my depression I realised what a nut she was, and broke up with her. She then accuses me of having assaulted her and beaten her throughout the relationship. She was into being spanked, so she had bruises. She took these to the police as evidence. I was incredibly lucky, because all her own best friends turned on her. All of them. They told the police about her sexual interests. I'm guessing any moron could figure out that her bruises were in no way compatible with actual physical assault. It was enough for the police to drop the case. But she spent a lot of energy contacting my friends, and anybody else I had contact with, and telling them about what I'd allegedly done to her. This caused a lot of trouble for me. The friends close to her never bought her bullshit. It was only people far removed from her, who didn't know her at all that turned on me. It's a long and sad story in itself. It did bring me a lot of trouble. Worth noting is that she tried to manipulate her closest friends into being witnesses to wholly made up situations of my violence against her. I was told that this is what turned her friends against her.
It got worse. She also managed to hack one of my messenger services (because I'd used the same password as for other stuff, she knew the password for). She sent herself a bunch of death threats and stuff. Reported me to the police again. This time around she got busted, because she'd used her own phone to send the messages and the messeging service she used saved this information. They gave it to the police. So now she's guilty of an extremely serious crime and there's evidence against her. The police asked me if I wanted to press charges. I didn't. To my knowledge she's still telling the world about what a violent person I am.
The reason why I'm sharing this is because I don't think I'm special. I don't think false accusations are all that rare. Most men I've spoken to about this have also, at some point, stories about being falsely accused. I don't think it's as rare as many at this forum assumes it is.
There's actually a third one. But that one is incredibly bizarre. I'd had sex with a woman in my 20'ies. It was a friend of a friend. We had been out partying the whole group of friends. At some point we ended up in her apartment, and had great consensual drunken sex. At the time her younger brother was visiting and was sleeping over on the couch. I remember that he was at this moment incredibly drunk. But so were we. We only had sex once. But we hung out in the same circles and ran into each other now and again. She clearly felt safe around me and we liked each other. We weren't close friends. But friends. Then I randomly run into her brother in a bar, who wanted to beat me up for having "manipulated" her sister into sex. He was convinced that I'd somehow twisted his sisters arm into sex against her will. I won that fight because he was too drunk to function, and I can actually fight. I later talked to her about it, and she apologised about her brother. She explained that he was a drug addict and probably mentally ill, and got crazy shit like this into his head all the time. The following years I met her brother several times and each time was similarly "interesting". Which wasn't at all fun whenever I was around people who didn't know me that well. God knows what they started thinking about me because of this idiot.