Nagging could drive men to an early grave, study suggests

[NobleSavage]

People who are frequently nagged and put upon by family and friends are more likely to die during middle age – and men are most at risk.

Individuals who regularly experience stress in their relationships with their partner, children, family, friends or neighbours are two to three times more likely to die prematurely, according to new research.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...to-an-early-grave-study-suggests-9342164.html


I knew it all along!

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Oh great. So, not only do you not take the fucking garbage out, but now you're going to die off early and leave me yo do it myself when I'm an old woman? Fucking asshole. My mother was right about you.

 

[GenesisNemesis]

What percentage of those deaths consist of suicides?

 

[Underseer]

Uh, link?

 

[NobleSavage]

Oops. Forgot the link. Adding now.

 

[Bronzeage]

People who are frequently nagged and put upon by family and friends are more likely to die during middle age – and men are most at risk.

Individuals who regularly experience stress in their relationships with their partner, children, family, friends or neighbours are two to three times more likely to die prematurely, according to new research.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...to-an-early-grave-study-suggests-9342164.html


I knew it all along!

I think it's one of those no man is an island situation. I've known lots of men and women who lived in nagging situations. When I observed, the naggee was a passive aggressive type who never agreed or disagreed to do what was requested. It just never got done. The pattern starts early in the relationship. The nagger thinks saying something twice is twice as effective and the naggee gets an evil satisfaction out of simply not complying.

If anything leads to early mortality, it's probably because the man deals with everything in his life in a similar fashion and actually dies of frustration.

 

[braces_for_impact]

I believe it.

 

[skepticalbip]

I believe it.

The surprise in that story is to learn that they celebrate Christmas in China to include elaborate decorations in shopping malls. I didn't know that there were many Christians in China.

 

[Togo]

I think it's one of those no man is an island situation. I've known lots of men and women who lived in nagging situations.

I'm going to guess that you've never been in one yourself though...

When I observed, the naggee was a passive aggressive type who never agreed or disagreed to do what was requested. It just never got done.

How else can you deal with constant nagging other than by ignoring it? Turn every interaction into an argument?

The pattern starts early in the relationship. The nagger thinks saying something twice is twice as effective and the naggee gets an evil satisfaction out of simply not complying.

If they're only saying it twice, it's not nagging.

I've seen some fairly serious cases of nagging. It can involve depriving the other person of sleep, or social contact, or trying to humiliate them in public. Victims may develop psychological symptoms including stuttering, insomnia, or minor associative disorders, just as with any other form of bullying.

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

So do wife beaters live longer?

 

[Tom Sawyer]

So do wife beaters live longer?

Well, slapping a woman around does count as a cardio activity, so it should help.

 

[Shadowy Man]

What percentage of those deaths consist of suicides?

This is from their abstract (http://jech.bmj.com/content/early/2014/04/02/jech-2013-203675.short):

We used baseline data (2000) from The Danish Longitudinal Study on Work, Unemployment and Health, including 9875 men and women aged 36–52 years, linked to the Danish Cause of Death Registry for information on all-cause mortality until 31 December 2011. Associations between stressful social relations with partner, children, other family, friends and neighbours, respectively, and all-cause mortality were examined using Cox proportional hazards models adjusted for age, gender, cohabitation status, occupational social class, hospitalisation with chronic disorder 1980–baseline, depressive symptoms and perceived emotional support. Modification by gender and labour force participation was investigated by an additive hazards model.

So, it looks like they made no discrimination amongst causes of death. I can't access the paper to get at the numbers though.

 

[Bronzeage]

I'm going to guess that you've never been in one yourself though...

When I observed, the naggee was a passive aggressive type who never agreed or disagreed to do what was requested. It just never got done.

How else can you deal with constant nagging other than by ignoring it? Turn every interaction into an argument?

The pattern starts early in the relationship. The nagger thinks saying something twice is twice as effective and the naggee gets an evil satisfaction out of simply not complying.

If they're only saying it twice, it's not nagging.

I've seen some fairly serious cases of nagging. It can involve depriving the other person of sleep, or social contact, or trying to humiliate them in public. Victims may develop psychological symptoms including stuttering, insomnia, or minor associative disorders, just as with any other form of bullying.

I've been married three times. There were times when my second wife really wanted to nag and she gave it a good try, but I'm not the type to endure that sort of thing.

 

[Tigers!]

My father-in-law has made it to 76 and 50 years of marriage. Don't know how.
I'm glad my wife doesn't take after her mother (much)

Reminds me of the comment that married men die before their wives because they want to.

I hope my wife doesn't inhabit these fora

- - - Updated - - -

What took him so long? I admire his fortitude.

 

[doubtingt]

Some of this relation is likely due to the fact that men who do lots of stupid and unhealthy things that wind up killing them are told more often by the people in their lives that they are doing stupid and unhealthy things. Don't get me wrong, needless nagging exists and I have no doubt it causes harmful stress and anger in the nagged, but doing things that could harm you is more likely to get you nagged at.

 

[Petrel]

Quibble here:
In the quote, it says "people" who are nagged and put-upon. In the thread title, it says "men".
Is this meant to foster the popular delusion that all nagging is done by women, to men; that men never nag and women never suffer from stress in their relationships?
Men are most at risk of heart attack anyway, due to a cluster of physical, psychological and social factors.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Quibble here:
In the quote, it says "people" who are nagged and put-upon. In the thread title, it says "men".
Is this meant to foster the popular delusion that all nagging is done by women, to men; that men never nag and women never suffer from stress in their relationships?

Well, given this post, I'd venture that it's safe to say that men can nag quite well.

 

[Perspicuo]

I believe it.

The surprise in that story is to learn that they celebrate Christmas in China to include elaborate decorations in shopping malls. I didn't know that there were many Christians in China.

Christmas being as Christian as the flying deer of Odin Claus, people around the world celebrate it for the fun and partying. Even most Christians, who are to a large degree nominal anyway.

 

[doubtingt]

Quibble here:
In the quote, it says "people" who are nagged and put-upon. In the thread title, it says "men".
Is this meant to foster the popular delusion that all nagging is done by women, to men; that men never nag and women never suffer from stress in their relationships?
Men are most at risk of heart attack anyway, due to a cluster of physical, psychological and social factors.

Looking at the actual research article (you need paid access), it looks like the effect was more notable for men. Women were only impacted by high number of "conflicts with" their partner, whereas men were impacted both by "conflicts with" and "demands" by their partner. The "demands by" seems to be what the media article is calling "nagging". While this might be an operationalization of nagging, the problem is that the "demands" question was double-barreled, meaning it made the classic error of asking two separate questions combined by an "or" conjunction within one survey item. The actual question asked was, "In your everyday life, do you experience that any of the following people demand too much of you or seriously worry you?". Note the underlined part. A person who is never nagged by is always worried about their partner (and maybe is always nagging the partner about their worries) could give high rating to this question. Thus, the results cannot tell us anything about nagging per se, even if we accept "demand too much of you" as a form of nagging.

 

[nightwyrm]

I believe it.

The surprise in that story is to learn that they celebrate Christmas in China to include elaborate decorations in shopping malls. I didn't know that there were many Christians in China.

Christmas in most East Asian countries such as China and Japan is completely secular. The focus is on Santa Claus, buying/giving shit and having a good western meal. Walking around in a fully packed mall on Christmas Day is somewhat of a strange experience.