Not resentment so much as that she just got a small taste of freedom and now it's starting over again, a bit annoyed/fearful maybe. She's one of the on the fence women. She was absolutely thrilled about our first, but she's not the I want 6 kids type. Two has been our plan for a while (she actually wanted three), but now that it's a reality we actually have to face it.
I think one of her issues is perfectionism, she feels like she has to be perfect, turbo mom 100% of the time, and she beats herself up and gets imposter syndrome over every mistake. I used to have a bit of that, but have more or less taught myself to relax and enjoy the ride. So it seems she's a bit more stressed than I am.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! And I totally understand what your wife is feeling/going through. Having a second child is much easier in many ways but also harder in some unexpected ways. You have better handle on what having a child entails which is good and bad. And in some small ways, you feel like maybe you are taking something away from #1 by making them 1 of 2. Somehow, you adjust anyway.
BUT:
Cough cough: there's nothing quite like having a second child to knock all illusions of perfect motherhood right out of you. At least in my experience.
For us, our first child was extremely easy, which was fortunate because we were idiots. Idiotic enough to believe that our first was an easy child because (get this) we were such good parents. Nope: he just made us look good. The second child was much harder: colic, didn't sleep much, very clingy as a young child, lots of ear infections. Kid turned out to be super smart and a delightful child and person but the first year was not easy, in part because of the lack of sleep/colic and also because hubby's schedule was absolutely killer and because, as it happened, friends who were our major support circle moved out of our neighborhood and further away, making that all more difficult. And then we moved, as well to an entirely new area.
But that is no guarantee or even reasonable predictor that your second child will not be a terrifically easy delight. I do know that I was a very easy infant and toddler. My parents (i.e. mother) started to see me as more problematic when it turned out that I was not a carbon copy of my older sibling and (you might find this surprising) had my own ideas. That came later, though. Even though I was seen as a rebel, I was the kind of rebel who never broke curfew, rarely talked back, got perfect grades and was a neighborhood favorite. Still rarely isn't never, though, is it? My older sibling was a never talked back kid. Impossible to live up to that.
But honestly, we laugh now about #2's infancy and toddlerhood. Out of 4 kids, that one was the only one that was not a very easy child, sleeping and eating well and on schedule, easily socialized with other kids/adults, yadda yadda yadda. I do think that part of the struggles with #2 in the early years is because otherwise, our life was pretty stressful for a couple of years, one of which saw us moving half way across the country (and me looking for a place to live with a one year old and a 4 year old in tow, in a city I'd never been, with no car, relying on the kindness of the sister of a dear friend who lived in the area. Fun times. Thank god I was so young. If I tried it now, it would kill me.). He was easier at one than as a younger child, and easier at 2 than at 1 and easier at 3 than at 2 and so on, each year becoming easier, even as other children were added to the mix.
Two of ours were just about 2 years apart and they were either best buddies or direst of enemies, switching daily and sometimes multiple times a day. Now, all of my children remain good friends, for which I am extremely grateful.
Just remember: being a perfect parent implies that your children are perfect. That's a hell of a lot of pressure to put on a kid. Or yourself but most mothers find it easier to recognize when something is unfair to their kids than unfair to themselves.
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