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The incel issue

I saw my future walk into a crowded restaurant, where I was drinking alone at the bar. I was feeling sorry for myself, being a number of hours or days into a pause in “stands”.
I saw her and thought to myself, “THAT should be my girlfriend!” Actually subvocalized that thought, which I don’t usually do.
She was with a gaggle, including a few people I knew somewhat from the music industry. That gave sufficient excuse to get up and go “say hi”. Which I did, but ran out of bravery before introducing myself to those I didn’t know, including the future Mrs Elixir.
I did see her again one time, seated with the owner of a nightclub and the “SO”s of the band. I sat with them for a bit trying to figure it out … unsuccessfully.
A month or few later, I agreed to let a couple of musicians record a short set - maybe 6 original songs - in my studio. They told me they were bringing in a drummer who had been on some charting tracks, and a producer who had worked for the Pointer Sisters, Quincy Jones and others. I was frankly impressed, and well out of my league as far as engineering and production. The drummer came in with his own recording engineer, and played all the Songs’ percussion parts with no accompaniment, just reading charts written by the two guys. Got that done in a couple of days and he flew back to LA. The producer showed up and started working with the two songwriter/players layering bass, guitars, vocals.
Early on I was challenged, when the producer brought his wife with him. It was Mrs E.
Over a proof of weeks I would find her in my house or sunbathing on the deck right outside the kitchen window (!@&#*^%!!!) while her husband worked in the studio. There was time for cautious interaction and a superficial familiarity to develop, and I worked on ‘letting it go’.
To me it was a bolt out of the blue when she called me up one day after the project was over*, and asked me to take her out.

The rest is tumultuous history

* they entered two of the tracks in the Boulder Music Contest and got first and third out of over 150 recordings, so that worked out
 
I was thinking "dating app", not "catalogue". The problem is that is becoming a major part of dating.

A significant chunk of dating app use is done by non-serious people trying to get laid, where appearance is going to factor in differently.

For those who are serious about finding a long term relationship there are more serious apps, where I imagine people are given more careful consideration.

But yes if you're not the ideal type it's reasonable to expect it to be a little harder under any scenario.
My impression of dating apps (never used one as I've been married since before the internet) is that they are pretty much only useful for getting laid. Match has bought up almost every other dating app out there and remade them in it's mold. Someone just looking to get laid will keep coming back for more, someone looking for a relationship isn't a very good customer because success leaves them not coming back for more.
I know more than one married couple who met via a dating app.
The problem is they have changed. Now they're hookup apps.
 
I was thinking "dating app", not "catalogue". The problem is that is becoming a major part of dating.

A significant chunk of dating app use is done by non-serious people trying to get laid, where appearance is going to factor in differently.

For those who are serious about finding a long term relationship there are more serious apps, where I imagine people are given more careful consideration.

But yes if you're not the ideal type it's reasonable to expect it to be a little harder under any scenario.
My impression of dating apps (never used one as I've been married since before the internet) is that they are pretty much only useful for getting laid. Match has bought up almost every other dating app out there and remade them in it's mold. Someone just looking to get laid will keep coming back for more, someone looking for a relationship isn't a very good customer because success leaves them not coming back for more.
I know more than one married couple who met via a dating app.
The problem is they have changed. Now they're hookup apps.
Maybe but the couple I’m thinking of is my kids’ friend..
 
I know more than one married couple who met via a dating app.
The problem is they have changed. Now they're hookup apps.
Well eharmony at least says it is about finding a "great relationship". It is about compatibility. My sister dated three successful Christian men she found on it for a while (but two didn't fit her exact kind of Christianity). She is now happily married to one.
 
I know a woman who met her intended fiancé on a dating site for older adults, but both of them were antivaxxers who didn't take COVID seriously. They were also both over 70 with some other risk factors. Sadly, he died of COVID about 2 months before their planned wedding and she ended up in the hospital with COVID and still has some long haul issues. We were never close friends, but it was so stupid to run around without masks and refuse to be vaccinated, especially during the first year of COVID. Plus, she was an RN.

She had met a few other men on the site, but according to her they just wanted sex. NO matter their age, men are often looking for a one night stand.
 
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