When I was younger, I was a bit MRA-ish. Heck, MRAs are right about some, very specific and very rare things.
I think the biggest tragedy of Inceldom is that it has captured a large number of self-closeted gays. I could care less about the quantity of gay men in the world but the toxic worldview of Inceldom does harm not only the gay "incels", but women, and men, and even eunuchs and stranger things still. It's a spider's web made of ideas to catch and consume minds, and do what any entity that survives must seek: to exist.
And I will, indeed, fault inceldom for merely existing.
I'm not a pacifist, for all that I loath violence.
Maybe there is a variety of Inceldom that does not step on rights, but as Nazis are to Jews, Inceldom seems to Women/eunuchs/* and fairly hostile even towards most men.
Demanding as a man that someone who looks some specific way pay attention to you and accusing them of being wrong for doing anything they want within consent, can fuck off.
There are women who have very smooth curves, looking bodies who are very kind and thoughtful people who live their best life as prostitutes, and it doesn't matter what you look like, these people often make the majority of their money just talking to people.
Not even these women will generally want to take money from someone who will spend all their time talking about how none of the women they want to love them will love someone who spends all their time talking about how those women are impure and objectifying them behind their back. The women who want you to objectify them generally want that after the conversation about safe words and context and an assumption of role.
Incels, rather, suffer from a lack of education and/or interest in consent.
People can decide to say words in their heads to themselves. Well, most of us can. Some of us need to do things like writing things down on a note pad or even a forum post in the middle of the afternoon for them to really come around. Sometimes it has to be heard from the sound of your voice. You can talk to yourself all sorts of ways, but you can talk to yourself. Some people can talk to themselves in ways far more information-dense than spoken language, though that's more a thing largely discussed in spiritual terms.
These men need to talk to themselves and say the words in whatever language "everyone can and should make their own decisions about who to spend their time with and that's their right. I should accept the way people want to spend time with me and understand what it means to be a friend rather than a lover."
If possible, they need to mix it with whatever way of speaking to themselves might induct the emotional verbs "acceptance", "humility", and "shame" into the mix at particular levels.
It would be nice if BOTH men and women would be less shallow. Then again I'm shallow in a way too: I love novelty. Honestly it turns me on a bit. Outliers are just the most interesting. How did they get like this? What is the scientific mechanism? And who is it inside; what is the nature of the the diffuse existence of a weighted graph structure dancing around as a construction of meat? What became of that glorious mess?
What do they believe and what can they? Can they dare to not believe something they once did? Can they dare to understand something rather than counting on believing it?
How far can I open up new paths for people?
How far can I help someone along on their own path?
But these incels don't think that way. In some ways, I guess, it's kind of nice that the gays don't have to claim them. Honestly, I pity them. They lack critical thinking skills, and perhaps they largely lack that power to inject emotional inflection at the rest of themselves and frankly I don't think it's worth it for someone who can't make themselves admit that they're people, women are people, men are people, and all are people before any of those other things.
Or probably people. Usually I give the benefit of the doubt, but with Incels it's kinda hard to tell.
