• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

The Laws of Rock and Roll

WAB

WAB

Veteran Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2004
Messages
4,283
Location
Hyperboria
Basic Beliefs
n/a
Apparently there are two primary laws in rock and roll music:

  • First, one must give all of one's love, not merely part, or most of it.
  • Second, one must party (or rock, the terms mean the same thing) all night long, and not only for a few hours, or several hours, but all night, which one would assume means until daybreak, at which point the partying (or rocking) stops. Of course there are the radicals, such as Ray Davies from the Kinks, who wants to be with his love all day as well as all of the night, but this pertains to loving, not partying, or rocking, although it could be argued that loving is integral and essential to partying and/or rocking.
  • Thirdly, when driving fast, one generally does not exceed 80 mph, as attested to by Eddy Money and 38 Special. Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull has his antihero's motorbike up to ('around') 120, but as this was a motorbike and not a car, it doesn't obtrude on the 80 mph law.

Can anyone add to this list of rock and roll laws?
 
It should be noted that Joe Walsh claims his Maserati does 185; however, as said rocker has lost his license, he no longer drives, so this does not seem to adversely affect the 80 mph law.

The notable red rocker, Sammy Hagar, claims that he cannot drive 55; however, he does not stipulate any particular speed exeeding the aforementioned 80.
 
Arrr, the rules be more like guidelines. Bill Haley rocked around the clock, ending his rock session at 12. Whether this was midnight or noon it makes it impossible to comply with the "all night long" clause.

If there is one single foundational law that applies throughout the gamut of rock and roll, however, it would be that one is never under any circumstances to step on another's blue suede shoes.
 
... and that being the case it is believed that Robert Plant may have singlehandedly wailed the name of every female born between 1955 and 1969.
 
It should be noted that Ian Anderson is British, and thus has a tendency to think in terms of kilometers rather than miles. Therefore it would be safe to assume that the motorbike's vaunted speed of 'around 120' refers to 120 kilometers per hour, or approx. 75 MPH, thus remaining well within the Rock 'n' Roll guidelines for rapid vehicular movement.
 
Davka said:
It should be noted that Ian Anderson is British, and thus has a tendency to think in terms of kilometers rather than miles. Therefore it would be safe to assume that the motorbike's vaunted speed of 'around 120' refers to 120 kilometers per hour, or approx. 75 MPH, thus remaining well within the Rock 'n' Roll guidelines for rapid vehicular movement.
Click to expand...
What? British now use km?
I'm that old?
 
dx713 said:
Davka said:
It should be noted that Ian Anderson is British, and thus has a tendency to think in terms of kilometers rather than miles. Therefore it would be safe to assume that the motorbike's vaunted speed of 'around 120' refers to 120 kilometers per hour, or approx. 75 MPH, thus remaining well within the Rock 'n' Roll guidelines for rapid vehicular movement.
Click to expand...
What? British now use km?
I'm that old?
Click to expand...
Legally they do. In real life? ...
 
James Brown said:
All women answer to 'Baby.'
Click to expand...

I believe the correct pronunciation is "babeh".

Which should always be followed by "You drive me crazeh."

- - - Updated - - -

Davka said:
It should be noted that Ian Anderson is British, and thus has a tendency to think in terms of kilometers rather than miles. Therefore it would be safe to assume that the motorbike's vaunted speed of 'around 120' refers to 120 kilometers per hour, or approx. 75 MPH, thus remaining well within the Rock 'n' Roll guidelines for rapid vehicular movement.
Click to expand...

Thanks for that, Davka. I always wondered about that.
 
Atheos said:
Arrr, the rules be more like guidelines. Bill Haley rocked around the clock, ending his rock session at 12. Whether this was midnight or noon it makes it impossible to comply with the "all night long" clause.

If there is one single foundational law that applies throughout the gamut of rock and roll, however, it would be that one is never under any circumstances to step on another's blue suede shoes.
Click to expand...

I would theorize that in that song we are encouraged to rock from about 6pm to 6am, going one time around the clock, from sunset to sunrise, or: "Till broad daylight", as Mr. Haley dictates. After all, he does say "We're gonna rock around the clock tonight", not "We're gonna rock around the clock today and tonight," which would mess up the meter and be difficult to sing, especially while rocking.

Then again, as you say, he ends the rocking period at twelve. Perhaps it's an artsy-fartsy thing. Kurt Vonnegut often wrote in a non linear fashion. Maybe Bill did the counting formally from one to twelve for the sake of the song, but it's to be understood that the rocking occurred during the evening hours, hence "tonight."

:p
 
Bah! My whole theory is in the bin.

I forgot that Kiss, those megafamous rockers, declared quite vehemently that they wanted to rock and roll all night, and party every day, which causes all sorts of problems. First, it kills the "all night long" law; second, it suggests that there is some distinction between partying and rocking. Paul Stanley quite plainly states, many many times during the song, that he wants to rock and roll all night, and party every day. Clearly, partying and rocking cannot be the same thing, since the hairy-chested master has stridently declared that he prefers the evening time for rocking and the daytime for partying.

Much to be learned...so little time...:confused:
 
Mageth said:
Folks, you're all making a simple thing much too complex. It's only rock and roll, after all. That said, I do like rock and roll. Yes, yes, I like it, yes I do.
Click to expand...

Well, I assume all our tongues are planted firmly in our cheeks.

*Not those ones, the other ones! Sheeeeeesh, ya dirty birds ya! ;)
 
Last edited:
Davka said:
dx713 said:
What? British now use km?
I'm that old?
Click to expand...
Legally they do. In real life? ...
Click to expand...

They were still using miles on all of their road signs (both for distances and speed limits) when I was there in August. I had to reset my Satnav to miles so I didn't get distracted by mental arithmetic instead of watching the road. I wasn't aware that they had changed in the last three months.
 
Atheos said:
Arrr, the rules be more like guidelines. Bill Haley rocked around the clock, ending his rock session at 12. Whether this was midnight or noon it makes it impossible to comply with the "all night long" clause.

If there is one single foundational law that applies throughout the gamut of rock and roll, however, it would be that one is never under any circumstances to step on another's blue suede shoes.
Click to expand...

It's just a technicality. After midnight, you have to rock all morning long.
 
I think, rather, that one is encouraged to let it all hang out, after midnight, not hang 'down'. Things hanging down seem contrary to Rockness. Unless those things be boobies.

***Nope, you're correct. Mr. Clapton does say hang 'down'. Damn, all these years I thought he was saying 'hang out'.

Ozzy thought Jimi Hendrix sang, "Scuse me, while I kiss this guy..."

Later, many people thought Ozzy sang, "I tell you to end your life...", when in fact he sang, "enJOY" life..."

Ears... :rolleyesa:
 
Last edited:
Bronzeage said:
Atheos said:
Arrr, the rules be more like guidelines. Bill Haley rocked around the clock, ending his rock session at 12. Whether this was midnight or noon it makes it impossible to comply with the "all night long" clause.

If there is one single foundational law that applies throughout the gamut of rock and roll, however, it would be that one is never under any circumstances to step on another's blue suede shoes.
Click to expand...

It's just a technicality. After midnight, you have to rock all morning long.
Click to expand...

True. But it's customary to say we're going to rock all *night* long...excuse me... all nite long, rather than all morning; just as we commonly say the sun rises when in fact it doesn't.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom