• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

Things that make you laugh...

I teach an overview of Strategic Weapons to put the fire cintrol system we build in context. Let engineers underdtand why certain circuits have extra paperwork (SUBSAFE or Nuclear Safety Rules), how our equipment impacts ship operations, history of Sub Launched Missiles, why new procedures need to be fully approved seven months before they go into effec, etc.
And answer questions, discuss their projects in detail, talk about life on the subs, what it's like to launch (feels like a high-speed elevator stopping on the top floor).
One guy ask, "How did you learn all these details? Signals, and values, and day length in seconds, and rules, and criteria, and definitions? How did all this information get into your head?"
"Did you miss my intro? Where i introduced myself and said i have been doing this job, more or less, for forty one years?"

long silence. "Oh. I thought you said four...."
 
Keith&Co. said:
I teach an overview of Strategic Weapons to put the fire cintrol system we build in context. Let engineers underdtand why certain circuits have extra paperwork (SUBSAFE or Nuclear Safety Rules), how our equipment impacts ship operations, history of Sub Launched Missiles, why new procedures need to be fully approved seven months before they go into effec, etc.
And answer questions, discuss their projects in detail, talk about life on the subs, what it's like to launch (feels like a high-speed elevator stopping on the top floor).
One guy ask, "How did you learn all these details? Signals, and values, and day length in seconds, and rules, and criteria, and definitions? How did all this information get into your head?"
"Did you miss my intro? Where i introduced myself and said i have been doing this job, more or less, for forty one years?"

long silence. "Oh. I thought you said four...."
Click to expand...
har har all that poop and it turns out if you don't flip the switch on a life extinction event your poking when you should'a been stroking....
 
I was late to the last department meeting. So i did not know there was a plan in place.
Our Manager was surface Navy, one of two people in the plant from that part of the branch. He's constantly comparing Surface and Sub Navy.
Yesterday, my Lead asked, 'Hey, Bill? What did the Fleet call it, end of the day, when work ended?'
'What? You mean liberty call?'
I signed off. It's an old, old joke. Boss says 'liberty,' you make a dash for the exits. I think my way was unique, but i did grt two days out of it....

I guess everyone left, except our Supervisor. Bill was alone with her. I am told he said, 'Your guys are smartasses.'
She replied, 'Better a smartass than a dumbass.'
'Are you calling me a dumbass?'
'I dunno, Bill, it's 9 o'clock in the morning and you just put down liberty. What would you call you?!'
 
257555739_10159658148679872_8739475258587386264_n.jpg
 
So, i, um, i had a dream.
I attended the Sex Ollympics.


....I was a line judge.

Is it technically a 'wet dream' if everyone else* in the dream achieves satisfaction except you?

*And i mean everyone else. Contestants, referees, announcers, people in the stands, cameramen, translators... A text from my sister, watching ESexPN at home...
 
Thinking about Discworld, and the animals of the place.
Figure they would have their examples of megafauna...really big examples of lifeforms. Mostly they'd match our examples.r

Being as there are supernatural elements to Discworld, they might have gigafauna. Supernaturally big animals like the roc or the kraken, which prey on megafauna.

I wonder, though, if the animals holding up the world would classify as terafauna...?

ETA: just asked tallest son this question. He's threatening not to cook tonight. "You want dinner? Cause that's how you don't get dinner!"
 
Keith&Co. said:
Thinking about Discworld, and the animals of the place.
Figure they would have their examples of megafauna...really big examples of lifeforms. Mostly they'd match our examples.r

Being as there are supernatural elements to Discworld, they might have gigafauna. Supernaturally big animals like the roc or the kraken, which prey on megafauna.

I wonder, though, if the animals holding up the world would classify as terafauna...?

ETA: just asked tallest son this question. He's threatening not to cook tonight. "You want dinner? Cause that's how you don't get dinner!"
Click to expand...

You're looking for something bigger than A'Tuin?
 
Wiploc said:
Keith&Co. said:
Thinking about Discworld, and the animals of the place.
Figure they would have their examples of megafauna...really big examples of lifeforms. Mostly they'd match our examples.r

Being as there are supernatural elements to Discworld, they might have gigafauna. Supernaturally big animals like the roc or the kraken, which prey on megafauna.

I wonder, though, if the animals holding up the world would classify as terafauna...?

ETA: just asked tallest son this question. He's threatening not to cook tonight. "You want dinner? Cause that's how you don't get dinner!"
Click to expand...

You're looking for something bigger than A'Tuin?
Click to expand...
Um, no i'm punning.
 
Made a sarcastic comment at work the other day. I don't remember exactly, something about our tax dollars at work? The new budget must have been approved? I dunno, something about wasting money on some silly shit...
Just learned (thru gossip that reached my wife) that someone took it as a threat. Reported me to the manager.
He was explaining the context, and why my comment counted as a threat.
Boss interrupted him. "This is Keith. If he was threatening you, the threat would be clear. You wouldn't have to explain it. You might not know all the adjectives, but the threat would be explicit. It wasn't a threat."
 
Keith&Co. said:
Made a sarcastic comment at work the other day. I don't remember exactly, something about our tax dollars at work? The new budget must have been approved? I dunno, something about wasting money on some silly shit...
Just learned (thru gossip that reached my wife) that someone took it as a threat. Reported me to the manager.
He was explaining the context, and why my comment counted as a threat.
Boss interrupted him. "This is Keith. If he was threatening you, the threat would be clear. You wouldn't have to explain it. You might not know all the adjectives, but the threat would be explicit. It wasn't a threat."
Click to expand...

What a great boss.
 
Ran across a commencement speech a couple days ago. Some admiral's advice to the graduates was...make your bed.
Get up, start the day by completing a task. You'll enjoy the feeling of completing that task. It will inspire you to complete the next task. It will lead to a chain of completing tasks and feeling good. He assured them of this.
I got up this morning, looked at the covers...and thought, mentally telling an admiral to fuck off will do SO much more for my attitude.
And it HAS!!!
 
Making beds is stupid. You can do that later. Plus, Mrs Elixir wouldn’t be pleased since she’s still trying to sleep.

I begin every day by making coffee and feeding my animals.
They appreciate it.
 
Had breakfast at Wendy's [American burger chain, aimed at a more adult demographic when McDonald's cornered the 'Happy Meal' market]. They had...difficulties with our order.
There was a delay, dordeso we parked to the side. The girl running delayed orders didnt actually know which car got which order, tried to give us a variety (were you the four sandwiches and a potato? No, as i said last time, we are ...) and gave us the wrong order at the end.
Drove back to the window, pointedout we ordered absolutely no sausages, eventually got a lot closer to our order and gave ip complaining. I had chicken and bacon. It was a biscuit, not a croissant, but my blood sugar was getting bad, so we just said, 'close enough.'

As we ate, i realized we never yelled, never demanded anything more than we contracted for, were pretty patient, polite, and even found extra coins to pay because the sign said they were out of pennies.

Which probably means no one ever talks to their therapist, wife, boyfriend, or dog about us. No, 'Man, this one couple i got, today? Sheesh!'
We're probably no one's FAVE customers, but we don't leave scar tissue, either. These dsys, thsst may be heroic....
 
From what you tell us, Keith, many, many people are likely to have permanent slots with their therapists on your account. It's just that it is to settle confusion and abrupt changes in worldview rather than abuse trauma.

:)
 
PS Stop eating junk food for breakfast. It's a fairly well documented way to kill yourself. You're already a diabetic.
 
Keith&Co. said:
Thinking about Discworld, and the animals of the place.
Figure they would have their examples of megafauna...really big examples of lifeforms. Mostly they'd match our examples.r

Being as there are supernatural elements to Discworld, they might have gigafauna. Supernaturally big animals like the roc or the kraken, which prey on megafauna.

I wonder, though, if the animals holding up the world would classify as terafauna...?

ETA: just asked tallest son this question. He's threatening not to cook tonight. "You want dinner? Cause that's how you don't get dinner!"
Click to expand...
Discworld is about 10,000 miles wide, or 16,000 kilometers. The art depicting the Discworld doesn't seem consistent as to the size of the elephants, but let's say they're at least 1/10th the diameter of the disc.

An African elephant is about 4 meters long. That means the discworld elephants, if their body density is about the same as a real elephant's, weigh roughly 64*10e15 times that of a regular elephant. So technically they should be categorized as zettafauna.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom