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Things that make you laugh...

Boss interrupted him. "This is Keith. If he was threatening you, the threat would be clear. You wouldn't have to explain it. You might not know all the adjectives, but the threat would be explicit. It wasn't a threat."
Reminds me of a similar situation. There was a harassment claim at my work, strangely also towards a Keith. Middle aged, closer to 60 than 50. I walking in halfway through the complaint and what the boss said to complainee about that Keith applies to you.

Boss said to complainee, "We're talking about Keith here mate. The bastard doesn't make threats. He's just letting you know why you're going to feel sorry for yourself tomorrow."
 
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So, like me, a coworker at my MASSACHUSETTS company lives in MASS, has a MASS address, MASS area code.
Someone calls his grandmother. Seattle area code.
Says he's CoWorker.
Has been arrested for speeding in Pennsylvania. And Drinking/driving.
Needs $10,000 bail money. Wired to his account in a Texas bank.
'Mike, why do you have a Texas bank account? You were never in Texas?'
'Oh, that's my lawyer's account. For the bail. To get out of jail. In Pennsylvania.'
Grandma agrees to send himntge money.
But first, she calls her son, CW's dad, and lights him up, about what a disappointing ne'er do well Mike is, what with the drinking, divorce, speeding, jail, and demanding money from an old woman on a fixed income....
Dad has to explain it's a scam.
"Why am i sure? Well, if nothing else, Mike is on a business trip right now, and if he fucked up that badly, he'd be in a Scottish jail."
 
I guess some tampon company used to put empowering affirmations on the wrappers?
A coworker couldn't find any of those but surfed the internet for empowering slogans for today's woman. And repeated these to his wife when she was in labor.
"Breathe with me, Snookums. And remember. You're a strong, powerful woman who doesn't need a man to validate you."

She suggested that maybe what he wanted to do was go out to the car, get the tire iron, and fuck himself in the parking lot!!!
He's pretty sure they could have ten more kids and he'll never be invited into the delivery room again.
I'm not that sure he's going to have any more kids.
 
It's been months since I bought the book, "How to Scam People Online" and it still hasn't arrived.
 
My wife got done taking some meat off the bones and put the bones aside to go in soup. Was I right to say she's quacked?

(It was a soy sauce roast duck.)
 
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