Things that make you laugh...

[bilby]

I have often wondered why the hell any business or government agency would have any non-essential workers.

They usually mean non-urgent workers.

There's a significant but often misunderstood difference between 'urgent' and 'important'.

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

 

[Elixir]

 

[ZiprHead]

‘Anti-5G’ necklaces are radioactive and dangerous, Dutch nuclear experts say

Officials issue product alert and say ‘quantum pendants’ could damage DNA with prolonged use

www.theguardian.com

 

[Elixir]

‘Anti-5G’ necklaces are radioactive and dangerous, Dutch nuclear experts say

Officials issue product alert and say ‘quantum pendants’ could damage DNA with prolonged use

www.theguardian.com

Meh, that’s nothing that a UV light up the butt and a couple shots of Chlorox won’t cure.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Two days before xmas.
No snow on the ground.
No snow falling.
But it is 12 degrees outside, so it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this.

 

[ZiprHead]

Two days before xmas.
No snow on the ground.
No snow falling.
But it is 12 degrees outside, so it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this.

Got few inches of snow today. The main road out to the shopping area west of the city was a skating rink. An SUV with Iowa plates passed me on the right and came up behind a slower car and almost smacked into it because the brakes were pretty much ineffective. I knew when they passed they were going too fast.

26 degrees here. Tomorrow it's supposed to be in the low forties and rainy. Should get rid of the little bit of snow we have.

The older I get the less I like winter. Early December I was really dreading it.

 

[Gospel]

How Jamaicans turned something as trivial as blouse and skirts into a swear word.

​

Edit: That one was hard to explain to my white friends while they were high on weed. They couldn't stop laughing long enough to know how serious I was about not saying that around my mother.

Note: My mom used to wear a blouse and skirt for work so I knew they might say "That's a very nice blouse and skirt" or some dumb shit like that.

 

[Gospel]

Keith, it was hella funny to me. No reason to be sad.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Keith, it was hella funny to me. No reason to be sad.

Confused.


No idea what you are talking about.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Um....


Okay, see, Cassandra was RIGHT!
The doom she forecast came fucking true. There were Greeks inside that statued stallion.
And the people who mocked and insulted Cassandra DIED.
Raped, tortured, city destroyed, economy ruined, women enslaved, chariots double parked, dogs and cats living together.

In this metaphor, children three thousand years from now will read about 'the common sense of the British People' and say, rather indignantly, 'Well, _I_ would have believed the scientists' and 'Duh.' Or whatever takes the place of 'duh' by that time.

 

[Gospel]

Keith, it was hella funny to me. No reason to be sad.

Confused.


No idea what you are talking about.

No worries friend.

Blouse an skirts | Patois Definition on Jamaican Patwah

Blouse an skirts definition, pronunciation, and example sentences on Jamaican Patwah. | Blouse an skirts - Slang word, normally use when one is surprise

jamaicanpatwah.com

My mother was (and still is) a devout Jehovah's Witness. As such, any swearing however mild was unacceptable to her. She wore a blouse and skirt to work as she was an office worker at the time I lived under her roof. I had a lot of white friends that smoked weed (awesome people) and me being overly cautious because my mother was so strict, advised them not to compliment her on her outfits (it happened before) using the words blouse and skirt in that sequence.

It was very funny to me when it happened (my mom kicked my friends out of the house over it once) so wanted to share that on this thread about stuff that makes me laugh. Which is how blouse and skirt is a swear word in Jamaican.

To my mother, it was like saying holy shit.

 

[Keith&Co.]

To my mother, it was like saying holy shit.

Ah. Thanks.

Well, i guess "used when one is surprise" is not ...inaccurate.

Just seems like those two guys in Airplane. Or my theory about "200 words for snow."

I suspect an Eskimo looked out the window, said, <"Fuck! Not AGAIN?!"> in Inuit. The anthropologist asked his guide, "What did he say?"
The guide said, "he says it's snowing."
"Ah. But i thought that was <"There goes the fucking weekend!">
"It's, uh, a dfferent kind of snow."

 

[Thomas II]

Two days before xmas.
No snow on the ground.
No snow falling.
But it is 12 degrees outside, so it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this.

No snow, but for some reason, 5 shoes on the road...

 

[Patooka]

Two days before xmas.
No snow on the ground.
No snow falling.
But it is 12 degrees outside, so it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this.

I feel for you. But snide jokes aside, you're just disappointed you haven't used the halberd yet this year, aren't you?

Yeah...all things being equal I honestly sympathise. The one time of the year you can legitimately go medieval on your gutters and the fucking weather isn't cooperating.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Two days before xmas.
No snow on the ground.
No snow falling.
But it is 12 degrees outside, so it's beginning to look a lot like fuck this.

I feel for you. But snide jokes aside, you're just disappointed you haven't used the halberd yet this year, aren't you?

Yeah...all things being equal I honestly sympathise. The one time of the year you can legitimately go medieval on your gutters and the fucking weather isn't cooperating.

Wow, it's like you read my mind.

 

[James Brown]

Um....
View attachment 36469

Okay, see, Cassandra was RIGHT!
The doom she forecast came fucking true. There were Greeks inside that statued stallion.
And the people who mocked and insulted Cassandra DIED.
Raped, tortured, city destroyed, economy ruined, women enslaved, chariots double parked, dogs and cats living together.

In this metaphor, children three thousand years from now will read about 'the common sense of the British People' and say, rather indignantly, 'Well, _I_ would have believed the scientists' and 'Duh.' Or whatever takes the place of 'duh' by that time.

It's interesting, isn't it? Conservatives tell me that blue-collar workers have only themselves to blame for their poor financial prospects, because they didn't stay in school, study all the time, go to university, and find work in a high-paying intellectual career.

But educated experts are elitists and are not to be trusted.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Megahouse Pork Puzzle​

So, this chinese company sells puzzles where a cow, tuna, chicken, lamb, and a pig are assembled by cuts of meat harvested off the animal.

I assume the labels refer to cuts, anyway. Ribs, roast, ham, etc. I'd be interested if i could read the labels.
MIGHT get one or two, anyway, just on the strength of this review on Amazon.

 

[Elixir]

So, this chinese company sells puzzles where a cow, tuna, chicken, lamb, and a pig are assembled by cuts of meat harvested off the animal.

Chinese are so humane! Look how happy that pig is.

 

[Keith&Co.]

So, this chinese company sells puzzles where a cow, tuna, chicken, lamb, and a pig are assembled by cuts of meat harvested off the animal.

Chinese are so humane! Look how happy that pig is.

The other side of its face has the X-for-dead eyes, and the ~ mouth.
I grow confused, too. Amazon lists China as Country Of Origin, but all the reviews are about 'growing Japan trend.'

The aminals i have found so far are pig, chicken, lamb, cow, snow crab, tuna, pufferfish.