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Which movie did you watch today and how would you rate it?

Laugh Killer Laugh 5/10

For a cliché gangster movie this isn't bad. William Forsyth decent. Tom Sizemore absolutely terrible. Most of the other performers seemed hired from the street. Hiring from the street isn't a bad thing but these people were really bad at what they were asked to do. Some scenes caught my eye but then a bad microphone placement would ruin it. Sound is so important and they didn't throw enough money into that aspect. Cinematographically the movie is actually very good and the music is very good. The music reminded me of Taxi Driver. I don't know about Kamal Ahmed as a director but he tried hard and I did manage to stomach the movie in its entirety. I wouldn't recommend anyone spend money to see this movie. Maybe a dollar. It would be worth that.
 
credoconsolans said:
It really wasn't defeated. It was simply renamed. As expected in such situations, just because you chopped off the head doesn't mean there aren't a lot of frustrated wannabes who think they should be next in the top seat. Which is what happened.

Basically they reached a detente of sorts.
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Though the whole prophecy was that Anakin was supposed to bring balance to the force.
 
credoconsolans said:
Sarpedon said:
Also, keep in mind Rey grew up on planet dumbfuckistan in a society based on scavenging parts. Just as people in the USA think the moonlanding was a hoax, and vaccines an evil conspiracy, it is not hard to believe that people in such a society might have a distorted view of the galaxy. Fin, despite having only what passes for an education given to child-soldiers in between their fighting training knew what was what.
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This part I agree with. Rey only knows what she's heard. I don't see her tuned into the latest Galaxy Wide news.
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See, I thought of that. But when Han Solo confirms to her that it's not a myth, then one can safely infer the idea that people believed it was all a myth. Not just the characters, but The Force as well. At the very, very best it's sloppy.

And the coincidences. Oh the happy coincidences. Rey and Finn, tumbling through space in the Millennium Falcon just happen to run into Han Solo and Chewy. If it's the Force causing it to happen then the Star Wars world has neither good nor bad people/life forms. It's predestination on a Galaxy-wide level. And the Force sure is an asshole. What's with this whole balancing thing? The Dark Side is never up to any good--it's evil just for the sake of it. If it was like, the Dark Side is the part of you that gives you a rebellious nature or just makes you want to take bong rips on Friday night, cool. That makes sense. But it seems to be the psychotic murderous part of you.

And not only that, everyone who doesn't have the capability to harness it and use it seem to exhibit the normal range of acceptable human behavior. Therefore, like the Christian god, you're almost infinitely better off not knowing anything about it because the day either side comes knocking on your door is the day you're completely fucked.

As for taking 10,000 years to suck up a sun, I don't know. However, I'm willing to accept they can do it, and I'm willing to ignore that nagging question asking, "Aren't suns a lot bigger than planets and if that planet can hold the content of the sun then..." But I was able to push it away until the third insult to my limited intelligence, which couldn't deny that a lot of trouble could be saved by just sucking up either the sun near the planet or hell, the planet itself. That's bush league 1950s B-movie sci fi stuff. I've seen more than enough MST3K to know a laugher when I see it.

I would think that with all the possibilities that exist for a Star Wars movie, that doing it in such a knowingly slipshod way has to be depressing for many of those involved. If a movie is measured by its box office, then this was a truly great movie. Anyone buy that?
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
credoconsolans said:
It really wasn't defeated. It was simply renamed. As expected in such situations, just because you chopped off the head doesn't mean there aren't a lot of frustrated wannabes who think they should be next in the top seat. Which is what happened.

Basically they reached a detente of sorts.
Click to expand...
Though the whole prophecy was that Anakin was supposed to bring balance to the force.
Click to expand...

He did. Good balanced by evil. They just assumed he'd be on the 'good' side. They were wrong.
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
credoconsolans said:
He did. Good balanced by evil. They just assumed he'd be on the 'good' side. They were wrong.
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I thought killing the emperor was the balancing event. Sorry, spoiler alert? :)
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The force is just a narrative device to fix plot holes. I think that is what it means by "balance". There is nothing that makes sense in Star Wars. That's part of the fun with it.

Facebook-97e483.png
 
Colonel Sanders said:
credoconsolans said:
This part I agree with. Rey only knows what she's heard. I don't see her tuned into the latest Galaxy Wide news.
Click to expand...

See, I thought of that. But when Han Solo confirms to her that it's not a myth, then one can safely infer the idea that people believed it was all a myth. Not just the characters, but The Force as well. At the very, very best it's sloppy.

And the coincidences. Oh the happy coincidences. Rey and Finn, tumbling through space in the Millennium Falcon just happen to run into Han Solo and Chewy. If it's the Force causing it to happen then the Star Wars world has neither good nor bad people/life forms. It's predestination on a Galaxy-wide level. And the Force sure is an asshole. What's with this whole balancing thing? The Dark Side is never up to any good--it's evil just for the sake of it. If it was like, the Dark Side is the part of you that gives you a rebellious nature or just makes you want to take bong rips on Friday night, cool. That makes sense. But it seems to be the psychotic murderous part of you.

And not only that, everyone who doesn't have the capability to harness it and use it seem to exhibit the normal range of acceptable human behavior. Therefore, like the Christian god, you're almost infinitely better off not knowing anything about it because the day either side comes knocking on your door is the day you're completely fucked.

As for taking 10,000 years to suck up a sun, I don't know. However, I'm willing to accept they can do it, and I'm willing to ignore that nagging question asking, "Aren't suns a lot bigger than planets and if that planet can hold the content of the sun then..." But I was able to push it away until the third insult to my limited intelligence, which couldn't deny that a lot of trouble could be saved by just sucking up either the sun near the planet or hell, the planet itself. That's bush league 1950s B-movie sci fi stuff. I've seen more than enough MST3K to know a laugher when I see it.

I would think that with all the possibilities that exist for a Star Wars movie, that doing it in such a knowingly slipshod way has to be depressing for many of those involved. If a movie is measured by its box office, then this was a truly great movie. Anyone buy that?
Click to expand...

The Rifftrax riff of The Force Awakens just came out a week or two ago. I haven't checked it out yet, but it should make the movie more palatable.
 
Colonel Sanders said:
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

It's just fucking lazy.

4/10
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Not sure you had to say more than that. JJ Abrams, known for lazy story writing, admitted he spent two months writing the script. Really? Two months on what is arguably one of the most anticipated screenplays ever? He did a rush job and it shows. Things either don't make any sense at all and/or are so contrived as to stagger the mind. Despite so much history, I couldn't relate to the motivations of any of the characters. Sometimes missing backstory is acceptable in a movie, but somehow all the missing story somehow left what was presented as very bland at best.

One can only hope that he didn't attempt to flesh out the next couple of movies. I'm not holding out hope for a better Episode 8 though, considering it is being written by the writer of Looper, one of the worst science fiction movies I've ever seen.
 
Aw fuck. Avengers III is getting the split film treatment.
Shadowy Man said:
Colonel Sanders said:
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

It's just fucking lazy.

4/10
Click to expand...

Not sure you had to say more than that. JJ Abrams, known for lazy story writing, admitted he spent two months writing the script. Really? Two months on what is arguably one of the most anticipated screenplays ever? He did a rush job and it shows. Things either don't make any sense at all and/or are so contrived as to stagger the mind. Despite so much history, I couldn't relate to the motivations of any of the characters. Sometimes missing backstory is acceptable in a movie, but somehow all the missing story somehow left what was presented as very bland at best.

One can only hope that he didn't attempt to flesh out the next couple of movies. I'm not holding out hope for a better Episode 8 though, considering it is being written by the writer of Looper, one of the worst science fiction movies I've ever seen.
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Was curious and looked it up... he has written almost nothing else! How in the world did he get this gig?!
 
Infinitely Polar - 6.5/10

Set in the late 1970s in Boston, the story is about a family with a manic depressive father (Mark Ruffalo) who ends up single parenting the two school age daughters while the mother (Zoe Saldano) goes to NYC to earn her MBA. Ruffalo is convincing as the father who learns to deal with his impulses in order to help his family. Saldano was okay in this drama/comedy - certainly a different type of role for her.
 
Maggie

It stars Schwarzennegger as the father of a teenage girl who's been bitten by a zombie, and she is facing a relatively protracted turn.

Now, hang in there. This is not an action movie by any stretch of the imagination. What it is, is a metaphor for a father dealing with a child's terminal illness that's set at the most outer edges of the zombie genre. It's much more a family drama than it is anything else, and it's surprisingly touching. Arnold really may have given the best acting performance of his career in this movie. The movie also touches on physician assisted suicide in a realistic and gritty manner and what it does to a parent who would have to face dealing with such an event--not for themselves, but for their child.

It's not perfect, and it's not what you expect. It's a surprisingly well done drama with the zombie aspect facilitating the issues.

6.5/10
 
Maggie is amazing and nobody ever talks about it. I think Maggie is the only zombie movie capable of making a person cry real drama tears. It has been a while since I saw it, but I remember being surprised by Schwarzennegger's acting. He was really, really good. "Maggie it's not a Toomah."
 
Sarpedon said:
Also, keep in mind Rey grew up on planet dumbfuckistan in a society based on scavenging parts. Just as people in the USA think the moonlanding was a hoax, and vaccines an evil conspiracy, it is not hard to believe that people in such a society might have a distorted view of the galaxy. Fin, despite having only what passes for an education given to child-soldiers in between their fighting training knew what was what.

Also, I have positive hopes for Hamill, as everyone loves his voice work. Possibly, his many years of voicing (and to a lesser extent, acting) more emotionally complex characters might mean that he's improved. And there's every reason to think he's more emotionally committed to this role than Ford was to his.
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Thit! I loved Profether Arnold!!
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
credoconsolans said:
It really wasn't defeated. It was simply renamed. As expected in such situations, just because you chopped off the head doesn't mean there aren't a lot of frustrated wannabes who think they should be next in the top seat. Which is what happened.

Basically they reached a detente of sorts.
Click to expand...
Though the whole prophecy was that Anakin was supposed to bring balance to the force.
Click to expand...

He did. There used to be at most two Sith and thousands of Jedi. Anakin killed almost all the Jedi, bringing balance.
 
Well, sort of. When Anakin was done, there are two Jedi and two Sith left over - Yoda and Obi-Wan and Vader and the Empereor. Then Vader killed one of the Jedi and one of the Sith, the other Jedi died and he died. However, that took too long and now there was another Jedi in Luke and zero Sith, so the force was all out of whack again so the force needed to self-correct and generate some new Sith and that got Han Solo killed.

So, fuck Anakin Skywalker, that little pod-racing bitch. It's his fault Han Solo died. :mad:
 
Dragon Warrior (1/10)

Saw this review on imdb:

"It is horrifying the overall "quality" of this movie if can be called that. The blunt lack of skill in production going from script to actor performance is overwhelming. I find it shameful and an insult to the legends or myths used in this production. Slow growing into any kind of watch-able scene. It brings you past the humanly possible stress point, annoying you to limits you never thought possible. I feel sorry for anyone that paid a ticked or bought a CD/DVD copy of this movie. I just hope anyone that would come across it to see the reviews on IMDb before any sort of purchase or rental. To sum up the words driven in this production, they are shameful, horrific and overall an insult to customers."

I love shitty b-movies, so I thought, wouldn't it be nice to see something horrid for a change. That review is spot on. I didn't know it was possible to fail this badly. I could quite literally make a better movie myself.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1623772/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
 
Minions

Clever at times but meh overall. If my kids were still little and I was still taking them to see kids' movies, I would have appreciated this one a lot more. That's because I remember when my youngest was around 5, sitting in the movie theater and enduring the horror of Yours, Mine, and Ours... I couldn't believe people were laughing. Had I tended a little more toward the violent-psychotic, a murder spree followed by suicide would have seemed completely reasonable. That's opposed to Clifford the Big Red dog, which was like a lethal injection execution gone horribly wrong---sitting there, paralyzed, but in agony and unable to do anything but suffer through it.

Anyway, Minions is good for that--for parents with kids about 10 and younger who sit through so many awful fucking kids movies. For that tortured demographic I'd give it a 9/10.

But as an adult whose youngest child leaves the nest in a little over a year?

4/10
 
Colonel Sanders said:
Minions

Clever at times but meh overall. If my kids were still little and I was still taking them to see kids' movies, I would have appreciated this one a lot more. That's because I remember when my youngest was around 5, sitting in the movie theater and enduring the horror of Yours, Mine, and Ours... I couldn't believe people were laughing. Had I tended a little more toward the violent-psychotic, a murder spree followed by suicide would have seemed completely reasonable. That's opposed to Clifford the Big Red dog, which was like a lethal injection execution gone horribly wrong---sitting there, paralyzed, but in agony and unable to do anything but suffer through it.

Anyway, Minions is good for that--for parents with kids about 10 and younger who sit through so many awful fucking kids movies. For that tortured demographic I'd give it a 9/10.

But as an adult whose youngest child leaves the nest in a little over a year?

4/10
Click to expand...
I recommend the original Yours, Mine, and Ours. The remake was nonsensical and ridiculous. The Lucille Ball/Henry Fonda version actually introduces a situation that is plausible and the children act in a believable way. It isn't LOL, but it is reasonably entertaining film.
 
Jimmy Higgins said:
Colonel Sanders said:
Minions

Clever at times but meh overall. If my kids were still little and I was still taking them to see kids' movies, I would have appreciated this one a lot more. That's because I remember when my youngest was around 5, sitting in the movie theater and enduring the horror of Yours, Mine, and Ours... I couldn't believe people were laughing. Had I tended a little more toward the violent-psychotic, a murder spree followed by suicide would have seemed completely reasonable. That's opposed to Clifford the Big Red dog, which was like a lethal injection execution gone horribly wrong---sitting there, paralyzed, but in agony and unable to do anything but suffer through it.

Anyway, Minions is good for that--for parents with kids about 10 and younger who sit through so many awful fucking kids movies. For that tortured demographic I'd give it a 9/10.

But as an adult whose youngest child leaves the nest in a little over a year?

4/10
Click to expand...
I recommend the original Yours, Mine, and Ours. The remake was nonsensical and ridiculous. The Lucille Ball/Henry Fonda version actually introduces a situation that is plausible and the children act in a believable way. It isn't LOL, but it is reasonably entertaining film.
Click to expand...

I have no doubt the original was better. It would have been difficult for it not to be. But I'm still overcoming my collective PTSD from all the movies I took my kids to when they were little. It'd be like a traumatized veteran going back to Nam to facedown his worst nightmares. I'm not ready for that yet.
 
Hateful 8

Thought I was gonna like this movie. It's about 8 really rotten people from the old west trapped in a wooden building together while a blizzard rages outside. Normally I place inordinate value when I rent a movie on TV--like I paid $100 for it when it's only $5.99 on Fandango. I fell asleep about 2/3 of the way through this one and didn't bother with getting coffee to watch the rest.

Tarantino tried to capture modern American politics and combine it with Django: Unchained, and a good dose of the classic one room-set movie. But instead it turned out like a food recipe you deviate from by adding twice as much garlic or a half cup more of sugar. It seems like a good idea and when you bite into it does have the flavor of something that should tasted good, but by the third bite you're forced to admit you screwed it up and so you throw it away or feed it to the dog--if he'll even have it.

I can still watch the rest, but I'm a believer in the movie critic rule that if it isn't good by the second reel, it's not going to get any better.

5/10
 
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