hurtinbuckaroo
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Reminds me of the classic short story by Tom Godwin, “The Cold Equations”, which has been the basis for several films and TV episodes.
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Which movie did you watch today and how would you rate it?
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Reminds me of the classic short story by Tom Godwin, “The Cold Equations”, which has been the basis for several films and TV episodes.
DrZoidberg
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Jayjay
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I think they made the exact point in the movie. And it was about CO2 scrubber being broken. But if I recall correctly, the characters said something about CO2 not being a problem because they can just vent it to space... but how would they do that if they can't scrub it from the air? Hmm. Maybe I need to check that scene again.
Also the solution is not exactly scientifically plausible. Spoilers:
Shadowy Man
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TSwizzle
I am unburdened by what has been.
Before The Fire, 2/10; The movie is described as a thriller but it has no thrills. In the grip of a world pandemic a rising Hollywood actress is tricked into fleeing Los Angeles to her rural hometown. And what follows is an utterly tedious meander through vague storylines about previous relationships and conflicts. There isn't much dialogue and a lot more of the soap opera style staring into the distance looking sincere. Dreadful movie.
Jimmy Higgins
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Wonder Woman '84 (spoilers) - An interesting tale about a couple lost to circumstances, reforming their bond 70 or so years later. At least, that seemed to be the movie I was watching. Because other than the opening intro of Wonder Woman cheating to try and win, there was almost no sense of action at all for 90 minutes! And sometimes, this can be a slow burn, this wasn't. Perhaps the best part was the stealing of a fighter jet of some sort, and flying it to Egypt, which is pretty far away, and not getting straight to it, as there were fireworks that needed to be seen. Oh, and the whole super satellite, goodness it was dumb. The characters suck. They just suck because they are flat, with almost no dimension except when the writer wanted to shove it into the plot after having forgetting to deal with it. The Bad Guy's son, was directed and written so poorly, he could have easily been mistaken for Bella, due to the lack of dialogue. For being an Amazonian, Diana is really a puff ball. And seriously, 70 years to figure out you have other powers?
The final fight scene had all the satisfaction of the battle scene in Twilight - Breaking Dawn Part Two. And that itself is made even less compelling due to the ridiculous plot of Genie Man. There is allegedly a naughty god behind this and I thought maybe this would turn to that, but nope, Genie Man is it. Oh and Catwoman... I mean Cheetah, who's origin story seemed umm... similar to that of the feline persuasion in Batman. But unlike Catwoman (played in Returns or Dark Knights Rises), this character was just uncompelling. They set up a bit of groundwork, but then her transition becomes a bit like Skywalker, who goes from confused to child murderer with a second thought.
The only redeeming quality of this movie is the Rifftrax by Pehl and Nelson. They killed it. I wasn't expecting much, but at the 90 minute mark, I was having a hard time wanting to finish this, even with a great riff.
1.5 of 4 (DC sucks)
3,5 of 4 (Rifftrax Riff, DC owes them a cut)
The final fight scene had all the satisfaction of the battle scene in Twilight - Breaking Dawn Part Two. And that itself is made even less compelling due to the ridiculous plot of Genie Man. There is allegedly a naughty god behind this and I thought maybe this would turn to that, but nope, Genie Man is it. Oh and Catwoman... I mean Cheetah, who's origin story seemed umm... similar to that of the feline persuasion in Batman. But unlike Catwoman (played in Returns or Dark Knights Rises), this character was just uncompelling. They set up a bit of groundwork, but then her transition becomes a bit like Skywalker, who goes from confused to child murderer with a second thought.
The only redeeming quality of this movie is the Rifftrax by Pehl and Nelson. They killed it. I wasn't expecting much, but at the 90 minute mark, I was having a hard time wanting to finish this, even with a great riff.
1.5 of 4 (DC sucks)
3,5 of 4 (Rifftrax Riff, DC owes them a cut)
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Heh, I warned you months ago it wasn't good.
Jimmy Higgins
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One of the best lines in the Riff was when Diana was talking about Asteria, and the battle where she sacrifices herself, I think Nelson remarked, "That sounds like a better movie." Indeed, this film fails in providing a comic book movie. The opening sequence is about 'oh look, the deity is doing well until she encounters a cliche'. They could have introduced the naughty god instead and given context there to help explain the character who creates the wishing crystal. (Can we also get to the point where he wanted to wish after originally already making the wish to become one with the crystal?) These gods always seem to be an after thought, and really require some screen time to provide context.
The final nail in the coffin was the short cut scene post part of the credits, then needing to pop up on the next credit to explain what in the heck you just saw.
To make things clear, I love the Pehl and Nelson's chemistry in their Rifftrax efforts, which is why I watched this film. I was just surprised at how not good this movie was. It was almost like another origin story film. I thought it funny, the world tearing apart and wondering where in the heck Superman was. The DC universe needs better writers.
Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe - Fantastical story about people and animals (actually mostly animals) held captive by a witch, continually praying that their worthless god will come to help them after not doing so for over a century, and then when the god decides to help, he does so by providing the cause four children who aren't even teenagers to fight his war for him, with absolutely no training or guidance at all. His one great act is avoiding death by using a loophole in the code. He eventually finally steps up, after countless people suffer and or die, when he could have done so a bit earlier. Regardless, they still worship this god because there is nothing better to worship, and when he walks off to go lick his balls, one notes, don't worry he'll be back when we need him, yeah a century or two after you need him. Kind of why Bree says "Aslan is mighty and great, but he does seem to suffer from a short attention span."
The movie follows the book and then inserts a major battle that CS Lewis alludes to happening but didn't actually get into because, not that great of a writer? It is well done overall.
3 of 4
The final nail in the coffin was the short cut scene post part of the credits, then needing to pop up on the next credit to explain what in the heck you just saw.
To make things clear, I love the Pehl and Nelson's chemistry in their Rifftrax efforts, which is why I watched this film. I was just surprised at how not good this movie was. It was almost like another origin story film. I thought it funny, the world tearing apart and wondering where in the heck Superman was. The DC universe needs better writers.
Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe - Fantastical story about people and animals (actually mostly animals) held captive by a witch, continually praying that their worthless god will come to help them after not doing so for over a century, and then when the god decides to help, he does so by providing the cause four children who aren't even teenagers to fight his war for him, with absolutely no training or guidance at all. His one great act is avoiding death by using a loophole in the code. He eventually finally steps up, after countless people suffer and or die, when he could have done so a bit earlier. Regardless, they still worship this god because there is nothing better to worship, and when he walks off to go lick his balls, one notes, don't worry he'll be back when we need him, yeah a century or two after you need him. Kind of why Bree says "Aslan is mighty and great, but he does seem to suffer from a short attention span."
The movie follows the book and then inserts a major battle that CS Lewis alludes to happening but didn't actually get into because, not that great of a writer? It is well done overall.
3 of 4
Politesse
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Tolkien did this a lot, too. I suspect the concept of battle was too close to the bone for them to consider it acceptable children's book material.
The Colourful Jester
Member
Watched a couple of double features this week. 
Wednesday night. Watched at a Community Centre.
Dark City Director Cut. Been a few years since i watched this. A touch heavy handed, but still a good watch, mostly for the atmosphere if not the plot. Paused an hour into the movie to allow a late scraggler a chance to settle down in the bean bags we were watching from.
The Matrix: I forgot how much fun this was. It had a humour and charm that the po-faced sequals lacked.
Friday night. Regular cinema so no pause for a toilet break in the movie - had to wait for the interval.
A Quiet Place.
Great fun all rising from the tension. Everything felt on point. And the best part was the family interaction...
A Quiet Place part II
... Which due to events in the first film was lacking here. A flashback to before the first movie was possibly the warmest and most chamring part. Though Reagan (the deaf daughter) holds her own in this. Still worth a look.
Wednesday night. Watched at a Community Centre.
Dark City Director Cut. Been a few years since i watched this. A touch heavy handed, but still a good watch, mostly for the atmosphere if not the plot. Paused an hour into the movie to allow a late scraggler a chance to settle down in the bean bags we were watching from.
The Matrix: I forgot how much fun this was. It had a humour and charm that the po-faced sequals lacked.
Friday night. Regular cinema so no pause for a toilet break in the movie - had to wait for the interval.
A Quiet Place.
Great fun all rising from the tension. Everything felt on point. And the best part was the family interaction...
A Quiet Place part II
... Which due to events in the first film was lacking here. A flashback to before the first movie was possibly the warmest and most chamring part. Though Reagan (the deaf daughter) holds her own in this. Still worth a look.
Wiploc
Veteran Member
I started Breach. I doubt that I'll finish it.
But I did enjoy that the spaceship had suspended animation for the passengers and also had warp speed.
Plus I enjoyed when the crew thrust themselves back in their chairs to show how much g-force they had to endure to go all the way from stopped to many-times-the-speed-of-light in just a few seconds. They even shook the camera a little bit, because, you know, that would be a lot of g-force.
But I did enjoy that the spaceship had suspended animation for the passengers and also had warp speed.
Plus I enjoyed when the crew thrust themselves back in their chairs to show how much g-force they had to endure to go all the way from stopped to many-times-the-speed-of-light in just a few seconds. They even shook the camera a little bit, because, you know, that would be a lot of g-force.
bilby
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The flight from Brisbane to London only takes around thirty hours (including one stop); I would gladly take a suspended animation option if it were available.
And the inertial dampener McGuffin is a black box. Why should it be perfectly effective, when a bleed through of a couple of gs would be tolerable?
Army of the Dead.
Well, this movie now replaces Suckerpunch as Snyder's worst movie.
A zombie outbreak occurs in Las Vegas because a newly married couple perform oral sex (not joking). To contain the outbreak, the US Government surrounds Vegas with a wall of container stacks and sets up a refugee camp right next to the zombie infected city (not joking). This seems to isolate the outbreak so a few years afterwards, congress decides it's now super important to nuke Vegas (nope, still not joking). Because of this, a multi-billionaire hires a burger flipper to break into a casino in Vegas just days before it gets nuked so that the casino the multi-billionaire owns to steal a couple of hundred million dollars that was already insured and the billionaire has already been reimbursed by the US Government (there was a conversation between the billionaire and burger flipper about this so the viewers realise how redundant this caper is).
I deliberately made that last sentence as confusing as possible to follow so you can appreciate how I felt watching all this exposition at the time.
Burger flipper promises to give three quarters of the money to the billionaire despite facing all the risk and immediately organises a squad to perform this heist. An obligatory recruitment montage occurs (you don't really need to pay attention) and this group of misfits hired by a burger flipper who the billionaire has no time to vet are off to Vegas to perform the heist.
Then the movie stops making sense.
Honestly, this movie ticks all the boxes one would expect from a Snyder movie that Zack Snyder by now should really know better than to do. Unnecessary slow motions scenes? Fuck yeah. An incredibly superfluous intro? Of course! Shitty cover versions of popular songs? You betcha. Cringe worthy dialogue that feels as though it was written by Aaron Sorkin after he was force fed lead based paint for several years? This movie goes for two and a half fucking hours, it hits all the classic Snyder-esque shitty techniques! It's unbelievable how much effort was put in this masticated cum stain of a dumpster fire movie so let's give it recognition for what it did accomplish:
- I now no longer believe Garret Dillahunt is a good actor.
- It was a survival horror movie and I stopped giving a fuck who was going to live through to the end within the first 30 minutes.
- One of Siegfried & Roy's tigers becomes a zombie and nobody cares
- Zombies cure global warming. This is shown as they discover zombies prefer warm flesh, an yet aren't motivated in the Nevada sun. The only possible explanation is that Las Vegas becomes quite temperate in a zombie apocalypse.
- This movie has all the types of zombies. Fast, 28 Days Later zombies, slow George A Romero zombies, zombies that use basic tools like in Ghosts of Mars, that tiger zombie, a horse zombie, a zombie fetus, zombies that may or may not have glowing blue eyes (that could have just been because of shitty cinematography) and even zombies that only move about if it is raining. This movie does what I thought was impossible; it portrays all these types of zombies in such an uninspiring manner you end up not giving a fuck about any of them.
- That scene in Indiana Jones and the Redundant Sequel where Indiana Jones survives a nuclear explosion by hiding in a fridge? Zack Snyder brings back that idiotic meme, except with a bank vault.
This movie isn't "so bad it's good". It's more, "you had everything going for you and you still fucked it up". The most plausible part of this movie is that in a zombie apocalypse, Sean Spicer and Donna Brazile become relevant media personalities again. And no, I'm not joking - Spicer and Brazile have cameo appearances as talking head pundits in this because why fucking not? This could have been really fun to watch, except they removed all the fun and left in the painfully fucking stupid.
Watch this only if you feel you need to be punished for some unspeakable atrocity you've committed in a previous life.
Well, this movie now replaces Suckerpunch as Snyder's worst movie.
A zombie outbreak occurs in Las Vegas because a newly married couple perform oral sex (not joking). To contain the outbreak, the US Government surrounds Vegas with a wall of container stacks and sets up a refugee camp right next to the zombie infected city (not joking). This seems to isolate the outbreak so a few years afterwards, congress decides it's now super important to nuke Vegas (nope, still not joking). Because of this, a multi-billionaire hires a burger flipper to break into a casino in Vegas just days before it gets nuked so that the casino the multi-billionaire owns to steal a couple of hundred million dollars that was already insured and the billionaire has already been reimbursed by the US Government (there was a conversation between the billionaire and burger flipper about this so the viewers realise how redundant this caper is).
I deliberately made that last sentence as confusing as possible to follow so you can appreciate how I felt watching all this exposition at the time.
Burger flipper promises to give three quarters of the money to the billionaire despite facing all the risk and immediately organises a squad to perform this heist. An obligatory recruitment montage occurs (you don't really need to pay attention) and this group of misfits hired by a burger flipper who the billionaire has no time to vet are off to Vegas to perform the heist.
Then the movie stops making sense.
Honestly, this movie ticks all the boxes one would expect from a Snyder movie that Zack Snyder by now should really know better than to do. Unnecessary slow motions scenes? Fuck yeah. An incredibly superfluous intro? Of course! Shitty cover versions of popular songs? You betcha. Cringe worthy dialogue that feels as though it was written by Aaron Sorkin after he was force fed lead based paint for several years? This movie goes for two and a half fucking hours, it hits all the classic Snyder-esque shitty techniques! It's unbelievable how much effort was put in this masticated cum stain of a dumpster fire movie so let's give it recognition for what it did accomplish:
- I now no longer believe Garret Dillahunt is a good actor.
- It was a survival horror movie and I stopped giving a fuck who was going to live through to the end within the first 30 minutes.
- One of Siegfried & Roy's tigers becomes a zombie and nobody cares
- Zombies cure global warming. This is shown as they discover zombies prefer warm flesh, an yet aren't motivated in the Nevada sun. The only possible explanation is that Las Vegas becomes quite temperate in a zombie apocalypse.
- This movie has all the types of zombies. Fast, 28 Days Later zombies, slow George A Romero zombies, zombies that use basic tools like in Ghosts of Mars, that tiger zombie, a horse zombie, a zombie fetus, zombies that may or may not have glowing blue eyes (that could have just been because of shitty cinematography) and even zombies that only move about if it is raining. This movie does what I thought was impossible; it portrays all these types of zombies in such an uninspiring manner you end up not giving a fuck about any of them.
- That scene in Indiana Jones and the Redundant Sequel where Indiana Jones survives a nuclear explosion by hiding in a fridge? Zack Snyder brings back that idiotic meme, except with a bank vault.
This movie isn't "so bad it's good". It's more, "you had everything going for you and you still fucked it up". The most plausible part of this movie is that in a zombie apocalypse, Sean Spicer and Donna Brazile become relevant media personalities again. And no, I'm not joking - Spicer and Brazile have cameo appearances as talking head pundits in this because why fucking not? This could have been really fun to watch, except they removed all the fun and left in the painfully fucking stupid.
Watch this only if you feel you need to be punished for some unspeakable atrocity you've committed in a previous life.
Shadowy Man
Contributor
So, in the very small continuum space between Highlander 2 and Dark Phoenix, where would it lie?
I'd lean towards Dark Phoenix. Mainly because zombie movies are instant cash cows just like comic book movies and both Phoenix and Army fucked it. At least with Highlander 2 you can have the debate between friends over beers whether that or Zardoz was Connery's worst movie.
Shadowy Man
Contributor
I am saddened by the fact that you’d be able to assess its placement, which means you’ve had the misfortune of seeing those two other travesties.
I asked for a mission, and for my sins they gave me one...
marc
Veteran Member
Thanks for the warning! I was considering watching that film. Didn't realize it was a Snyder film. I still feel bitter about Suckerpunch.
DrZoidberg
Contributor
I just looked through Zack Snyder's filmography. It's not impressive. That guy seems able to fuck up anything. He didn't fuck up Watchmen too bad. Because he stuck to the original story and didn't get creative. But it's still a pretty flat movie.
But I need to see how Snyder manages to fuck up a zombie movie. I didn't think that was possible.
