Emily Lake
Might be a replicant
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2014
- Messages
- 8,240
- Location
- It's a desert out there
- Gender
- Agenderist
- Basic Beliefs
- Atheist
It's funny. I run across this argument all the time from men. Once in a while, a woman will advocate for entirely private single-serving spaces... but far more often it's men.There's another option - private spaces.
Why are we asking people to share spaces in which they want "Privacy, dignity, safety, and fairness" at all?
Why, if I want a shower after working out, am I required to share a space in which I want privacy (and dignity, and safety) with anyone else at all?
My bathroom at home isn't a mens or womens bathroom; It's just used by one person at a time. Why public facilities cannot be managed the same way, leading to greater levels of privacy, dignity, safety and fairness, I do not know.
It seems to be partly a matter of cost, but more a hangover of a past age of communal living. Privacy is a relative novelty*, and dignity and safety were always restricted to the powerful in communal spaces. At school they kept the girls separated from the boys, but gave no thought to separating the bullies from their victims; Dignity and safety were notable by their absence.
Men use bathrooms differently than women do. I've been told dozens of times that men don't have conversations in the toilet, they don't hang out, they usually don't even make eye contact. They go in, do their business, and leave with as little interaction as they can manage.
Women don't do that. We interact in bathrooms in a very different way. We'll have conversations in bathrooms that we would never have if there were men around. We help each other with clothing, we deal with menstrual accidents - sometimes that means we're washing skivvies in a sink and drying them under the hand dryer. And in some venues, like night clubs or bars, we use bathrooms to get away from men who won't leave us alone. And we have discussions with other female friends - or complete strangers even - when we're being hassled by a man, or pressured by a man, or just want back-up against an over-eager dude.
When men come along with this brilliant "solution" of entirely private spaces, what you're doing is asserting that women should alter our behavior to conform with a male norm. The solution you propose is for women to just knock of being women and start acting like men.