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Things that make you laugh...

Keith&Co. said:
Wrote my first check of the new year. without much thought or any pause, put the date as 2018.
When I realized that I'd done so, that I hadn't inadvertently put '2017' due to habit, I felt SO adult.

Then I realized I'd just written my monthly house payment for twelve dollars.
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The last time I wrote a cheque, I started writing the date 19.. and then carried on as normal, because it was the 20th century the last time I as much as saw a cheque.

In fact, I am struggling to remember the last time I wrote (rather than typed) anything.
 
bilby said:
Keith&Co. said:
Wrote my first check of the new year. without much thought or any pause, put the date as 2018.
When I realized that I'd done so, that I hadn't inadvertently put '2017' due to habit, I felt SO adult.

Then I realized I'd just written my monthly house payment for twelve dollars.
Click to expand...

The last time I wrote a cheque, I started writing the date 19.. and then carried on as normal, because it was the 20th century the last time I as much as saw a cheque.

In fact, I am struggling to remember the last time I wrote (rather than typed) anything.
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I would say I write small things the majority of weeks.
 
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bilby said:
The most Australian news story possible.

(Ten days early for Australia Day)

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-01-16/wallaby-hops-across-sydney-harbour-bridge-surprising-motorists/9332050

#AussieAs
#Straya
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Yeah, just #AussieAs stuff coz the sight of wallabies hopping along the streets of Sydney's CBD is so common that nobody even bothers to turn their head, let alone report it on news channels.

Speaking of things Australian, Rockstar Games announced that on ANZAC Day (April 25) they will release Grand Theft Auto: The Australian Edition

260762D700000578-2966852-image-m-2_1424786947597.jpg
 
Not sure if I shared this here before:

A while back, one of our managers sent out a memo concerning a certain project. He feared that we were at a risk of

guilding the lily

with respect to the basic weapon system. I had to comment that I cringed at the idea of organized flowers going on a bloom strike. He reissued the memo. Now, he said that the risk was of

gelding the lily.

I shut up on the subject. I mean, it'd be one thing if he was TRYING to make a pun, but this was just taking a stab then picking the autocorrect suggestions at random...
 
JUST overheard a coworker talking about his new snowblower. The person he was talking with asked 'How much did you spend on it?' making sure to say 'That is, if you're comfortable revealing that.'
He was comfortable talking about the list price and the special deal he got on it and so on.

But that reminded me of a night on the suicide hotline.

A lot of psych or therapy students volunteer for the suicide hotline, getting credit for the exposure to people's problems.

One night, my partner at the hotline was a young woman who had an assignment for one of her therapy courses.
"Part of being a therapist," she explained, "is getting people to talk about private matters. Would you mind if I practice asking you some questions?"
No, not at all. Go for it.
She had chosen from the available list, to try to get people to talk about their masturbation habits.

At the time she asked this, I was in the Navy, and between submarine commands. We talked about masturbation the way people in THIS office talk about the Patriots.

I answered all her questions and a few she wasn't able to bring herself to ask. She'd never imagined, for example, that it was possible to have races.... We discussed materials, time spent, goals, rotations, avoiding chafing, avoiding interruptions, keeping your voice down when interrupted...

Found out later that the professor wouldn't accept her report because it looked too easy. She started to explain: Well, he says that in the Navy-"
"Oh. He's Navy? Okay." Changed her grade to an A and let her go.
 
I tried to join the Navy (failed the medical exam.)

I don't know what I think about your stories.
 
James Brown said:
... the Navy ... I don't know what I think about your stories.
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I got my Dad a tour of one of my submarines. He was real impressed with the hardware, the claustrophobia, but on the drive home, when I asked what he thought, he muttered, "Nuclear weapons in the hands of 140 men who couldn't find steady work and ended up in the military..."
 
Keith&Co. said:
Not sure if I shared this here before:

A while back, one of our managers sent out a memo concerning a certain project. He feared that we were at a risk of

guilding the lily

with respect to the basic weapon system. I had to comment that I cringed at the idea of organized flowers going on a bloom strike. He reissued the memo. Now, he said that the risk was of

gelding the lily.

I shut up on the subject. I mean, it'd be one thing if he was TRYING to make a pun, but this was just taking a stab then picking the autocorrect suggestions at random...
Click to expand...

So you're saying you wanted to correct him the second time, but didn't have the balls?

;)
 
Found out that Facilities Management will not authorize a major redesign to my current cubicle if the justification is for mounting a periscope is 'so I can see when the humor-disabled personnel are approaching.'

Obviously, FM are H-D personnel...
 
Keith&Co. said:
Found out that Facilities Management will not authorize a major redesign to my current cubicle if the justification is for mounting a periscope is 'so I can see when the humor-disabled personnel are approaching.'

Obviously, FM are H-D personnel...
Click to expand...

No, it's just better to nip it in the bud rather than when they have to deny you torpedo tubes.
 
Loren Pechtel said:
Keith&Co. said:
Found out that Facilities Management will not authorize a major redesign to my current cubicle if the justification is for mounting a periscope is 'so I can see when the humor-disabled personnel are approaching.'

Obviously, FM are H-D personnel...
Click to expand...

No, it's just better to nip it in the bud rather than when they have to deny you torpedo tubes.
Click to expand...

Keith&Co. said:
Loren Pechtel said:
No, it's just better to nip it in the bud rather than when they have to deny you torpedo tubes.
Click to expand...
???!?!?!!

Can you see my whiteboard?
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You were a submariner.

They are not submarines.

Thus they must be targets.

It's obvious, I don't need to see your whiteboard.
 
So, I wrote a storyboard for a bit of computer based training that another contractor is going to produce. The subject is Guidance Correction Coefficients. What are they, how they're used, how the sailor can really screw them up.
I don't want to say "Guidance Correction Coefficient" eleventy dozen times, but that's okay, this is the military. We can utilize the power of shortcuts. In the Fleet, we use GCC or GCCs.

For the storyboard, I include pronunciation because the narrator is not going to be a missile technician.
I write:
Pronounce:
MMSS: Mass Memory
SCTIP: Skit-up
TIDB: tid - bee
OP is spelled out: Oh Pea
GCC is spelled out: gee see sea
Plural, GCCs, is spelled out: gee sea seize
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I got bitched out.




Evidently, it's grammatically incorrect to use two different words to explain the pronunciation of 'C.'
'See' or 'Sea' would be correct, on their own. 'Gee Sea Sea' would be correct. The reviewer had to explain to me that the person reading the text for recording would be confused by 'See Sea.' Although it seems to me that anyone with a >4th grade reading ability will simply fly through...
Further, I was called upon to defend my switching of the first C from See to Sea when the reference is pluralized. Why do that? What possible difference could it make which 'See/Sea' was used?

So the same reviewer simultaneously insisted that my choice of phonetic demonstration words was critically inconsistent, AND made no difference.

And today, I am called upon to explain my choice to not bother dignifying the reviewer's comments with the slightest response. I suspect that 'Well, DUH!' will not be sufficient.
 
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