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Things that make you laugh...

It's not the umbrella that made him fall, it was the pothole. I expect the result would've been the same without the umbrella.
Yes, it was the pothole, and there was a photographer ready and waiting for the inevitable, who could have warned approaching cyclists, but chose to exploit the situation for the laughs and perhaps the money he might get by selling the photos to some afternoon tabloid.



Back to laughter:

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I was talking to my brother last night and he laughed when I told him that I was teaching Health to kiddies this year!

It took me a minute to realise the irony of someone who has been off sick for 10 months, with a bung leg would be teaching health!
 
Well, it's kind of like when Keith Richards says "don't do drugs," gotta figure he's in a position to know what he's talking about.

Although not QUITE the same. Richards' most effective antidrug message is that he didn't leave any fir the rest of us....
 
Today at school was teaching 6-7 year olds about the five food groups and healthy foods.

Their task was to cut out pictures of healthy foods and glue them into the pie graph of the five food groups.

One kid comes up to me and shows me a picture of a tin of dog food and asks ‘Can I cut this and put it in the meat section because it’s healthy for dogs?’

I then had to stop the class to specify that we were looking for pictures of healthy food for humans, not pets.
 
If they were examples of healthy foods, why glue them to a pie chart?

View attachment 14272


It’s designed to represent a plate.

Isn't there s'posed to be antivenin in there somewhere?


Lol

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It’s designed to represent a plate.
And of course, you're trying to help knowledge transfer, so "monkey see, monkey glue."

Lol
 
Corporate responsibility training. An enthralling online course to be completed annually.

Having completed the course, I figured I could do better. Here's my take on it:

Rita is working with a Business Partner, Jose, on a large project in Central America.

Jose's brother has offered to kill the CEO of our company's main competitor, and bury him in a shallow grave.

Select all that apply:

*You should offer Jose's brother the use of your pickup truck - bloodstains in the trunk of his sedan could cause suspicion to fall on our company
*You should thank Jose, and send his brother a thank you note as well
*You should flee the country, report the matter to the FBI, and ask to join the Witness Protection Program
*You should report the matter to our corporate Legal Department, so we can send round the heavies to whack Jose and his brother before they cause any more trouble
 
You missed one. FIFY:

*You should offer Jose's brother the use of your pickup truck - bloodstains in the trunk of his sedan could cause suspicion to fall on our company
*You should thank Jose, and send his brother a thank you note as well
*You should flee the country, report the matter to the FBI, and ask to join the Witness Protection Program
*You should report the matter to our corporate Legal Department, so we can send round the heavies to whack Jose and his brother before they cause any more trouble
*All of the above
 
OK, so I didn't exactly laugh out loud, but it made me chuckle a little bit ...

I was just sorting out some post to go out tomorrow, when I noticed that, in the house above Ms. van Dijk, lives ... Mr. Overdijk. Coincidence?

(There's also one where Mr. Zwart lives next door to Mrs. Bianchi, but that's another (multilingual) story ...)
 
Everyone in my unit has had to register with a certain company's website for access to stuff we need for our work.
They recognized, when they wrote this software, that sometimes people work from home vice office, or they may travel. So for verification, we can provide two phone numbers.
When you change your password, they call one of those numbers, your choice, and ask you to hit the pound key to authorize the change.

I don't have a cell, I never work from home, and I never take my laptop on business trips. So I effectively had a surplus phone number.

And I just happened to have the boss' phone number at hand...

So every time I change passwords, I can have it call his number two or three times, before telling it to call my desk phone so I can continue with my work.
Boss is not actually part of 'the unit,' so he never had to acquire access to the LMS. He has no idea what this acronym is or why it's asking him to press pound. At first he thought it was his kids' school, with an important message, so he hit pound for me. But there was never a following message...

Oh! Twenty to eleven! Time for the pre-lunch password shift!
 
Everyone in my unit has had to register with a certain company's website for access to stuff we need for our work.
They recognized, when they wrote this software, that sometimes people work from home vice office, or they may travel. So for verification, we can provide two phone numbers.
When you change your password, they call one of those numbers, your choice, and ask you to hit the pound key to authorize the change.

I don't have a cell, I never work from home, and I never take my laptop on business trips. So I effectively had a surplus phone number.

And I just happened to have the boss' phone number at hand...

So every time I change passwords, I can have it call his number two or three times, before telling it to call my desk phone so I can continue with my work.
Boss is not actually part of 'the unit,' so he never had to acquire access to the LMS. He has no idea what this acronym is or why it's asking him to press pound. At first he thought it was his kids' school, with an important message, so he hit pound for me. But there was never a following message...

Oh! Twenty to eleven! Time for the pre-lunch password shift!

Clearly being a saint is a prerequisite for working with you.
 
Clearly being a saint is a prerequisite for working with you.
There are various mechanisms.

Supervisor came out of a start-of-work meeting in Boss' office near the end of the day. She came straight over to my cube, said, "Lay off Bill," kept on walking.
 
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