Questions For Women

[Toni]

I’ve been as explicit as I felt was polite and in keeping with the standards of this forum in stating my lack of interest in discussing your sex life.

In return you’ve told me that I was dishonest and afraid. I’m neither. I’m simply uninterested because I find the discussion of your sex life to be boring.

Its never been about my sex life in particular. But you know that already. So cut the crap.

Good idea! This is my last response to you on this subject.

 

[Rhea]

And the software recognizes from the leading @ and the trailing ; that a user’s name is inbetween. We made that the code so it could handle spaces and not be confused by pasted tweets.

Please continue to educate. What does that accomplish? What's the purpose of that mention?

The mention creats an alert at the top of the page like where the reputation alerts and Private Message alerts are - letting you know that someone mentioned you in a post. You can click the alert and go straight to the post [MENTION=765]Emily Lake[/MENTION];

 

[Emily Lake]

And the software recognizes from the leading @ and the trailing ; that a user’s name is inbetween. We made that the code so it could handle spaces and not be confused by pasted tweets.

Please continue to educate. What does that accomplish? What's the purpose of that mention?

The mention creats an alert at the top of the page like where the reputation alerts and Private Message alerts are - letting you know that someone mentioned you in a post. You can click the alert and go straight to the post [MENTION=765]Emily Lake[/MENTION];

Thank you! That was cool

 

[Emily Lake]

I'm not sure we speak the same language... because I'm having a lot of trouble squaring this comment...

I prefer highly choosy women. I'm also quite choosy. I have sex with a fraction of, all the women who have expressed an interest in meeting. I don't like one night stands. If I'm going to have sex with a woman I want a deep connection in longer term relationships. One good reason is because I don't want AIDS. A woman being easy, who sleeps with whoever, comes with a bunch of other behaviours not conducive to a good relationship. It's a sign of weak boundaries. Which means that she's likely to consent to things she'd rather not do. Ie she consents to sex for unhealthy reasons. Which tends to just end in a massive mess and drama with nobody happy. And these women are bad at remembering to use condoms. As well as them befriending awful men, who in this community means them pulling in men I'd rather not hang out with in my close circle of friends.

... with this comment...

Men love slutty women. It makes no sense that a confident man in touch with his sexuality (and who isn't crazy) would have any problem with women sleeping around with whoever. A lot of men think they will. But once in the open relationship world and get over the initial shock, they're like fish in water.

 

[DrZoidberg]

I'm not sure we speak the same language... because I'm having a lot of trouble squaring this comment...

I prefer highly choosy women. I'm also quite choosy. I have sex with a fraction of, all the women who have expressed an interest in meeting. I don't like one night stands. If I'm going to have sex with a woman I want a deep connection in longer term relationships. One good reason is because I don't want AIDS. A woman being easy, who sleeps with whoever, comes with a bunch of other behaviours not conducive to a good relationship. It's a sign of weak boundaries. Which means that she's likely to consent to things she'd rather not do. Ie she consents to sex for unhealthy reasons. Which tends to just end in a massive mess and drama with nobody happy. And these women are bad at remembering to use condoms. As well as them befriending awful men, who in this community means them pulling in men I'd rather not hang out with in my close circle of friends.

... with this comment...

Men love slutty women. It makes no sense that a confident man in touch with his sexuality (and who isn't crazy) would have any problem with women sleeping around with whoever. A lot of men think they will. But once in the open relationship world and get over the initial shock, they're like fish in water.

There is no conflict between the statements. I suspect that it's your lack of understanding about people who live in open relationships that is the problem. I don't understand what it is you are projecting onto us. But it doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter for the topic of this thread. I'm not interested in being the prophet of open relationships or evangelizing for it. That's not why I brought it up. You're free to believe whatever you want about people like us. I'm cool with it.

The reason I brought it up was because I think it is interesting to contrast the behaviour of people in open relationships with the behaviour of people in monogamous relationships. That was the ONLY reason I mentioned it. After that the focus shifted completely onto my sex life, in spite it being of no consequence to this thread, nor especially interesting IMHO, and in spite of my best efforts to try to coax it back to the original topic. I think the best tactic from now on is just to refuse to answer anything about my sex life in particular in this thread, in the hopes that we might go back to discussing what this thread is actually about.

 

[Emily Lake]

1) Men love slutty women, women who sleep around with whoever are great
2) I like choosy women, women who sleep around with whoever have behaviors not conducive to good relationships and health

Can you explain to me how slutty and choosy are the same to you? Or how sleeping around with whoever is both a good thing and a bad thing in your eyes?

 

[DrZoidberg]

1) Men love slutty women, women who sleep around with whoever are great
2) I like choosy women, women who sleep around with whoever have behaviors not conducive to good relationships and health

Can you explain to me how slutty and choosy are the same to you? Or how sleeping around with whoever is both a good thing and a bad thing in your eyes?

I think you need to expend minimal brainpower to figure this one out. It's a pretty simple logical puzzle with only a couple variables.

A good start would be to set your preconceptions aside.

 

[Toni]

1) Men love slutty women, women who sleep around with whoever are great
2) I like choosy women, women who sleep around with whoever have behaviors not conducive to good relationships and health

Can you explain to me how slutty and choosy are the same to you? Or how sleeping around with whoever is both a good thing and a bad thing in your eyes?

I think you need to expend minimal brainpower to figure this one out. It's a pretty simple logical puzzle with only a couple variables.

A good start would be to set your preconceptions aside.

I think I've got it:

Men love slutty women but you prefer women who are choosy.
You do not prefer slutty women.
Ergo you are not a man.

That does upend my assumptions about you.

 

[Emily Lake]

1) Men love slutty women, women who sleep around with whoever are great
2) I like choosy women, women who sleep around with whoever have behaviors not conducive to good relationships and health

Can you explain to me how slutty and choosy are the same to you? Or how sleeping around with whoever is both a good thing and a bad thing in your eyes?

I think you need to expend minimal brainpower to figure this one out. It's a pretty simple logical puzzle with only a couple variables.

A good start would be to set your preconceptions aside.

I think I've got it:

Men love slutty women but you prefer women who are choosy.
You do not prefer slutty women.
Ergo you are not a man.

That does upend my assumptions about you.

That was pretty much where I ended up at too.

 

[DrZoidberg]

I think I've got it:

Men love slutty women but you prefer women who are choosy.
You do not prefer slutty women.
Ergo you are not a man.

That does upend my assumptions about you.

That was pretty much where I ended up at too.

Perhaps this will make it easier:

1) Women who are sexually satisfied are happier and more fun to be around.
2) Women have a much greater capacity for sex than men. So a woman who is your primary partner sleeping with another man isn't going to get in the way of your ability to have sex with her or connect with her emotionally. The reverse is not necessarily true.
3) Men in this lifestyle prefer women with healthy boundaries, who have figured out what they want from life and who don't consent to things they really don't want to do. I'd say it's a crucial skill to master for any woman in this lifestyle or it'll lead to endless drama, conflict and sometimes accusations of sexual assault.
4) A person having more than one partner doesn't mean they will sleep with just anybody.

I do find it strange how you didn't manage to figure it out on your own. All the information could be found in the two messages you were comparing. Were you unable to do it because you were trying hard to misunderstand? That's what it looks like to me.

But in case you where genuinely baffled; there's a classic on open relationships called "The Ethical Slut". It's an easy read. I highly recommend it. The focus in the book is lesbian open relationships, but for whatever reason, it's advice seems to be universally applicable to all humans, and is the most recommended and shared book on open relationships on the market. I'd say it's an awesome book on relationships for anybody, regardless if you are in an open relationship or not. The main selling point of open relationships is rejection. You will get a lot of practice in being rejected, which will give you a lot of information on why you were rejected. Nobody in an open relationship is going to settle for a lover because of a lack of options. Since people who have been in the scene for a long time have had a lot of opportunity to figure out in which situations they get rejected they get better at building healthy and strong emotional connections with those that don't reject them. They become very good and communicating. People who are shit at communicating in this world will spend a lot of time on their own. Hopefully, thinking on why they are alone. And because they will get so much practice on this, they will figure out why they keep getting rejected, can work on this, and won't be alone so much for long. Even people in monogamous relationships benefit from good communication.

The advice in The Ethical Slut for how to build emotional connection between people in any relationship is extremely good. Sexual or otherwise. Since you struggled so much to figure out the above logic puzzle I suspect you will find the book most enlightening.

 

[steve_bank]

A big one for me.

Women arrange their hair so it hangs in front of their face, and then constantly flip it out of the way.

I am beginning to think this is some kind of genetic based mating ritual.

 

[bigfield]

Women arrange their hair so it hangs in front of their face, and then constantly flip it out of the way.

CBS actually interviewed a girl about this a while back:

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjEqT5t7JvQ[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Loren Pechtel]

A big one for me.

Women arrange their hair so it hangs in front of their face, and then constantly flip it out of the way.

I am beginning to think this is some kind of genetic based mating ritual.

Or worse, one of the front desk staff at the doctor's office, she consistently wore her hair partially covering one eye. She didn't flip it out of the way, just went about life like that. Unless she was actually blind in that eye how could she stand it? I can't stand to have hair that can even fall into my field of vision (say, if I'm bent over looking at the innards of a computer.)

 

[Shadowy Man]

A big one for me.

Women arrange their hair so it hangs in front of their face, and then constantly flip it out of the way.

I am beginning to think this is some kind of genetic based mating ritual.

Or worse, one of the front desk staff at the doctor's office, she consistently wore her hair partially covering one eye. She didn't flip it out of the way, just went about life like that. Unless she was actually blind in that eye how could she stand it? I can't stand to have hair that can even fall into my field of vision (say, if I'm bent over looking at the innards of a computer.)

Suffering for fashion.

 

[Rhea]

A big one for me.

Women arrange their hair so it hangs in front of their face, and then constantly flip it out of the way.

I am beginning to think this is some kind of genetic based mating ritual.

I can’t stand hair in my eyes. I will either cut my hair short enough to never reach my eyes, or use hairspray to make sure it never reaches my eyes.

But I don’t think this is a “women” thing. I see men do it as well. Many many of them. I don’t know how they stand it.

 

[steve_bank]

The nurse(female) at mu doctor appointment today had a crew cut.

 

[Toni]

Personally, hair in my face really bothers me. I tend to pull it back or tuck it behind my ears.

But FWIW, here's this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...tor/201706/11-major-flirting-techniques-women

 

[James Brown]

Here's a question for women that I hope doesn't devolve into a stand-off.

To my mind, a front-clasp bra would be easier for a woman to put on and off, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Am I wrong about that, or is there some other reason that most bras are rear-clasp?

This has nothing to do about access for a significant other--just everyday wear.

 

[southernhybrid]

Here's a question for women that I hope doesn't devolve into a stand-off.

To my mind, a front-clasp bra would be easier for a woman to put on and off, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Am I wrong about that, or is there some other reason that most bras are rear-clasp?

This has nothing to do about access for a significant other--just everyday wear.

When a woman wears a bra that clasps in the back, it's really quite simple. She just clasps it in the front, then simply turns the bra around, and pulls the strap over her shoulders.

What I have always thought were repulsive, are those underwire bras, but I won't judge my female peers if that's what they prefer to wear. What works for one woman, doesn't work for all. We should all wear what we find to be the most comfortable, even if that means going braless.

Why do some men wear boxer shorts, while other wear bikini style underwear? There are many styles of underpants for both men and women. Who cares what one chooses to wear? I certainly don't.

 

[Politesse]

Here's a question for women that I hope doesn't devolve into a stand-off.

To my mind, a front-clasp bra would be easier for a woman to put on and off, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Am I wrong about that, or is there some other reason that most bras are rear-clasp?

This has nothing to do about access for a significant other--just everyday wear.

I don't identify as a woman, but that one always made sense to me, who wants a bulky clasp up front? I don't even like ties.