• Welcome to the new Internet Infidels Discussion Board, formerly Talk Freethought.

A new religion!

I'm seeing a divine trinity of bacon, chocolate and weed emerging. Truly god is great. Bacon o akbar. Magni animi est!
 
gmbteach said:
Okay! I have decided to create a new religion.

We will now start worshipping BACON!

Over the next few days I will develop the symbol somehow, but what I envisage is a pigs head, with a halo of pork crackling, and underneath it will be a wreath of crisp streaky bacon!

I know my brother, and at least one teacher aide at my school will join me!

Would you?

You wouldn’t have to go to church! However, you would have to consume the flesh of bacon and give thanks to the poor piggie that gave up its life for it!

Instead of church, regular meetings where the consumption of bacon, and other pork products, are a must, as well as appropriate beverages!

How many of you would join such a religion?
Click to expand...


A couple questions first...

Do we have to go door to door on Saturday mornings spreading the good word about pork belly?

And Canadian bacon...what about Canadian bacon? I personally enjoy it but there might be people who consider it apostasy.
 
Ford said:
gmbteach said:
Okay! I have decided to create a new religion.

We will now start worshipping BACON!

Over the next few days I will develop the symbol somehow, but what I envisage is a pigs head, with a halo of pork crackling, and underneath it will be a wreath of crisp streaky bacon!

I know my brother, and at least one teacher aide at my school will join me!

Would you?

You wouldn’t have to go to church! However, you would have to consume the flesh of bacon and give thanks to the poor piggie that gave up its life for it!

Instead of church, regular meetings where the consumption of bacon, and other pork products, are a must, as well as appropriate beverages!

How many of you would join such a religion?
Click to expand...


A couple questions first...

Do we have to go door to door on Saturday mornings spreading the good word about pork belly?

And Canadian bacon...what about Canadian bacon? I personally enjoy it but there might be people who consider it apostasy.
Click to expand...

Firstly, no, we will not go door to door on Saturday mornings to spread the word. This is because we just ate a lot of bacon fro breakfast and are too sleepy to do anything like that.

Secondly, Canadian bacon is called ham. Don't try and add things into the religion just because you Americans can't use words good.
 
Tom Sawyer said:
Secondly, Canadian bacon is called ham. Don't try and add things into the religion just because you Americans can't use words good.
Click to expand...

When I lived in Canada, many years ago, what we Americans call Canadian bacon was known as "back bacon." That was in Vancouver.
 
T.G.G. Moogly said:
I'm seeing a divine trinity of bacon, chocolate and weed emerging. Truly god is great. Bacon o akbar. Magni animi est!
Click to expand...

Actually, as long as it's Canadian bacon, I might join this cult. Canadian bacon is good on pizza. Can we nominate pizza for Sainthood? Or, at least make it a holy sacrament?
 
CoB-Billoardsm.jpg
 
southernhybrid said:
T.G.G. Moogly said:
I'm seeing a divine trinity of bacon, chocolate and weed emerging. Truly god is great. Bacon o akbar. Magni animi est!
Click to expand...

Actually, as long as it's Canadian bacon, I might join this cult. Canadian bacon is good on pizza. Can we nominate pizza for Sainthood? Or, at least make it a holy sacrament?
Click to expand...

Ham (in whatever form) and pineapple pizza is already a sacrament in the worship of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (Peace Be Upon Her Holy Hooves.) And She has no least objection to weed, or chocolate.

In general, though, worshiping the foods you eat is a foulness unto Her nostrils. As I've tried to convince the followers of that silly floating pasta, there is a special area in the Dark and Drear Spiky Place where those who show excessive gluttony by worshiping their foodstuffs will have it endlessly force-fed to them, forever and ever, or at least until they cheer up and call upon Her omnihumorous mercy. Repent, repent, before it is too late!

Jobar, First Inquisitor of the Invisible Pink Inquisition
 
4321lynx said:
gmbteach

I eat my crackling as 'Chicharrones A la Lima, Peru' :

First a good-sized pile of them cooked with "yerbas buenas" , then fried, and served with fried sliced rounds of sweet potatoes and a salad of raw onions and special hot peppers (sliced jalapenos are a good substitute), and all washed down with copious Crystal lager.
The yerbas buenas are not just 'good herbs', but a specific herb, unobtalnable in Canada, so leave it out or try other herbs to taste.
Eaten regularly like this the crackling makes you forget bacon even exists. :)
Click to expand...
Crackling is good.

My hubby often says that pork belly meat is a fortunate circumstance to the creation of crackling!

- - - Updated - - -

southernhybrid said:
No not bacon! Just call me an infidel because I despise bacon. I might join a religion that worships chocolate as I have a sticker on my refrigerator that says, "If I ever need religion, I'll worship chocolate cake". I'm a very progressive ecumenical believer, so I will be tolerant to the bacon worshipers, as long as they don't force their bacon down my throat. Are you bacon worshipers fundamentalists?
Click to expand...
Aww man, now I am conflicted!
 
Ford said:
gmbteach said:
Okay! I have decided to create a new religion.

We will now start worshipping BACON!

Over the next few days I will develop the symbol somehow, but what I envisage is a pigs head, with a halo of pork crackling, and underneath it will be a wreath of crisp streaky bacon!

I know my brother, and at least one teacher aide at my school will join me!

Would you?

You wouldn’t have to go to church! However, you would have to consume the flesh of bacon and give thanks to the poor piggie that gave up its life for it!

Instead of church, regular meetings where the consumption of bacon, and other pork products, are a must, as well as appropriate beverages!

How many of you would join such a religion?
Click to expand...


A couple questions first...

Do we have to go door to door on Saturday mornings spreading the good word about pork belly?
Click to expand...
heck no! Saturday’s are for resting after consumption of copious amounts of bacon and beer!
And Canadian bacon...what about Canadian bacon? I personally enjoy it but there might be people who consider it apostasy.
Click to expand...

Yes, Canadian Bacon is ok.

- - - Updated - - -

southernhybrid said:
T.G.G. Moogly said:
I'm seeing a divine trinity of bacon, chocolate and weed emerging. Truly god is great. Bacon o akbar. Magni animi est!
Click to expand...

Actually, as long as it's Canadian bacon, I might join this cult. Canadian bacon is good on pizza. Can we nominate pizza for Sainthood? Or, at least make it a holy sacrament?
Click to expand...
Yes. Canadian Bacon is counted, as is streaky, short cut, regular, rind on, rind off etc.
 
Can't recall seeing any Christian butcher shops selling 'the body and blood of Christ' by the pound.
 
Playing now in my skull:


A new religion, that’ll bring you to your knees,
Back Bacon,
If you please.
 
Dear disciples, ahem, every one who Responded!

Thank you so much for taking this new religion with all the seriousness and diligence that it deserves!

ALL HAIL BSCON!!!!!!
 
gmbteach said:
Well, aren’t christians encouraged to eat the ‘flesh’ of christ’s Body? How is this different?
Click to expand...
I don't really support ritual cannibalism, either, but I'd say the big difference is that Jesus isn't nailing OTHER messiahs to the cross for the purpose of eating them.

A pig selling pork seems more like a concentration camp with a Jewish concierge.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom