How Do You Feel about Tipping?

[bilby]

Lets not forget that tipping is also for the tipper. We do it because it makes us feel better, maybe generous, maybe that we can afford to be able to tip. I will often give money to those folks standing on street corners with cardboard signs upon which is scribbled their misfortunes. There is empathy involved.

Giving money to beggars might make you feel good, but being put in a position where they feel it's necessary to beg makes people feel like shit.

It's not a good thing for the beggars. They would rather not have to be asking you for money.

And that likely applies to tipped staff too. They're no doubt delighted if someone is a generous tipper; But that's embedded in an overall lack of dignity in being expected to work for an unknown remuneration that depends entirely on the largess of each customer.

 

[Rhea]

I despise tips and tipping.

No one should have fawn over customers to beg favors to pay their rent.
No one should have to decide between being nice to an asshole or a perv in order to pay the rent, versus being brusque, professional and safe.
No one should have to balance giving the drunk more drinks in order to make enough money for groceries versus cutting off the drunk for the safety of society
No one should have to cringe when the kitchen does something wrong because it blows out your budget.
No one should have to scramble and dodge to avoid the slow shifts because it means you can’t buy medicine.

No, the industries mostly never pay-up when the server gets a below wage night. Yes, every server has to put in an hour before shift and an hour after shift at the $2.13/hour doing prep and clean-up.

You should get paid decently for doing your job well. If you don’t do it well, you should get trained, moved to a more suitable job, or let go.

Tips should be for astonishly good service if you’re inspired; they should be a surprise to the receiver, and no one should be coerced to pay more than the published cost of the good or service.

My 2¢

 

[Loren Pechtel]

The problem is a proliferation of requests for tips in positions that aren't traditionally tipped positions.

 

[bilby]

The another, very vaguely related problem is a proliferation of requests for tips in positions that aren't traditionally tipped positions.

FTFY

 

[abaddon]

The problem is a proliferation of requests for tips in positions that aren't traditionally tipped positions.

That has brought the overall problem into the light. People are now talking about how tipping has "got out of control" due to the proliferation of requests. Now it's in the light, maybe folk will finally talk about how the familiar-feeling ways of our lives still include aristocrats-v-serfs traditions.

Tipping is actually a medieval tradition. Modern middle-class aristocrat-wannabes feel "generous" when they tip, like the good "lords and ladies" have always felt when they dangle carrots before their "servers".

 

[Politesse]

Among my least favorite aspects of everyday life in my country. A number of classes of workers make less than their state's minimum wage, for no other real reason than that their employers write the laws: some agricultural workers, student workers and interns, children working for their families, workers with certain disabilities, and of course all "tipped workers". American "freedom" to be underpaid is mostly governed by the Orwellesque-ly named Fair Labor Standards Act. Employers cry if you suggest changing the FLSA in any way... because it would be unfair to them. Absurd.

 

[Toni]

The ONLY argument against tipping in restaurants is that for waitstaff at higher end establishments, their take income would likely go down. Significantly.

That said, all workers should be paid a living wage.

I only worked one job at a ‘family style’ restaurant, a chain. There was no tipping. The work was awful and I loathed every second I was there. So I tip. Generously. Always did, in part to counter the perception that women are poor tippers. Later, a couple of my kids put in time doing service jobs in restaurants and now, I’d order light in order to be able to afford to tip really well.

In some but not all restaurants, servers are expected to ‘tip out’ hostesses, bidders, and kitchen but that’s often voluntary. Other places pool all tips.

I also ALWAYS tip in cash, no matter how I pay. Same with the person who does my hair. And furniture movers and the paper delivery person. I confess it has never occurred to me to tip the appliance repair people although I do thank them profusely and spread the word about how wonderful they are.

 

[Derec]

Mandatory Mr. Pink.

 

[thebeave]

I'm fairly conventional when it comes to tipping at a restaurant. If the service is good, I'll tip a little extra, and if its subpar, then there's little or no tip. There is a more recent trend to tip those who spend 20 seconds taking and fulfilling your order at a walk up counter. It used to be just a tip jar, which made it feel like tipping was low pressure and you could ignore it, but now its become much more high pressure with the tip amount line posted on the credit card receipt or screen so you have to explicitly acknowledge the tip. I'll admit that's made me a little anxious. I found this comic in today's paper to be spot on for me (especially with inflation so high these days!):

Pearls Before Swine - Tipping

 

[Tigers!]

If a tip is looked for I always give "look after your mum".

If tipping is necessary is some places due to low wages I will do so but am annoyed that I am paying what the employer should be.
I rarely tip for good service as that should be why they work anyway. And yes I have done my time waiting on tables.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

Tip who?

 

[TomC]

I rarely tip for good service as that should be why they work anyway.

Do you make that clear to the staff before they seat you?

If you don't, you're a cheat.
Tom

 

[Ruth Harris]

I rarely tip for good service as that should be why they work anyway. And yes I have done my time waiting on tables.

I truly don't understand your attitude on this. Yes, food service employees want to give good service no matter what - but why are you punishing them financially for something they have no control over? This seems to me that it denigrates the people who do those jobs.

Ruth

 

[TomC]

Yes, food service employees want to give good service no matter what -

What makes you think this?

The good servers I've known do it for money. There's also a bunch of bad servers out there. Tom

 

[Ruth Harris]

Yes, food service employees want to give good service no matter what -

What makes you think this?

The good servers I've known do it for money. There's also a bunch of bad servers out there. Tom

Sure, they work for the money. Everyone does. But the simple truth is that if you don't enjoy the job, you are not going to stay in food service unless you are unable to get any other job. And if you enjoy a job you want to do it well. There are bad employees in every type of job out there; it is not just food service.

Ruth

 

[TomC]

Yes, food service employees want to give good service no matter what -

What makes you think this?

The good servers I've known do it for money. There's also a bunch of bad servers out there. Tom

Sure, they work for the money. Everyone does. But the simple truth is that if you don't enjoy the job, you are not going to stay in food service unless you are unable to get any other job. And if you enjoy a job you want to do it well. There are bad employees in every type of job out there; it is not just food service.

Ruth

If you're good at it you can make really good money.
If you think customers owe you, even if you are crap at the job, you probably need to find a job that isn't so performance based. Those are out there as well.
Tom

 

[Ruth Harris]

Yes, food service employees want to give good service no matter what -

What makes you think this?

The good servers I've known do it for money. There's also a bunch of bad servers out there. Tom

Sure, they work for the money. Everyone does. But the simple truth is that if you don't enjoy the job, you are not going to stay in food service unless you are unable to get any other job. And if you enjoy a job you want to do it well. There are bad employees in every type of job out there; it is not just food service.

Ruth

If you're good at it you can make really good money.
If you think customers owe you, even if you are crap at the job, you probably need to find a job that isn't so performance based. Those are out there as well.
Tom

Ah, I see. I think we are talking at cross purposes here. I was addressing this particular statement:

I rarely tip for good service

That is what I don't understand. Good service should be rewarded; I was not flatly stating that all servers should receive good tips. I apologize for the lack of clarity on my part.

Ruth

 

[Rhea]

I rarely tip for good service as that should be why they work anyway.

Do you make that clear to the staff before they seat you?

If you don't, you're a cheat.
Tom

He’s Australian, so the staff is not expecting a tip.

 

[DBT]

Paid work should not depend tips to achieve a livable wage.

 

[TomC]

I rarely tip for good service as that should be why they work anyway.

Do you make that clear to the staff before they seat you?

If you don't, you're a cheat.
Tom

He’s Australian, so the staff is not expecting a tip.

Oh that's right.
And winter is summer. No wonder they can't tell up from down.

Seriously though, I can't imagine that the service is as good if everyone gets paid the same regardless of how well they do.

Here, in America, big opponents of flat rate service would be good servers. If Wendy runs her butt off taking care of customers and Pat spends most of their time behind the service counter facebooking their friends Wendy will get paid a lot more.
A Lot More.

I've watched this happen.

The thing is, eating out is a splurge for most of us. The difference between a nice experience and sufficient calories to get along is largely the service. A good server is worth a lot, a lousy server isn't worth much. Paying servers based on performance gets good service.

I'll tip, based on performance. I don't think I've ever not tipped. But I remember tipping 3 pennys a couple of times because the service was terrible. I tipped the pennys to make sure that the server didn't think I forgot or that the tip was stolen. It's because you were terrible.
Tom