I feel like that a lot. In this part of the country, we have an old joke: "Chicago has only 2 seasons: Winter and Construction."
Let's just say that by the end of Construction season, I'm ready for the salt trucks.
Officer is a good place to put him. Make sure his division has good enlisted people to clean up after him. "The procedure is not complete until you dispose of the trash panda, sir."OK, using a raccoon to beat a breathalyzer system is a pretty fucking impressive feat for a drunk guy to pull off. That's the kind of innovative go-getter you want to promote into your officer ranks.