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A Texan, we'll call him Duane, comes into some money and decides he'll go back and fulfill his teenage goal of attending college. He meets with the dean of the local college, who signs him up for classes in engineering, math, and logic.
Duane says, "Logic? What the hell's that?"
The dean says, "Let me demonstrate. Do you own a weed-whacker?"
Duane says, "Yep."
The dean says, "From that I deduce you have a lawn, and a fairly decent-sized lawn."
Duane says, "I do!"
The dean says, "That also tells me you own your house."
Duane says, "I do!"
The dean says, "And you are about thirty years of age. Since you own a house, I deduce that you have a family."
Duane says, "That's right!"
The dean says, "I suggest further that you have a wife, and you are heterosexual."
Duane says, "I do! And I am!!"
Later, Duane meets up with his friend Shane at a bar. He excitedly tells him about his day on campus, and the wonderful world of logic.
Shane says, "What the hell is logic?"
Duane says, "Let me demonstrate. Do you own a weed-whacker?"
Shane says, "Nope."
Duane says, "Then you're gay."
 
ideologyhunter said:
A Texan, we'll call him Duane, comes into some money and decides he'll go back and fulfill his teenage goal of attending college. He meets with the dean of the local college, who signs him up for classes in engineering, math, and logic.
Duane says, "Logic? What the hell's that?"
The dean says, "Let me demonstrate. Do you own a weed-whacker?"
Duane says, "Yep."
The dean says, "From that I deduce you have a lawn, and a fairly decent-sized lawn."
Duane says, "I do!"
The dean says, "That also tells me you own your house."
Duane says, "I do!"
The dean says, "And you are about thirty years of age. Since you own a house, I deduce that you have a family."
Duane says, "That's right!"
The dean says, "I suggest further that you have a wife, and you are heterosexual."
Duane says, "I do! And I am!!"
Later, Duane meets up with his friend Shane at a bar. He excitedly tells him about his day on campus, and the wonderful world of logic.
Shane says, "What the hell is logic?"
Duane says, "Let me demonstrate. Do you own a weed-whacker?"
Shane says, "Nope."
Duane says, "Then you're gay."
Click to expand...

From Norm Macdonald's old joke.

 
A change to British customs was made very recently.

Upon a citizen reaching their 100th birthday they received a meessage from the monarch.

Now the men will still receive the 100th birthday greeting from Charles III.

Women will now recieve a picture from Andrew, formerly known as Prince, with them on their 16th birthday.
 
ideologyhunter said:
What was the first great mental achievement of our caveman ancestors?
- Learning to identify hookers at a time when all women wore animal prints.
Click to expand...
I think it was overcoming the distinction of “clubs” as tools of seduction, from “clubs” where they gathered for martinis.
 
Adam Smith and Karl Marx walk into a pub.
The innkeeper asks Adam Smith what he would like.
"A beer please'
The innkeeper returns with the beer and asks Karl Marx what he wants.
"I'll have what he is having"
 
Ben Franklin and George Washington walk into a McDonalds. They spot Trump at a corner table, working on a mound of french fries and making feeding trough noises. Franklin thumps him on the shoulder and says, "Sir, I am here to school you in the true meaning of democracy."
Trump studies his face, frowns, takes out his wallet and thumbs through it. He pulls out a hundred and throws it on the table. "I thought I recognized you. Good joke, too. Both of us know the 'true meaning.' Money talks, bullshit walks. Now, goodbye, I'm eating."
Washington thumps him on his other shoulder and says, "Sir, you mistake the meaning of democracy."
Trump studies his face, frowns, and thumbs through his wallet. Finally he says, "Who the fuck are you?"
 
It’s been scientifically proven that a woman can be satisfied with only three and a half inches.


Visa, Mastercard or American Express 😀

 
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