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A four-year-old asks his father, "Daddy, where does poo come from?"
The dad hesitates and thinks, okay, this is where I'm going to be a supercool dad, who raises a kid with no hangups. He asked a question, and I'll give him a straight-up honest answer, with no baby talk. So he patiently explains digestion to the kid, then the intestinal tract, and finally excretion. The four-year-old's eyes get wider and wider and he says, "So what about Tigger?"
 
A waitress notices the man slowly sliding down his chair until he disappears under the table. The woman, however, looks completely unconcerned!

Concerned, the waitress whispers to her, “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table!”

The woman calmly replies, “No, actually… my husband has just walked in the front door!”
 
A big city mayor has a romp with a prostitute. Then he gets out of bed and makes a big show of counting out four fifties and stacking them on her dresser top. She says, "Oh, Mr. Mayor, you don't have to do that. Just leave me twenty, honey."
The mayor says, "Twenty bucks? You can hardly pay your bills on twenty a pop."
She says, "Well, that's true, but I do a little blackmail on the side."
 
The doctor says to Jim, "What you're describing to me is a classic case of erectile dysfunction. But, given your age, there's hope. One treatment involves diet and plenty of exercise."
Jim says, "Have you seen my wife? You think she's going on a diet or exercising?"
 
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