Men, have you ever been falsely accused of violence to women?

[TSwizzle]

Christ, its one thing to have a look, its another thing to stare. Most people who dress up nicely want people to look. Staring is never polite.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky !

 

[Bronzeage]

Women dress primarily for themselves. But even if it were true that it's all about men, that doesn't mean it's for all men. Meaning, don't be a clueless, arrogant, unaware fucking dick and assume it's for you. It's probably not. Control yourselves. For fuck's sake, you're not feral dogs, are you?

High heels are for yourself? cause they are so comfortable, right?

Bras worn by smaller breasted women are for what now?

Nope, we're not ALL feral dogs (just a whole lot of us). Your not a bitch in heat with your tail up in the air all the time, are you?

I swear, I am not calling you a bitch. Just making a caparison.

OOOH we've got a live one here. Part of this overall conversation is about how insecure little boys bond and feel powerful through cruelty to girls and women. Thanks for the demonstration.

Anyway, I have been called much worse by better men than you. Is that all you've got is abuse? Did a female look at you today without smiling or something?

Maybe you should just smile more yourself instead of reacting testerically to things women say and do. We'd be a lot nicer to you if you did. Then you wouldn't have to dream up microscopic "offenses" in the face of all the abuse women are telling you about.

One of the first things a boy learns when he starts to want the attention of girls is the cold hard truth that girls want attention from guys they find attractive and a rebuffed approach means you are not attractive enough.

Not every boy fully absorbs this lesson. They see a woman who is attractive in her own right, but she has dressed to accentuate her attractiveness. They see her as the white van with the "Free Candy" sign on the side. Of course, there's no candy for them.

They go away mad and resentful. Whatever the reasons she did not find him attractive, anger and resentment compound it all, which starts a bitter downward spiral. Eventually they hit bottom, fully assured that no woman would have them, but it's not his fault. It's a general flaw in women.

 

[ruby sparks]

One of the first things a boy learns when he starts to want the attention of girls is the cold hard truth that girls want attention from guys they find attractive and a rebuffed approach means you are not attractive enough.

Not every boy fully absorbs this lesson. They see a woman who is attractive in her own right, but she has dressed to accentuate her attractiveness. They see her as the white van with the "Free Candy" sign on the side. Of course, there's no candy for them.

There is some truth in this I think.

I'm pretty sure I watched a video experiment recently where two guys, one handsome and posing as wealthy and the other not either (but otherwise decent), approached women in bars in the same way and tried to engage them in conservation, delivering the same lines. Guess which guy was generally considered a creep/pest and which wasn't.

 

[Angry Floof]

OOOH we've got a live one here. Part of this overall conversation is about how insecure little boys bond and feel powerful through cruelty to girls and women. Thanks for the demonstration.

Anyway, I have been called much worse by better men than you. Is that all you've got is abuse? Did a female look at you today without smiling or something?

Maybe you should just smile more yourself instead of reacting testerically to things women say and do. We'd be a lot nicer to you if you did. Then you wouldn't have to dream up microscopic "offenses" in the face of all the abuse women are telling you about.

One of the first things a boy learns when he starts to want the attention of girls is the cold hard truth that girls want attention from guys they find attractive and a rebuffed approach means you are not attractive enough.

Not every boy fully absorbs this lesson. They see a woman who is attractive in her own right, but she has dressed to accentuate her attractiveness. They see her as the white van with the "Free Candy" sign on the side. Of course, there's no candy for them.

They go away mad and resentful. Whatever the reasons she did not find him attractive, anger and resentment compound it all, which starts a bitter downward spiral. Eventually they hit bottom, fully assured that no woman would have them, but it's not his fault. It's a general flaw in women.

Yeah, we seem to be raising a lot of boys to bring their emotional development to a screeching halt at around fifth grade.

 

[Toni]

Why does it make you feel bad if a woman adjusts her clothing to be less revealing when she passes you?

because I take it as an accusation of being someone I am not. Now that I think about it more, I have never noticed this with complete strangers on the street... like a woman just passing by... I only notice this happen in the work place... like at the beginning of a conversation.
I think maybe that is why... I don't strike up conversation with strangers, but I do with coworkers... so the passer-by is not being approached by me.. even if I give a quick glance in their direction (of their eyes) and a half-smile acknowledging their existence and offering a non-verbal "good morning" I don't get that behavior.

I am starting to feel less annoyed about this after listening to some responders here.

Since I am realizing that it is pretty much only people that know me in the workplace, and pretty much only when being engaged in conversation... I am thinking maybe (just maybe) they think I am hot and want to make sure they are looking attractive to me by adjusting their clothing.

Naw, that ain't it either. Its a cover-up for sure.

Normally, at a work meeting, I do adjust my clothing a bit, regardless of who the meeting is with or whether it's a group or a one on one meeting. Whether or not the others in the meeting are male or female. I don't think I've ever noticed a man doing this. Not unless someone pointed out he missed a button or something.

Within my actual work unit? We all wear lab coats and PPE so.....that would be no.

If it happens regularly at work, I think I'd be inclined to do a bit of self examination to see where my eyes landed. Or if I tend to be critical of the appearances of female coworkers. In which case, I think you should probably make some adjustments of your own.

But hey, I'm not your co-worker so I can't say. But it's a bit like: If everyone asks why you are in such a bad mood, maybe you should do a bit of a self check to see if indeed you are in a bad mood or are somehow being less pleasant than normal.

 

[ruby sparks]

One of the first things a boy learns when he starts to want the attention of girls is the cold hard truth that girls want attention from guys they find attractive and a rebuffed approach means you are not attractive enough.

Not every boy fully absorbs this lesson. They see a woman who is attractive in her own right, but she has dressed to accentuate her attractiveness. They see her as the white van with the "Free Candy" sign on the side. Of course, there's no candy for them.

There is some truth in this I think.

I'm pretty sure I watched a video experiment recently where two guys, one handsome and posing as wealthy and the other not either (but otherwise decent), approached women in bars in the same way and tried to engage them in conservation, delivering the same lines. Guess which guy was generally considered a creep/pest and which wasn't.

I couldn't find it, but this one is amusing. She's polite, but refuses his offer of a date. Until she finds out he's rich, then she's all over him. Even after that she refers to him as a rich retard when texting her friend:

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apKNLmAJfq8[/YOUTUBE]

A bit off topic. Sorry.

But hey. Women, huh?

 

[TSwizzle]

I couldn't find it, but this one is amusing. She's polite, but refuses his offer of a date. Until she finds out he's rich, then she's all over him. Even after that she refers to him as a rich retard when texting her friend:


A bit off topic. Sorry.

But hey. Women, huh?

Jeezus that was so fake.

 

[Toni]

OOOH we've got a live one here. Part of this overall conversation is about how insecure little boys bond and feel powerful through cruelty to girls and women. Thanks for the demonstration.

Anyway, I have been called much worse by better men than you. Is that all you've got is abuse? Did a female look at you today without smiling or something?

Maybe you should just smile more yourself instead of reacting testerically to things women say and do. We'd be a lot nicer to you if you did. Then you wouldn't have to dream up microscopic "offenses" in the face of all the abuse women are telling you about.

One of the first things a boy learns when he starts to want the attention of girls is the cold hard truth that girls want attention from guys they find attractive and a rebuffed approach means you are not attractive enough.

Not every boy fully absorbs this lesson. They see a woman who is attractive in her own right, but she has dressed to accentuate her attractiveness. They see her as the white van with the "Free Candy" sign on the side. Of course, there's no candy for them.

They go away mad and resentful. Whatever the reasons she did not find him attractive, anger and resentment compound it all, which starts a bitter downward spiral. Eventually they hit bottom, fully assured that no woman would have them, but it's not his fault. It's a general flaw in women.

Yeah, we seem to be raising a lot of boys to bring their emotional development to a screeching halt at around fifth grade.

If they got left back enough times that they are 13 and still in fifth grade.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

I had a woman pre-accuse me of rape once, though it was mostly her husband's doing.

When I was younger, my then girlfriend (adventurous sort) took me to a sex club. Unbeknownst to both of us, there were swingers there. A guy asked us if he could touch my girlfriend, and before she could respond, his wife / girlfriend shot daggers at me and said no, don't even think about touching her how dare I (and she added some racial slurs). We weren't swingers. We were going to say no. She then babbled something about me wanting to rape her. I was silent the whole time. My own girlfriend had some nasty words for her and we left.

 

[Elixir]

Never once has any woman accused me of anything inappropriate, let alone rape.
That certainly didn't reduce my promiscuity back in the 60's and 70's... but the AIDS epidemic put an abrupt stop to that sort of thing for me.
Maybe that's part of the problem? Men ain't gettin' any the way they used to?
I see certain posters here lamenting that today, though the same posters also exhibit personality flaws that might better explain it in their case.

 

[Toni]

I had a woman pre-accuse me of rape once, though it was mostly her husband's doing.

When I was younger, my then girlfriend (adventurous sort) took me to a sex club. Unbeknownst to both of us, there were swingers there. A guy asked us if he could touch my girlfriend, and before she could respond, his wife / girlfriend shot daggers at me and said no, don't even think about touching her how dare I (and she added some racial slurs). We weren't swingers. We were going to say no. She then babbled something about me wanting to rape her. I was silent the whole time. My own girlfriend had some nasty words for her and we left.

Wait---you (both of you) went to a sex club and didn't think you'd run into swingers?

Did you not know that it was a sex club? Did you not know that a sex club was for people to swing? And that likely...drugs were involved????

 

[rousseau]

Never once has any woman accused me of anything inappropriate, let alone rape.
That certainly didn't reduce my promiscuity back in the 60's and 70's... but the AIDS epidemic put an abrupt stop to that sort of thing for me.
Maybe that's part of the problem? Men ain't gettin' any the way they used to?
I see certain posters here lamenting that today, though the same posters also exhibit personality flaws that might better explain it in their case.

Likely a combination of visibility / changing social norms / bigger populations on college campuses.

I'd assume sexual assault is less common today than at any point in history, but only now are the cases being publicized and amplified. I'm guessing in prior eras it was mostly hidden in the bedroom, now there's a public reckoning.

Views on women's role in society and their status as.. erm.. more than cooks and cleaners, has also changed enormously. Most men I know today are pretty much on board with gender equality, even if they're not strict feminists. And so sexual assault just doesn't fly like it used to, even if it's assuredly still a problem.

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

A woman who dresses provocatively for a date with her man does so not only for his approval but also, at least subconsciously, because knowing that other men are finding her attractive boosts her man's ego at least as much as hers. I've had more than one friend whose husband or boyfriend wanted them to dress much more sexy than they were comfortable with when they went out to certain functions. As a side note: these men appeared controlling and possibly...bordering on abusive as well.

It's true that many of us men get satisfaction knowing that we're the envy of other men because of her. I did, in a petty sort of way, but like many unattractive feelings, they do pop up on their own at times.

I never have asked my woman to dress beyond her comfort zone outside of the occasional role-playing budoir thing. And if she's not into it, we figure out what we're into together.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

Wait---you (both of you) went to a sex club and didn't think you'd run into swingers?

Did you not know that it was a sex club? Did you not know that a sex club was for people to swing? And that likely...drugs were involved????

Drugs were not involved at the place, other than a little alcohol, and not much of it. And no, we didn't think it was a swingers club. It isn't usually, though it is always clothing optional. It was my first time there.