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Movie alphabet

 
 
 
Z

Sex in the Czity

Shameless and blatant Eastern European rip-off of the film Sex and the City. The only difference was that the women had deeper voices. It was awful, boring, almost never funny... and a complete waste of time. Just like the movie Sex and the City. Interesting fact, Melania Trump, before meeting her bulbous mango shaded walrus of a husband, can be seen hustling a trick as a hooker in the background in one of the scenes. No, she was a character in the movie.

-1 of 4
 
A

Sax in the City

Biography of Steve Sax, former second baseman of the NY Yankees and LA Dodgers. A lot of the story dealt with what I presume was his legal problems when he was caught stealing 30 times in 1983. I'll be honest, I wasn't paying too much attention. I hate the Yankees and the Dodgers. And I had never heard of Steve Sax before.

2 of 4
 
Z

Sex in the Ziti

Behind-the-scenes tales of romance and graphic intercourse in the most famous NYC Italian restaurant's kitchen, fridge, coatroom, office, drystores, steam table, ventilation duct, wine closet, and under a tzble during a banquet.
 
Y

From the director of Sex in the Ziti comes,

Sex in the Yeti

Behind-the-scenes tales of romance and graphic intercourse in the most famous Russian forest, trees, rocks abandoned industrial buildings, featuring an intrepid male hunter and his female bigfoot quarry.
(Also features a tzble!)
 
W

Sex in the Witty

Four former James Bond actors find themselves in an afterlife waystation. The gods will allow only one of them into Heaven...whoever performs the most creative interpretation of the double entendres that feature so heavily in the franchise. They each get a room, a bed, a costume-filled wardrobe, a British Flag, 25 pounds Sterling, three succubi, a camel, and a dwarf.
'We start with “That’s because you know what I can do with my little finger,” please, the Judge hisses.
 
Bex in the City

David Beckham jumps from Man. U to Man. City which causes a riot in Manchester. Bex tries to subdue the storm with a Spice Girls reunion gig, but makes matters worse.

1/5
 
Monster Bunter
In a world behind ours, monsters exist. One mortal human finds a way to, well, not fight them, really, but knock them back a couple feet, then run like fuck for the dugout.
 
Monster Hutter
In a world behind ours, monsters exist. One mortal human tries to build a bridge between us and the monsters by erecting shelters. Biiiiiiiiiiig shelters.

Turns out monsters are already rain-proof and wind-resistant, so they don't need huts. But they do really enjoy knocking ddown structures, so it kinda works.
 
Monster Hut

Decent docucomedy about a man (Ray Bolger, resuscitated) who loses half of his sizable inheritance at the horse races and comes upon the idea of opening a cafe that specializes in selling gourmet designer cookies along with the fancy go-juice. All employees are obliged to wear large, shaggy blue uniform costumes and are encouraged to speak in a loud gravelly voice, as well as to 'eat' cookies ravenously, making sure that none of them actually go into their mouths, but fall all over their uniforms, the floor, and the customers instead. Also starring Harpo Marx (resuscitated) and Michael J. Fox. What a hoot!
 
Monster Nut

An intrepid internist attempts to cure a record case of orchitis (testicular swelling).
 
Okay, starting over with A.

Rad Heat Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Russian cop on the trail of an infamous drug dealer. He goes undercover as an international skateboard champion.
 
B

Red Beat -

Gripping docudrama about the life of radical Socialist Zionist poet Irving Melvish Mountjoy (Robert Downey Jr) and his difficulties trying to awaken interest in the composition of avant garde limericks in 1950's New York.
 
C

Red Cheat A comedy about Lenin's October Revolution. Dudley Moore and Peter Cook as a pair of con men. They enjoy initial success selling fake American imports to the Tsar, such as a Cherokee Mustache Demineralizer, or The Cowboy Chili Cactus. But they soon face arrest for fraud. In a desperate bid to distract the forces of law, they spontaneously initiate a revolution, overturning the entire government by accident.
At the end, they are amazed and ashamed at how low thry stooped to save their sorry skins. They make a pact to improve their lives, their morals, and their adherence to the laws governing international commerce.
Ten seconds later, Lenin is thanking them for their contributions.
"Our pleasure. Say, nice mustache. Too bad about the mineral deposits...."
 
E
Reed Heat
Will Ferrell as a pan flautist taking the stage at the less-famous 60's music festival, Stonestock.
 
G

Reg Heat - A story around the regulations dealing with any random soldier's affection with Donald Trump's daughter.

H

Red Heath - A story about a shrubland habitat's affection with Donald Trump's daughter.

I

Rid Heat - First working title for film Frozen
 
J
Jed Heat
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills discover, and are discovered by, a new millionaire in town. Bit of a hillbilly, but a rich hillbilly.
 
K

Red Keats - A story about a romantic poetry writers' affection for... oh... you get it already.

L

LED Heat - An autobiography about one of the worst inventors in American history, who for decades tried to use LEDs as a heat source to warm houses using minimal amounts of electricity.
 
M

Med Heat
An attempt to rip-off Animal House (called an "homage" in the press packet), but concentrating on trainees in the Navy pipeline for hospital corpsmen.
 
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