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Movie alphabet

Q

QAnon

Set in a futuristic world where privacy and anonymity no longer exist, the plot follows a troubled cannibal (Owen) who comes across a young woman (Seyfried) who has evaded the government's transparency system. She proves surprisingly tough when boiled. The film was released internationally as an "Eatflix Original" public service, to promote their steaming service (which reportedly makes things more tender). In the United Kingdom and Ireland, the film was released in cafés by Appetite Film Distribution and through on-demand by vending machine Company Canteen One in May 2018.
 
R

Rairplane
Backstory:
The Zucker Brothers got really, really high one Friday, and decided to look up fan commentary on their movie. Due to a typo, they discovered the rectoanal inhibitory reflex (RAIR). It's essentially the ability to evaluate the pressure you feel and discriminate between fart and shit.
They remember giggling over this for three hours, then woke up the next Tuesday. With a script.

Plot:
Leslie Nielson stars as a NASA doctor performing experiments involving astronauts and their inability to tell what they may be about to do in their pants.
Gathering 140 test subjects who suffer from a rare RAIR disorder at high altitudes, they fly to Cape Canaveral for testing of new micro-gravity underwear with gas/waste discriminatory technology, call Blow-Or-Go.
Inflight turbulence leads to some pretty shitty scenes...

Running gags:
Nurse Pooty always refers to the disorder as dosordare. "They have the rare RAIR disordare in the air, Dr. Kildare!"
Half the time, the pilot's name (Thurston Bowell the Third) is pronounced 'the turd.'
All the asstronauts are named...well, you can probably guess.
 
Keith&Co. said:
R

Rairplane
Backstory:
The Zucker Brothers got really, really high one Friday, and decided to look up fan commentary on their movie. Due to a typo, they discovered the rectoanal inhibitory reflex (RAIR). It's essentially the ability to evaluate the pressure you feel and discriminate between fart and shit.
They remember giggling over this for three hours, then woke up the next Tuesday. With a script.

Plot:
Leslie Nielson stars as a NASA doctor performing experiments involving astronauts and their inability to tell what they may be about to do in their pants.
Gathering 140 test subjects who suffer from a rare RAIR disorder at high altitudes, they fly to Cape Canaveral for testing of new micro-gravity underwear with gas/waste discriminatory technology, call Blow-Or-Go.
Inflight turbulence leads to some pretty shitty scenes...

Running gags:
Nurse Pooty always refers to the disorder as dosordare. "They have the rare RAIR disordare in the air, Dr. Kildare!"
Half the time, the pilot's name (Thurston Bowell the Third) is pronounced 'the turd.'
All the asstronauts are named...well, you can probably guess.
Click to expand...

Review:
onestar.jpg
No matter how you slice it, this film STINKS!
 

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T

Star Warts

Lucas redoes the legend, this time as a retelling of King Arthur.

Lonely preteen Arthur, nicknamed Wart by his peers, is a serf in his uncle's moisture mine. He stumbles across, and accidentally pulls, the Lightsaber In The Stone.

Then he gathers knights, both valiant and slightly tarnished, and a wizard named Obi Merlin, to help him rescue the princess and claim the throne of the galaxy.
 
U

The Wild Bench

When Miss Stainsby sends young Lachlan to sit outside the principal's office for bad behaviour she doesn't anticipate a violent backlash from every kid he finds when he gets there.
 
V

The Semen Samurai

Toshiro Mifune stars as a microscopic sperm protecting an ovum from 350,000,000 would-be invaders trying to pierce its vitelline envelope. He gathers six others to help him, but at the last minute he realizes that they are hopelessly outnumbered so he abandons his six recruits and invades the ovum himself. In a tragic turn of events, he succeeds in fertilizing the egg but the raging 350,000,006-strong mob prevents it from attaching to its food source and it is therefore spontaneously aborted.
 
W

Singing in the Wain

Simple minded, but possessing a voice of exquisite clarity and beauty, a young woman in the 18thC entertains the other gatherers at haymaking time and is heard by a passing impresario who persuades her to go with him to London to perform on stage. She is subsequently used and abandoned. Critics gave it 5 stars for cinematography and sound production and none at all for the banality of the plotline.
 
X

eX Shaft X

In the tenth movie in the franchise, the ten former wives and significant girlfriends of deceased former detective John Shaft (Samuel Jackson in a couple of flashbacks) uncomfortably join forces to save John's grand-daughter, Jane Shaft (Letitia Wright), from an African prince exploiting her and her inventions.

And if you didn't get ALL the jokes in the title, don't worry. They'll explain about John being an ex-cop, ex-living, and his excesses with all his ex-s about ten times, along with one joke about Malcolm X being called Malcolm Ten, so every possible joke is Xplained.

Look on YouTube for SNL's parody of Monty Python's "this is an ex-parrot" sketch done a movie review of eX Shaft X. Or don't, I'm a movie reviewer, not a choreographer.
 
Z

The mask of Zzzzzzorro

An elderly gentleman's dementia proceeds unabated until he becomes immersed in a fantasy wherein he thinks he is a dashing, sword-wielding hero in the Mexican war for independence.
The staff at the nursing home is forced to invent stories every night that are compatible with his delusion, in order to convince him to put on his CPAP device.
 
A

The A-Men

Christian Broadcasting attempt to cash in on the superhero trend AND try to prop up observant members of yhe faithful as icons for today's youth.
As always, when art takes a back seat to message, whether political or religious, the result suffers. If you want a theme, there are many to choose from. If you need to send a message, use Gmail.

For instance, there's a total of 15 minutes of fight scenes in the movie, while Professor Cross (subtle!) spends 22 minutes explaining how the Prosperity Gospel helps them fund all the superheroing.

Or, they say 15 times that the A-Men are open to all, but spend 24 minutes of screen time rejecting applicants from Utah, Ireland, Italy, LA, Frisco, and Portland.

Give it a miss.
 
Keith&Co. said:
A

The A-Men

Christian Broadcasting attempt to cash in on the superhero trend AND try to prop up observant members of yhe faithful as icons for today's youth.
As always, when art takes a back seat to message, whether political or religious, the result suffers. If you want a theme, there are many to choose from. If you need to send a message, use Gmail.

For instance, there's a total of 15 minutes of fight scenes in the movie, while Professor Cross (subtle!) spends 22 minutes explaining how the Prosperity Gospel helps them fund all the superheroing.

Or, they say 15 times that the A-Men are open to all, but spend 24 minutes of screen time rejecting applicants from Utah, Ireland, Italy, LA, Frisco, and Portland.

Give it a miss.
Click to expand...

Seriously? Not Professor Xmas? This has potential!
 
B

Lack Panther

An MCU short. Documentary of the efforts to determine how to go forward with more Black Panther movies without Chadwick Boseman. A new actor as T'Challa, or give the kingdom, and the supersuit, to his sister Shuri? What's odd about this doc is how they give plenty of time to the pros AND cons of all the choices available.

Except for the critics who think that 'diversity' in Hollywood means that there should be more white people in Wakanda. They get about 58 seconds. Blink and you miss it. We recommend blinking.
 
C

Ineption

Set in what was at the time of its release a fictional dystopian American future, corporate espionage criminals are able to implant ideas in a person's subconscious by accessing their dreams. They target a narcissistic, egomaniacal tycoon (and TV show host) and convince him to believe that he can run the country.
 
ruby sparks said:
Set in what was at the time of its release a fictional
Click to expand...
My facorite TV Guide listing was for a movie about the first moon landing, filmed before the first moon landing. They described it as 'Science, no longer fiction...'

D

Bridget Jones iary.

Bridget (Renée Zellweger) navigates modern life, keeping track of things in her journal. She will write anything down, mostly so people will see that her journal's cover is marked "iary."
Most people ask, and she shrugs, saying she bought it cheap as 'damaged goods.'
When Hugh Grant asks about it, though, she says, "Well, I have been trying to get the 'D' for a while, now." He either doesn't get the innuendo, or is too British to comment, out of fear that it isn't innuendo, and her line fails.
But, the guy who delivers her pizza, later, sees the journal, asks the question, gets the joke, compliments her wit, and nails her on the be-, on the -avenport, under the bay win-ow, and on the carpet, -oggy-style.
 
E

Don't Look New

Submerged in grief at the loss of a child, a couple try to return to normal living. They go back to work, both being designers by trade. They begin to notice a series of path crossings with 2 sisters which coincide with elements of their work are going to pot, which lasts long enough to be clear that it is sabotage. Only projects which are clearly innovations or extremely fashion forward go awry. When the wife discovers she is pregnant it turns really nasty.
 
F

Twi-flight

Girl, Bella, moves to Orks, PA. Encounters a boy with a secret. Every sundown he turns into a bat. Wings thru the night, dropping a heavy trail of glitter. Asks her to come glitter thru the skies with him.
 
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