My experiences that suggest an intelligent force exists

[excreationist]

Anyway I am seeing a lot of mental health professionals regularly.

Good. Please listen to them better than you've been listening to us.

Ok. BTW I mentioned that in the past I had played "Alter Ego" (available for many platforms) and that I tried being a millionaire and was a female and tried to have kids. She was worried and asked "do you want to be a woman!?". I said it was just a game and that it was good to see other people's point of view. Earlier I said I wanted to skip breakfast (to do 16:8 intermittent fasting) and she was totally against it. I'd put on about 4 kg in the last month since I wasn't allowed to do any fasting any more and I was still eating some high calorie foods. My psychiatrist was also worried that I quit my job but my case worker said it wasn't impulsive. (since the ECT I think the programming skills I have are about 10% of what I need) She was also concerned about my drooling in my sleep, incontinence, tremor, being hard to understand (she said she wanted yes or no answers), etc.

And have you considered taking a break from fiction?

I've been watching educational things (like astrophysics, geometry, AI, computer/mobile hardware) and also Bart Ehrman (an agnostic Biblical professor). He investigates the historical Jesus as opposed to assuming the Bible is 100% infallible. I don't see the harm in watching THHGTTG or other fictional TV shows and movies.

Normally, I don't tell people what to read, but in your case I wonder if it would be advisable for you to get a bit more grounding in reality until your condition improves. I found this book to be very enlightening.

https://www.amazon.com/Mapping-Mind-Rita-Carter/dp/0520266285

It is US$22 + postage and I'm broke. There doesn't seem to be a kindle version. I also find it boring. I'm more interested in things like fasting (well now I'm over that), Bible debates, raising toddlers (I live with one), VR (such as watching 360 videos in Youtube), music, Lego (including the Lego Boost robotics set), socialising with friends and family and my wife, video game trailers/playthroughs, 9gag, Facebook, Udemy including 3 in-depth writing courses, programming courses like PHP, etc. With all of that I don't have the time to read that book.

About "grounding in reality":
I think I am more grounded in reality than many Christians - they can believe in miracles - I mean I just have a hunch about forces that intervene in small ways.

Remember that when I was in hospital I believed that they attempted to poison me in multiple ways including poison gas, and that maybe the earth is flat and maybe Mormonism is true, etc.

BTW I did an introductory psychology subject at university and got a HD (that book you recommended seems related).

 

[Sarpedon]

Good, I'm glad.

You don't need to tell all the details, its really none of our business. All we are concerned about is that you are getting help, and you are, so we are pleased.

With regard to only one thing you mentioned, the difficulty communicating, I understand your doctor's point, in that you have a habit of talking around in circles and bringing up points where it is difficult to see the relation to the topic. I'm not sure I agree that she shouldn't listen to your reasons and demand a yes or no answer, but it is sometimes hard to understand what you are saying. If your are interested in writing courses, you might focus on that, to improve your ability to express yourself clearly. This would help both here and with your therapy.

As far as the fasting thing goes, I think that is a fad anyway. In the last few years I've lost 30 pounds (around 12 kg) simply by adopting more healthy habits. These fad diets are simply a replacement for things people don't want to do: eat healthy and exercise. Have you tried what is called "forest bathing?" Not a fad, it is simply periodic walks in the forest, which is psychologically soothing as well as good exercise.

 

[excreationist]

Well yesterday my obsession to count Connect 4 sets went to the next level....
https://sky-walker.net/temp/4connect4.jpg


I had a appointment at a TAFE library and noticed a fake connect 4 set on the table that me and my friend were waiting at. So I counted the pieces - there were a couple missing so I took a photo. Then I saw another set and it also had some missing pieces. Then I asked for more sets and they had two more. Overall there were two missing yellow pieces and seven missing blue pieces. Then my case worker arrived. Then the person I had an appointment with arrived 10 minutes early so I asked if I could take another minute. I got my case worker to take a photo because my hands are too shakey. After the appointment the sets were still there. I told the librarian that I can make complete sets - so I made 3 complete sets. When I was initially putting the pieces into little containers the pieces flew everywhere - maybe that's why there are so many missing pieces.

Then later that day I saw the huge connect 4 set in the shopping centre. As usual there were kids using it. Then I went there again at about 5pm because I needed to get my phone fixed. I did my usual thing where I put pieces in the set and there was a huge number of missing pieces. I didn't bother taking a photo on my wife's phone.

Then I was talking to my sister - she thinks the piece counts are significant. She also thinks her seeing "444" in a number plate is significant - it involves a triplet, and she says in the Bible "4" means "door".

 

[excreationist]

Edit: will talk about fasting later

 

[excreationist]

.....As far as the fasting thing goes, I think that is a fad anyway. In the last few years I've lost 30 pounds (around 12 kg) simply by adopting more healthy habits. These fad diets are simply a replacement for things people don't want to do: eat healthy and exercise. Have you tried what is called "forest bathing?" Not a fad, it is simply periodic walks in the forest, which is psychologically soothing as well as good exercise.

As far as intermittent fasting goes, it has only become popular in the last couple of years:
https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=all&geo=US&q=intermittent fasting

It also has other benefits besides weight loss - "autophagy"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mKvLQxaTvo

About some top athletes that have one meal a day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEv3n44vPVQ

Also it makes the brain run on ketones rather than glucose - some people say that allows better "mental focus". But for me the medical experts thought it was the cause of my manic episode so I'm not allowed to skip breakfast.

 

[excreationist]

Where I live people can get 10 cents per can if they recycle them. I had a bag of about 8 cans that me and my wife were taking to my parents (since they want to earn some more money). I also put my NIV and tiny Gideons Bible in the bag. I assumed the cans would be empty since when I drink cans I drink every last drop. But there was quite a bit of coke in them still. The two special Bibles got significan water/coke damage. I guess it could be worse. The reason I put them in the bag was in case there was some rain when we arrived at the house.

 

[excreationist]

....With regard to only one thing you mentioned, the difficulty communicating, I understand your doctor's point, in that you have a habit of talking around in circles and bringing up points where it is difficult to see the relation to the topic....

Perhaps that comes from a book I read called "Talk Language" by Allan Pease which seems to be out of print (but I'm ordering another copy). It talked about including "free information" - I think that is so it is easy for the other person to continue a social conversation.

 

[excreationist]

My mental health workers didn't want me to fast at all - they didn't even want me to skip breakfast... I thought the cause of my mania was me missing out on sleep - and I can now have sleeping tablets if I am having trouble sleeping.

So anyway this video says:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DghrZNUP5vo&feature=youtu.be&t=1598

Fasting can cause "increased levels of alertness, mood improvement, a subjective feeling of well-being and even occasionally euphoria..... some find they sleep less during their fast". So it looks like it helped cause my manic episode after all.

 

[Sarpedon]

My sleep therapist suggested a calming down period before bed, with low lighting and a low excitement activity. Also, if I couldn't get to sleep, instead of tossing and turning, to get up and do something boring, again with low lighting, then try again.

 

[excreationist]

BTW a guy at church that works at a Christian book shop said that sometimes books are partially upside down or partially in a different language...

My sleep therapist suggested a calming down period before bed, with low lighting and a low excitement activity. Also, if I couldn't get to sleep, instead of tossing and turning, to get up and do something boring, again with low lighting, then try again.

The anti-psychotic clozapine/clozaril/clopine I take makes me fall asleep about 30-60 minutes later. I occasionally take a temazepam if I don't feel tired enough. I usually sleep about 11 hours but wake up at night to go to the toilet. I told my case worker that lately I feel like I'm dreaming quite a lot - she said I should get a G.P. to organise an ECG and that I might have epilepsy. When I feel like I'm dreaming I am lacking negative emotions.

 

[excreationist]

"The Adjustment Bureau" is another example of an intelligent force... it involves using seemingly random events to achieve purposes - there is a grand plan for things (sometimes). I see a simulation as being the technique for the portal doors and the magical books that show what is going on. I don't think those portals really exist - my point was about the movie being yet another form of an intelligent force.

Earlier in the movie they told the guy that if he told others about them they will "reset" (lobotomise) him. That's a bit like what happened to me - I used to program for 30 hours a week - now I'm not even capable of the complexity involved with 8 hours a week because I had 6 ECT treatments.

BTW lately I've been going to an Anglican Bible study. One of the guys is a Jedi fan and so is growing the back of his hair long ("rat's tail"). The "priest" is one of the most liberal Christians I've come across. She thinks that Heaven and Hell might involve our present situations rather than being something that happens after our death. She has a few Celtic tattoos.

 

[Koyaanisqatsi]

There needn't be such an overly complicated explanation. What we do know is that the universe is a tremendously large energy state that consists of vibrational energy (whether in a fundamental, "string" vibration form or simply wavelengths). Energy states "seek" equilibrium or lowest disturbance; what we would call "harmony" or "balance." You can see it by simply throwing a rock in a smooth pond. The disturbance sends out the wavelengths that disrupts the smooth pond for a bit until it all finally calms back down and reaches its resting steadystate.

If that is our fundamental nature (vibrational energy states), why wouldn't that translate into stories we tell ourselves about "good" and "evil" balancing each other and there being a grand agency--that, surprise surprise, just happens to look just like us--to that "seeking" misnomer?

When we meditate--when we are calm and centered and at the most peace we can attain beside sleep or death--our problems seemingly magically disappear. When we exercise and generate energy in a controlled, sustained manner (like with jogging, or swimming, or riding a bike)--positive energy waves that get us into a "zone" and clear out discordant energies and toxins in our bodies--we likewise feel our best after we come to rest and return to an even deeper steadystate than before we excersised.

Well, gee, so when we are in harmony, we hear beautiful music and when we are discordant (out of harmony) we hear cacophony? What a shock that a change in vibrational energy in a vibrational energy system that always seeks equilibrium would result in adverse reactions.

 

[Sarpedon]

I just saw "Duel to the Death," and so now I believe that Ninjas manipulate everything.

 

[skepticalbip]

I just saw "Duel to the Death,"

Willingly or were you forced to watch it while being held hostage by some Chinese warlord?

 

[Sarpedon]

You, sir, are a philistine.

 

[excreationist]

This year's Maundy Thursday service on April 18 was also significant -


The first song was "A New Commandment"! (Maundy Thursday's special song - which wasn't played in 2018) For the last verse or so there was a technical problem - the words weren't displayed on the screen and then the congregation, including me, sung the rest of the words because we knew them. Then they put up the words for the song and we all sang the whole song a second time!


I think the words we sung were the original words ("shall all men know") but the video file the pastor gave me was non-sexist:
"by this shall all know"


Then I also found: "by this shall others know"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTOqk5GxV-c


Those two main songs from last year also had different versions for the service and when I looked on Youtube related to sexism vs inclusive language.


Lately I've been having theological discussions with a female Anglican priest. Sometimes when reading the Bible for Bible study she uses inclusive language instead of reading the original sexist words.


I had thought the very common theme of the songs having two or more versions (three versions for "A New Commandment") has become meaningful in light of the priest's views.


Before that I just thought the different versions were interesting but just a meaningless coincidence.


Also in the service they played this video of John 13:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EBEm7aOXU4


An odd related thing I noticed in that video was at 7:40 a woman has a moment with Jesus but they say nothing which explains why the Bible doesn't seem to mention it.


This is on one of the Maundy Thursday slides:

All are welcome to commune:

Who are baptized members of the Christian Church;
Who believe that Jesus Christ is their personal Lord and Saviour;
Who believe that the body and blood of Christ are truly present as they eat the bread and drink the wine;
Who believe that they receive forgiveness of sins, life and salvation in this meal.

At some point in the future that might apply to me - but if it had said that I believed Jesus physically rose from the dead then that might not ever be the case.


Then at the end of the service there was a stripping of the table and "silent prayer". Sometimes people end up talking at the end - I can't remember what happened this year.

 

[Gun Nut]

I just thought the different versions were interesting but just a meaningless coincidence.

I have a question for you... How do you choose what is a meaningless coincidence and what is a meaningful coincidence... and for that matter, how do you guess what is a coincidence and what is caused?

 

[Sarpedon]

Just stab it: it's probably a Ninja.

 

[Atheos]

I just thought the different versions were interesting but just a meaningless coincidence.

I have a question for you... How do you choose what is a meaningless coincidence and what is a meaningful coincidence... and for that matter, how do you guess what is a coincidence and what is caused?

The entirety of the Scientific Method is an attempt at solving this very difficult riddle. We humans share the trait of seeing faces in clouds or foliage, hearing danger in the rustling leaves and fearing an unseen boogeyman throwing lightning bolts. Employment of the scientific method isn't always foolproof but it has proven to be self-correcting over time.

 

[excreationist]

I looked up the female priest on Facebook and there was yet another synchronicity - on September 16 she changed her cover image for 6 days... it was virtually the same as my avatar on YouTube/Google... except that my image is shaded but the eyes and mouth are virtually identical.... note that she wasn't aware what my avatar looked like.