I can speak only for my own experience, but the men (and women) in my family were never counselled about anything sexual. Sex was what happened on your wedding night between a good Catholic girl and a good Catholic boy.
My daughter was nearly white with rage when I talked to her about all the ways she needed to be careful--not just at parties. And legitimately so. My intent was not to imply that she would carry any blame if she were attacked. My intent was to do a better job than my own mother did. My mother told me that if a boy touched me, I should come to her and not to my father because my father would kill him. I delayed dating until long after most of my friends dated and then only under very controlled circumstances--group situations, guys I knew well and trusted. BTW, the two guys who attacked me did not attack me in a date situation nor in a party situation.
It's
unfair that women need to take more precautions against rape than men, but it's a
brute fact that they're more likely to be victims. So I've never understood why there seems to be so much protest about informing women of ways to reduce their likelihood of victimhood.
As a child, I was taught that when crossing the road, even at a pedestrian crossing, be alert and continue to look in both directions as you cross. I never interpreted this as 'you deserve to be hit by a car if you don't.'
