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Things that make you laugh...

I went to a suburban Maryland high school in the mid-70's. The school district in Montgomery County had a sex ed class for high schoolers. The class was one semester, taught by the science teachers, and you had to get your parents to sign a form in order to take the class. I would say that the County was progressive because at least it had the class, though the curriculum might be considered tame. My teacher was Mr. Levine, a short slightly dumpy guy who liked to jump up and sit on one of the rather high chemistry lab benches when he spoke to us. The first day we self selected our seats, and perhaps understandably for the 1970s, all the guys were on one side and all the girls on the other. The second day of class he made us switch seats - one boy and one girl per lab bench. He made us keep that rotation up until everyone of us guys had a chance to sit next to each of the girls. I think the Mr Levine thought of himself as a little match maker, or that he was creating "homework" for us in the subject. We were shown the usual (very tame) films, the projection screen was perpetually down in his class.

Of course he was obliged to follow the curriculum, and on the first day he dutifully listed the off limits subjects (abortion, the religious views on sex, etc) but with a mischievous look on his face on the last day of class he mentioned that he was allowed to "answer any questions we asked" . . . at which time he raised the projection screen and hopped up on the front lab bench knocking his short legs with glee. We could see about 10 neatly written questions. Mr Levine said "In the first row, Jamie, ask the first question" . . .
 
Keith&Co. said:
I don't think we're going back to the office until April. The company has bought cameras, mics for everyone, office chairs are available, all the monitors you can eat,... set for the long haul.

I've received my camera. Set it up on a flexible tripod, rather than on my monitor for a little more flexibility.
First day i attended the morning meeting with the camera aimed at my dragon puppet.
Second day, my skunk puppet.
Still to come, puppets of a harp seal, a tree frog, wabbit, pooh, tigger...
Anything but my face.
My team voted me most likely to get a company instruction written for attending video meetings....
Click to expand...
My boss has been at a Skype meeting where 'the part of Keith was played by Drake, the Dragon.' And another where it was Artemis, skunk, but my kid left a triceretops on the arm of the couch by my desk. Boss misidentified both.
He called Drake a 'dinosaur.' He was corrected by three coworkers before i could come off mute.

Now, if my boss says something like "Keith needs more dinosaurs," we all jump his shit. "It's a DRAGON, Bob!"
Or, if he mentions, "Keith self identifies as a dragon," we all shout, "It's a DINOSAUR! Remember? You confused it for a unicorn? Damn surface officers..."
 
Keith&Co. said:
Keith&Co. said:
I don't think we're going back to the office until April. The company has bought cameras, mics for everyone, office chairs are available, all the monitors you can eat,... set for the long haul.

I've received my camera. Set it up on a flexible tripod, rather than on my monitor for a little more flexibility.
First day i attended the morning meeting with the camera aimed at my dragon puppet.
Second day, my skunk puppet.
Still to come, puppets of a harp seal, a tree frog, wabbit, pooh, tigger...
Anything but my face.
My team voted me most likely to get a company instruction written for attending video meetings....
Click to expand...
My boss has been at a Skype meeting where 'the part of Keith was played by Drake, the Dragon.' And another where it was Artemis, skunk, but my kid left a triceretops on the arm of the couch by my desk. Boss misidentified both.
He called Drake a 'dinosaur.' He was corrected by three coworkers before i could come off mute.

Now, if my boss says something like "Keith needs more dinosaurs," we all jump his shit. "It's a DRAGON, Bob!"
Or, if he mentions, "Keith self identifies as a dragon," we all shout, "It's a DINOSAUR! Remember? You confused it for a unicorn? Damn surface officers..."
Click to expand...

Lol.

What's a 'company instruction'?

Kieth, as much as I admire your sense of humour (and I do, greatly)........what sort of work do you do or what sort of company do you work for that you can......get away with doing that? Lol. :)
 
ruby sparks said:
Keith&Co. said:
Keith&Co. said:
I don't think we're going back to the office until April. The company has bought cameras, mics for everyone, office chairs are available, all the monitors you can eat,... set for the long haul.

I've received my camera. Set it up on a flexible tripod, rather than on my monitor for a little more flexibility.
First day i attended the morning meeting with the camera aimed at my dragon puppet.
Second day, my skunk puppet.
Still to come, puppets of a harp seal, a tree frog, wabbit, pooh, tigger...
Anything but my face.
My team voted me most likely to get a company instruction written for attending video meetings....
Click to expand...
My boss has been at a Skype meeting where 'the part of Keith was played by Drake, the Dragon.' And another where it was Artemis, skunk, but my kid left a triceretops on the arm of the couch by my desk. Boss misidentified both.
He called Drake a 'dinosaur.' He was corrected by three coworkers before i could come off mute.

Now, if my boss says something like "Keith needs more dinosaurs," we all jump his shit. "It's a DRAGON, Bob!"
Or, if he mentions, "Keith self identifies as a dragon," we all shout, "It's a DINOSAUR! Remember? You confused it for a unicorn? Damn surface officers..."
Click to expand...

Lol.

What's a 'company instruction'?

Kieth, as much as I admire your sense of humour (and I do, greatly)........what sort of work do you do or what sort of company do you work for that you can......get away with doing that? Lol. :)
Click to expand...

Better question - why are you working for a company at all? You should be writing humor books. With pictures. Lots of pictures.
 
ruby sparks said:
Lol.

What's a 'company instruction'?
Click to expand...
a formal dissemination of the company's policy about or procedures for accomplishing certain tasks. Safety, security, dress code, communications, whatever. In this case, it might list the requirements and exceptions for having a camera (all employees, or all work-from-home employees, or all managers must/everyone else should); camera use (cameras shall be optional for all meetings at the direction of the senior attendee; cameras shall be mandatory except for people on business travel (or, after Howard's trip that ended up with him and the prpstitute on CNN, ALL travelers MUST have the camera for all communications with corporate! Thanks, Howard.)); and guidance on where to aim it, such as not where other people come out of the shower, or where coworkers have to watch your husband butcher a hog in the background (Thanks, Mary).

Kieth, as much as I admire your sense of humour (and I do, greatly)........what sort of work do you do or what sort of company do you work for that you can......get away with doing that? Lol. :)
Click to expand...
Well, i work for General Dynamics, Mission Systems. We're a government contractor, building fire control and launcher systems for submarines to launch Trident II nuclear missiles, and much less spectacular Tomahawk missiles.

My unit is the one that translates the engineers' explanations of weapon system upgrades to English, and train the Navy instructors to teach the other missile technicians how to operate the new equipment.

We're, like, 88% military vets in my unit. The whole company is about 40% ex-military. So there's a nice "if it works, don't fuck with it" attitude, for the most part. So, if we meet all our milestones and have time for some grab-ass, it's tolerated. If we were behind, and did not police ourselves, then they'd be less tolerant.
 
Elixir said:
ruby sparks said:
Lol.

What's a 'company instruction'?

Kieth, as much as I admire your sense of humour (and I do, greatly)........what sort of work do you do or what sort of company do you work for that you can......get away with doing that? Lol. :)
Click to expand...

Better question - why are you working for a company at all? You should be writing humor books. With pictures. Lots of pictures.
Click to expand...
Oh, i have THE best job in the world.
I teach sailors how their stuff works, i teach engineers how sailors and subs work, i teach other contractors how they can support our stuff, and after 20 years of riding subs, i have spent another twenty basically paid to tell sea stories.
 
Angry Floof said:
View attachment 29859
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The year is 2019. Priests believe in magic. He's not really married unless he, uh, consummates? (or consumes?) Apparently sentient consent is not needed when a priest marries.
But, then again, such nonsense occurs outside of India -- some in Indiana. And Texas governors who pray for rain. And claims credit when a big storm hit nearby (his god has bad aim).
 
This is the current headline
Fake naked photos of thousands of women shared online
https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-54584127
The prior version said:
Fake fanny photos of thousands of women shared online
Seems there is an AI which will strip the clothing leaving realistic, although invented, usually-concealed parts.
 
From the novel Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Susanna Clark.

Setup: Jonathan Strange is a British magician who has traveled to Portugal to offer his services to Lord Wellington in the struggle against Napoleon. He finally arrives at Army Headquarters only to find that Lord Wellington has left.

...No one knew when [Wellington] would return -- probably not until dinner. No one had any objection to Strange's waiting -- provided he did not get in their way.

But from the first moment of his entering the house Strange found himself subject to that peculiarly uncomfortable Natural Law which states that whenever a person arrives at a place where he is not known, then wherever he stands he is sure to be in the way.
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TV and credit cards said:
ZiprHead said:
Girl, 8, pulls a 1,500-year-old sword from a lake in Sweden

Let the Monty Python quotes begin.
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Really kid, braided pigtails? Way to play to the stereotype. They made you wash the purple dye out of your hair and pull all the facial piercing, didn’t they?
Reminds me of Ted Lasso drinking tea: “You only do this for the tourists, right? You don’t seriously drink this stuff when no one’s looking?”
Click to expand...

She's a Greta Thunberg knockoff.
 
Turning back the clocks and adding an hour on to 2020 is like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album.
 
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