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Things that make you laugh...

Reminds me of when I used to do video chats with a few friends pretty regularly for a while. It was four or five of us with at least three showing up each time. It was uber casual with all of us in our pajamas and casual clothes, etc.

One time one guy was in his bathrobe, which was not unusual, but this time he was on his couch with the laptop on the coffee table in front of him and he kept giving us nut shots. Every time we'd all react with OMG HEY STOP SHOWING US YOUR BALLS and he was so unfazed by it, like "Oh, sorry," and then just moving on. I think we saw his balls like six times that day.
 
Angry Floof said:
Reminds me of when I used to do video chats with a few friends pretty regularly for a while. It was four or five of us with at least three showing up each time. It was uber casual with all of us in our pajamas and casual clothes, etc.

One time one guy was in his bathrobe, which was not unusual, but this time he was on his couch with the laptop on the coffee table in front of him and he kept giving us nut shots. Every time we'd all react with OMG HEY STOP SHOWING US YOUR BALLS and he was so unfazed by it, like "Oh, sorry," and then just moving on. I think we saw his balls like six times that day.
Click to expand...

You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone about that! :mad:
 
WAB said:
Angry Floof said:
Reminds me of when I used to do video chats with a few friends pretty regularly for a while. It was four or five of us with at least three showing up each time. It was uber casual with all of us in our pajamas and casual clothes, etc.

One time one guy was in his bathrobe, which was not unusual, but this time he was on his couch with the laptop on the coffee table in front of him and he kept giving us nut shots. Every time we'd all react with OMG HEY STOP SHOWING US YOUR BALLS and he was so unfazed by it, like "Oh, sorry," and then just moving on. I think we saw his balls like six times that day.
Click to expand...

You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone about that! :mad:
Click to expand...

:rofl:
 
WAB said:
Angry Floof said:
Reminds me of when I used to do video chats with a few friends pretty regularly for a while. It was four or five of us with at least three showing up each time. It was uber casual with all of us in our pajamas and casual clothes, etc.

One time one guy was in his bathrobe, which was not unusual, but this time he was on his couch with the laptop on the coffee table in front of him and he kept giving us nut shots. Every time we'd all react with OMG HEY STOP SHOWING US YOUR BALLS and he was so unfazed by it, like "Oh, sorry," and then just moving on. I think we saw his balls like six times that day.
Click to expand...

You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone about that! :mad:
Click to expand...

All bets are off once Floof gets Angry. And her secret is the same as Bruce Banner's!
 
The AI transcribed "secure email gateway" as "screamo gateway" 17 times in one audio file. :D
 
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
 
ZiprHead said:
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
Click to expand...

I'm skeptical. I think that, in some cases, someone has tried to "improve" on the original, adding a final line that wasn't in the record.
 
Wiploc said:
ZiprHead said:
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
Click to expand...

I'm skeptical. I think that, in some cases, someone has tried to "improve" on the original, adding a final line that wasn't in the record.
Click to expand...
Robert Benchley, a humor columnist, and the grandfather of the author of Jaws, used to fantasize about giving really witty retorts in cross-examination in court. But even in his fantasies, he found that the lawyer has to ask exactly the right questions, or you just end up sounding petulant.
 
[YOUTUBE]https://youtu.be/MxktbvxsuUI[/YOUTUBE]
 
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