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Things that make you laugh...

Keith&Co. said:
I'm getting laser surgery on my eye, again. Not to improve my vision, but to burn away problematic blood vessels at the back.
Which reminds me of my first time.
I only had vision in one eye, the retina had become detached in the other one. Surgery was scheduled, but i was bleeding and doc wanted to fix that.
Forty-eleven times, they said bring someone to drive you home. I was terrified that the laser treatment would be like a permanent after-image.
I drove there myself, the wife left work and met me at the clinic. We would come back the next day for my car.

There were 441 zaps into my left eye.
I got up and was amazed at how well i could see. A nurse offered to lead me out to the waiting room, but i was fine. I could see the walls, i could see the people, i could tell the difference between doors and walls and the mural. I was fine.
I went out into the waiting room, up to my wife's chair, and said i thought i was good to drive home.
She held up her hand and asked, "How many fingers am i holding up?"
I turned away from the frightened woman in the seat i'd left my wife in and said, "Oh! You're over THERE! .................Well, as long as you came down here, maybe you should drive."
Click to expand...

I had IOL (intra-ocular lens) implants in 2019. One eye at a time, a month apart. The surgical center was 2½ hours from home and they told me they wouldn't release me unless someone was there to drive me home. Good thing, that... I had never had fentanyl before, so was one-eyed and loopy after the first surgery. About an hour into the ride home I pulled off the bandage covering the eye they had "fixed".
OMFG, I couldn't believe it. Didn't realize how blind I had been for... some years. Couldn't wait to get the other eye done.
Again, had to bring someone. And again, really messed up after the operation. About halfway home I got extremely nauseous, vomited, then dry heaves...
That eye never did heal up properly because of the pressures that occurred on that ride - it still has halos if light sources are off to the side.
Nonetheless, it's still 50x better than it was before surgery. Colors, definition - it's absolutely amazing. Need glasses for very close up or extended reading, but distance vision is as good as it ever way and the clarity is outstanding.
HIGHLY recommend - best medical outcome ever. Fentanyl - SUCKS!
 
Elixir said:
Keith&Co. said:
I'm getting laser surgery on my eye, again. Not to improve my vision, but to burn away problematic blood vessels at the back.
Which reminds me of my first time.
I only had vision in one eye, the retina had become detached in the other one. Surgery was scheduled, but i was bleeding and doc wanted to fix that.
Forty-eleven times, they said bring someone to drive you home. I was terrified that the laser treatment would be like a permanent after-image.
I drove there myself, the wife left work and met me at the clinic. We would come back the next day for my car.

There were 441 zaps into my left eye.
I got up and was amazed at how well i could see. A nurse offered to lead me out to the waiting room, but i was fine. I could see the walls, i could see the people, i could tell the difference between doors and walls and the mural. I was fine.
I went out into the waiting room, up to my wife's chair, and said i thought i was good to drive home.
She held up her hand and asked, "How many fingers am i holding up?"
I turned away from the frightened woman in the seat i'd left my wife in and said, "Oh! You're over THERE! .................Well, as long as you came down here, maybe you should drive."
Click to expand...

I had IOL (intra-ocular lens) implants in 2019. One eye at a time, a month apart. The surgical center was 2½ hours from home and they told me they wouldn't release me unless someone was there to drive me home. Good thing, that... I had never had fentanyl before, so was one-eyed and loopy after the first surgery. About an hour into the ride home I pulled off the bandage covering the eye they had "fixed".
OMFG, I couldn't believe it. Didn't realize how blind I had been for... some years. Couldn't wait to get the other eye done.
Again, had to bring someone. And again, really messed up after the operation. About halfway home I got extremely nauseous, vomited, then dry heaves...
That eye never did heal up properly because of the pressures that occurred on that ride - it still has halos if light sources are off to the side.
Nonetheless, it's still 50x better than it was before surgery. Colors, definition - it's absolutely amazing. Need glasses for very close up or extended reading, but distance vision is as good as it ever way and the clarity is outstanding.
HIGHLY recommend - best medical outcome ever. Fentanyl - SUCKS!
Click to expand...

I had lense replacement surgery for cataracts many years ago. But I couldn't afford the toric lenses (a little over a thousand each) for astigmatism so I still have to wear glasses. Sucks to be me.

I don't remember getting fentanyl but I do remember the pretty lights that looked like a Pink Floyd concert during the surgery.
 
ZiprHead said:
I couldn't afford the toric lenses (a little over a thousand each) for astigmatism so I still have to wear glasses. Sucks to be me.
Click to expand...

Yeah, well it sucks to be old. And that's the only reason I could afford it ($10k, and $0 after medicare).

I don't remember getting fentanyl ...
Click to expand...

Yes, that's the stuff. :)
 
Elixir said:
ZiprHead said:
I couldn't afford the toric lenses (a little over a thousand each) for astigmatism so I still have to wear glasses. Sucks to be me.
Click to expand...

Yeah, well it sucks to be old. And that's the only reason I could afford it ($10k, and $0 after medicare).

I don't remember getting fentanyl ...
Click to expand...

Yes, that's the stuff. :)
Click to expand...

I wasn't on medicare at the time but I am now. Maybe I should check to see if I can get an upgrade
 
Got caught looking at a photo of a topless woman. Wife asked if that was my 'type,' conversation drifted from there.

Finally, i said, "Look, there are LOTS of breasts in the world i want to look at. But only two i really want to touch." Deep breath. "And for the last thirty years, yours have condistently been in the top ten."

But the jokes still on her, internet connection is better on the couch, anyway.
 
Saw an article from an American media outlet about responses worldwide to Biden defeating Trump.

"... there were fireworks in London, England ..."

Mate, it was November 5th. Don't journalists have access to Google where you work?
 
bilby said:
Saw an article from an American media outlet about responses worldwide to Biden defeating Trump.

"... there were fireworks in London, England ..."

Mate, it was November 5th. Don't journalists have access to Google where you work?
Click to expand...
It's not July 4th, New Year's, or Pioneer's Day, they won't suspect another reason could possibly exist.

MAYBE Cinco de Mayo, if they've eaten at a Chili's recently.
 
Someone on FB posted that they ordered toilet paper from China back in March because of the shortages, but it didn't arrive until June and the rolls were teeny tiny. :rofl:
 
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dpLusucxog[/YOUTUBE]
 
An online meeting to review some documents.
Thing is, all the schools in town have gone back to completely virtual due to 104 new cases in the county. So the internet is a touch slow.

And the guy addressing a comment is not the guy displaying the document. His guidance is "Scroll down...farther...farther...slow...STOP!"

But the 'net lags so the page WE see is not the page on the host's screen. Makes the direction kind of a random element. So, "STOP! Oh, you went too far! Back up. No, up. Up. Up. Slow down... No, stop, stop, stop! Too far! Down half a page. No, half a page from where i szid stop!"

No one wants to navigate by page numbers and step numbers, rsthrr than this shit.
"No, we got it, Harold's just going too fast."
"I am not! You're saying 'stop' on two completely different pages!"
"AM NOT!"

I'm getting paid by the hour to not accomplish much of shit, here. $huck$.
 
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