Things that make you laugh...

[Keith&Co.]

The AI transcribed "two sons" as "juice dunce." The AI must be familiar with the Trumps.

I saw an AI transcripting a description of ballistic missile guidance operations.
The narrator said the difference between the missile's current physical location and the calculated flight path is "error." The transcript says "the distance between the missile's current position and the commanded position is called 'air.'"

Which, you know, is not entirely wrong.

For part of flight, anyway.

There is air between ARE NOW and WANNA BE. But after 2nd stage, when we exit atmo, there's no air in the err'r.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

The AI transcribed "two sons" as "juice dunce." The AI must be familiar with the Trumps.

I saw an AI transcripting a description of ballistic missile guidance operations.
The narrator said the difference between the missile's current physical location and the calculated flight path is "error." The transcript says "the distance between the missile's current position and the commanded position is called 'air.'"

Which, you know, is not entirely wrong.

For part of flight, anyway.

There is air between ARE NOW and WANNA BE. But after 2nd stage, when we exit atmo, there's no air in the err'r.

AI or just voice recognition?

And there is air, just very, very thin air.

 

[Keith&Co.]

The AI transcribed "two sons" as "juice dunce." The AI must be familiar with the Trumps.

I saw an AI transcripting a description of ballistic missile guidance operations.
The narrator said the difference between the missile's current physical location and the calculated flight path is "error." The transcript says "the distance between the missile's current position and the commanded position is called 'air.'"

Which, you know, is not entirely wrong.

For part of flight, anyway.

There is air between ARE NOW and WANNA BE. But after 2nd stage, when we exit atmo, there's no air in the err'r.

AI or just voice recognition?

that i don't know, just copying floofies

And there is air, just very, very thin air.

Well, that's when we jettison the aerodynamic components (nose fairing, aerodynamic spike, wind sock), because the amount of air is zero, near as dammit, or rounding off, zero.

 

[Learner]

Crap I forgot the eggs! Can't have quiche without eggs! And pie shells!

Addendum to above recipe: Two dozen eggs, and oh, I don't know, 3 pie-shells. Semi-bake pie shells and cool before adding mixture. And not Floyd. Make it Zeppelin, Houses of the Holy. Didn't you have to work today!?? Let's not cook. Hell, I'm going out. Yeah, yeah. [under breath:] Asshole...

Sheesh hours later, now you tell us!

 

[James Brown]

Link

A woman stabbed her husband several times after thinking she found photos of him with a younger woman.

It turns out that she herself was that “other” woman. The photo of the couple was taken years ago, when they were dating,

Yeah, but it's still his fault.

 

[Keith&Co.]

Coworker is a new Dad. He is amazed at all the stuff that one baby can produce, at any end. At the morning meeting, got onto a conversation about snot. Baby Jack is apparently a prodigious snotter.
Joe said, "If you think THAT'S impressive..." and emailed a photo to everyone.

Which led to a discussion of who in the group has the most disgusting email attachments, a list of candidates for most offensive forwarder, least desirable attachments, sort of thing.

After a few rounds of 'Joe's greatest hits' or 'Bill's top five offenses' i quietly reminded everyone, "That time my ophthalmologist was going to put a pressure relief valve in my eye and i sent a diagram around?" My manager still hasn't forgiven me for that.

I reign supreme.

 

[jonatha]

Coworker is a new Dad. He is amazed at all the stuff that one baby can produce, at any end. At the morning meeting, got onto a conversation about snot. Baby Jack is apparently a prodigious snotter.
Joe said, "If you think THAT'S impressive..." and emailed a photo to everyone.

Which led to a discussion of who in the group has the most disgusting email attachments, a list of candidates for most offensive forwarder, least desirable attachments, sort of thing.

After a few rounds of 'Joe's greatest hits' or 'Bill's top five offenses' i quietly reminded everyone, "That time my ophthalmologist was going to put a pressure relief valve in my eye and i sent a diagram around?" My manager still hasn't forgiven me for that.

I reign supreme.

I marvel that your coworkers could possibly have thought otherwise...

 

[ideologyhunter]

Coworker is a new Dad. He is amazed at all the stuff that one baby can produce, at any end. At the morning meeting, got onto a conversation about snot. Baby Jack is apparently a prodigious snotter.
Joe said, "If you think THAT'S impressive..." and emailed a photo to everyone.

Which led to a discussion of who in the group has the most disgusting email attachments, a list of candidates for most offensive forwarder, least desirable attachments, sort of thing.

After a few rounds of 'Joe's greatest hits' or 'Bill's top five offenses' i quietly reminded everyone, "That time my ophthalmologist was going to put a pressure relief valve in my eye and i sent a diagram around?" My manager still hasn't forgiven me for that.

I reign supreme.

The baby stuff I suppose is endurable. I had a co-worker years & years ago who insisted on telling everyone in the lounge about his wife's medical deets -- including gynecological visits. All in the guise of, 'We're all adults here, right?' Strangely, no one told him to shut up, even though we talked about him when he left the room. I remember thinking at the time, 'Please, please, don't let his wife get hemorrhoids.' The lounge was also our lunchroom.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I reign supreme.

I marvel that your coworkers could possibly have thought otherwise...

I don't have a cell phone, so their immediate thoughts went to the pics they've been sharing in group chats. But, yeah, there were a few "OMG, how could we have forgotten...?"

 

[Loren Pechtel]

AI or just voice recognition?

that i don't know, just copying floofies

And there is air, just very, very thin air.

Well, that's when we jettison the aerodynamic components (nose fairing, aerodynamic spike, wind sock), because the amount of air is zero, near as dammit, or rounding off, zero.

As I said, very, very thin air. If there were no air they wouldn't need to periodically boost the ISS.

 

[Keith&Co.]

that i don't know, just copying floofies
Well, that's when we jettison the aerodynamic components (nose fairing, aerodynamic spike, wind sock), because the amount of air is zero, near as dammit, or rounding off, zero.

As I said, very, very thin air. If there were no air they wouldn't need to periodically boost the ISS.

For our purposes, 'air' is still an error. We're not going to be up there long enough to need a boost. Not after the boost phase. Then we're into deployment after that is the reentry phase. No boost two.

 

[Keith&Co.]

a pressure relief valve in my eye

Glaucoma, since someone asked, raises pressure in your eye. If one does not respond to antipressure meds, this can lead to optic nerve damage.
My unit and I teach the operation of nuclear missiles, so when i (or Doctor Danyluk) say 'relief valve' we all imagine spring-loaded steel and brass cylinders to keep 4000 psi-air from crushing a terribly expensive missile. Horrid image to combind with one's eyebal

In reality, thry poke a tiny little tube into the from of the eye, so excess vitreous humor drains out to a holdind envelope on the side of the eye, releasing as tears.
Sent a pic around, one guy opened it, warned everyone it was too horrid don't look!
Do, of course, three more lept to their emails... Boss did not. Biss still nearly puked...still mad at me.

Show

 

[Wiploc]

All that build up just to learn you're a cyborg.

 

[bilby]

All that build up just to learn you're a cyborg.

I would just like to make it completely clear that I am not now, nor have I ever been, Sarah Connor.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I was just reminded of Dithering Dan.

Dan was an FTB on the Franklin. We ran computers in MCC, a space the size of a Jiffy Lube bay, filled with computer systems. The systems were cooled by two fans about the size of a 50 gallon drum.
Whenever there was ANY casualty, Dan raced to the spot in MCC where were controlled the fans. And dithered. He tried to decide if he should turn the fans off or not. Any time. Fire in Engineering. Flooding in Torpedo Room. Man overboard. If they called it away, he ran to the fan controller console and did a little dance. If you saw John Belushi dancing on the back of the Japanese sub in 1941, looked a lot like that.

He left our ship, was on the Kamehameha. They suffered a casualty where they opened the bridge hatch and a giant wave slammed the sub down under the ocean. huge column of water came down the bridge hatch. Straight down the ladder ways to the bottom of the boat where MCC was. Dan had no idea there was a casualty going on, he got up to get a coffee. Opened the MCC door and sees this giant wave of seawater coming from the direction of the ladder up to the galley, crossing the lounge, headed for MCC.
FINALLY, Dan knows what to do. He needed to turn off the fans before they started trying to pump sea-water up into the computer systems! So he slams the door shut, braces against it, and turns to where the MCC watch was standing, right next to the fan controllers.
And loses the power of speech.
He gesticulates wildly and says, "Hamina! Hem! Hum! Himmina Hamina hey home hum!"

The watch understood the urgency. Could not decrypt the instructions. "Dan! WHAT!?!"

By which time they started getting red lights all over the control console as water starts shorting out the computers.

It's like God gave him ONE TASK on Earth, but did not warn him when it would be applicable.

 

[Keith&Co.]

All that build up just to learn you're a cyborg.

I would probably make the Steve Austin 'Nanananana!' sound every time i cried.

 

[ZiprHead]

 

[ZiprHead]

 

[Keith&Co.]

One of Tiger's posts reminded me.

When my oldest was born, there were three new fathers in my office at Guided Missiles School. We all decided we were going to quit swearing. Came up with a list of words each of us wanted to stop using.
If someone caught you using them, it was a quarter in the swear jar. Purely voluntary.

Told the Chief we were doing this. He pulled out a $20, put that in the jar, "Tell me when that's fucking used up."



At the end of the first quarter, we thought we'd buy a round of drinks from the cafeteria with our accumulated funds. We took our office and all our students out to dinner and paid the bar tab with swear money. The next quarter we couldn't afford sodas for all the instructors. We'd stopped swearing almost completely.

It worked, not because it cost us money, but because you became VERY aware that everyone was watching every single word you said.

So, anyway, we noticed that we couldn't get anything done. Not in the Navy.
If you tell someone that you need a tool or support, and it's only 'Important,' but not 'FUCKING important,' you get prioritized down at the bottom of the list.
It's an expected intensity modifier that is used to judge importance.


So we all ended up having to consciously adopt our old patterns of fucking swearing at the goddamned bullshit cunts who owed us sockfucking tools, ass-wipe lab shifts, tit-ripping documentation, ball-sucking watchstanders or turd-blossoming watchbill trades.
A difficult learning curve, but we fucking persevered.

 

[thebeave]

View attachment 31707

Sadly, there are people with degrees in those fields who believe in all kinds of stupid nonsense (particularly religious miracles and so forth) related to their field of study.