ruby sparks
Contributor
The balanced conclusion here is surely that yes, women should not be expected to smile on request and in many cases it can amount to gender stereotyping, sexism in some cases and who knows actual misogyny in others, and in many cases it will be annoying, and the cumulative effect can reach the level of harassment.
On the other hand, suggesting that saying, 'hey smile' to a stranger or acquaintance is either (a) always a bad thing, or alternatively (b) always intended in a bad way, as some here have done, is obviously and demonstrably going too far. In fact, the same thing could be said about general cases of commenting on a stranger's physical attractiveness, and even at a pinch wolf-whistling. In the case of the latter (and perhaps 'hey, smile') we could say that most women, something like 4 out of 5 in the UK in the case of wolf whistling I read, do not generally like it however. And even then, the remaining 1 out of 5 will not think it is always acceptable. Australian women seem, according to one study, to be the most accepting of it (wolf whistling deemed offensive by only 25% of them).
Some polls suggest that women comment on the physical attractiveness of a stranger more often than men (although it is not clear whether that includes commenting on other women) which suggests that there are 'appropriate' ways (and presumably contexts in which) to do it which are more often deemed acceptable. Also, of course, men are generally less likely to see the potential negatives of receiving such a comment from a woman, however expressed, for a variety of reasons (including the reduced risks of it being a potential precursor to anything unbenign or harmful) and for that reason I think men should be more careful before assuming that making a particular approach or remark to a woman is ok. I myself would never say hey smile or wolf whistle. I wouldn't say anything of that ilk to a female stranger walking in the street. I would even be careful about admiring glances because they can easily be seen as intrusive by many women, especially if they are anything more than brief.
As someone else suggested, if one does want to make contact, a friendly smile is best, imo, and even then one has to understand that this may not be particularly welcomed, especially by a woman going about her business walking on a street, since a lot of the time such women are not seeking contact with passers by.
On the other hand, suggesting that saying, 'hey smile' to a stranger or acquaintance is either (a) always a bad thing, or alternatively (b) always intended in a bad way, as some here have done, is obviously and demonstrably going too far. In fact, the same thing could be said about general cases of commenting on a stranger's physical attractiveness, and even at a pinch wolf-whistling. In the case of the latter (and perhaps 'hey, smile') we could say that most women, something like 4 out of 5 in the UK in the case of wolf whistling I read, do not generally like it however. And even then, the remaining 1 out of 5 will not think it is always acceptable. Australian women seem, according to one study, to be the most accepting of it (wolf whistling deemed offensive by only 25% of them).
Some polls suggest that women comment on the physical attractiveness of a stranger more often than men (although it is not clear whether that includes commenting on other women) which suggests that there are 'appropriate' ways (and presumably contexts in which) to do it which are more often deemed acceptable. Also, of course, men are generally less likely to see the potential negatives of receiving such a comment from a woman, however expressed, for a variety of reasons (including the reduced risks of it being a potential precursor to anything unbenign or harmful) and for that reason I think men should be more careful before assuming that making a particular approach or remark to a woman is ok. I myself would never say hey smile or wolf whistle. I wouldn't say anything of that ilk to a female stranger walking in the street. I would even be careful about admiring glances because they can easily be seen as intrusive by many women, especially if they are anything more than brief.
As someone else suggested, if one does want to make contact, a friendly smile is best, imo, and even then one has to understand that this may not be particularly welcomed, especially by a woman going about her business walking on a street, since a lot of the time such women are not seeking contact with passers by.
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