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Tigers! said:
SLD said:
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who was the better cyclist.
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Try it against a hippo. The hippo can swim faster than you, run faster than you.
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Sure, but have you ever seen one trying to ride a bike?
 
bilby said:
Tigers! said:
SLD said:
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who was the better cyclist.
Click to expand...
Try it against a hippo. The hippo can swim faster than you, run faster than you.
Click to expand...
Sure, but have you ever seen one trying to ride a bike?
Click to expand...
I’ve seen a group of them dance in tutus, but that may have been the LSD.

To clarify, it was Walt Disney who was on LSD, not me.
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A woman gets hit by a bus and ends up in the ER. While the doctors try to save her, she finds herself at heaven's gates, talking to an adorable angel holding a glowing golden book. She says, "Will you let me in?" The angel looks in the book and says, in a piping voice, "This is not your time, dear lady. You still have 38 years, 8 months, and 18 days to live below."
She wakes up in the ICU. She thinks, if I got 38 years, I am going to be one happening chick. She gets a facelift, a tummy tuck, breast implants, and an ass reduction. A week later she goes to her favorite hair salon, and they put foxy highlights in her hair.
She leaves the salon and gets hit by a bus. She ends up at the heavenly gates, which swing open for her. She spots the little angel, and runs over to him making a fist. "You!" she says, "you little bastard! I blew my checking account because you said I had another 38 years!!"
The angel says, "Right. And who the hell could recognize you?"
 
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bilby said:
Tigers! said:
SLD said:
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who was the better cyclist.
Click to expand...
Try it against a hippo. The hippo can swim faster than you, run faster than you.
Click to expand...
Sure, but have you ever seen one trying to ride a bike?
Click to expand...
On some of my bike rides I reckon I have seen hippos on a bike.
 
A local Fox affiliate sends Traci, their hotshot roving reporter, to interview a 100-year-old man on his birthday. She says, "So, Karl. Is there a secret to reaching age 100?"
Karl says, "Yes, there is, Traci, and I'm ready to tell it. At my age, why hold back? The secret is this: I blew a 100-year-old man, when I was about your age."

(Happy Birthday, Mel Brooks!)
 
ideologyhunter said:
A local Fox affiliate sends Traci, their hotshot roving reporter, to interview a 100-year-old man on his birthday. She says, "So, Karl. Is there a secret to reaching age 100?"
Karl says, "Yes, there is, Traci, and I'm ready to tell it. At my age, why hold back? The secret is this: I blew a 100-year-old man, when I was about your age."

(Happy Birthday, Mel Brooks!)
Click to expand...
I’m filing this in case I make it to 100.
 
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