- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
- Messages
- 50,501
- Location
- Frozen in Michigan
- Gender
- Old Fart
- Basic Beliefs
- Don't be a dick.
Since I had one as a baby I can report it doesn't work.
Joke gallery
- Thread starter laughing dog
- Start date
ideologyhunter
Contributor
Why are women usually unhappy with uncut boyfriends??
They are complete dicks.
They are complete dicks.
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
- Messages
- 50,501
- Location
- Frozen in Michigan
- Gender
- Old Fart
- Basic Beliefs
- Don't be a dick.
A rabbit was running happily through the forest, and comes across a giraffe rolling a joint. “Giraffe, why do you treat yourself so? It is a glorious day! Put down the drugs and come running with me! You’ll feel so much better.” The giraffe thinks for a moment, puts down the joint and goes running through the forest with the rabbit.
Soon the pair come upon an elephant cutting coke and getting ready for a snort. “Elephant, wait! Do not snort that! It is such a fantastically great day, come run through the forest with us! You will be so glad you did!” The elephant pauses, looks at the rabbit and giraffe, and puts down the coke. The three go running through the forest.
A few minutes later, the three of them come across a lion heating up heroin on a spoon, about to shoot up. "Lion, my friend, why do you do this?" the rabbit asks. "Think of your health! Come run with us through the beautiful forest!" The lion puts down his needle, walks over, and mauls the rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and ask, "Lion, why did you do that? He was just trying to help you!" The lion sighs and says, "That little bastard... Every time he takes ecstasy, he makes us run around the forest like ◊◊◊◊◊◊◊ idiots!”
Soon the pair come upon an elephant cutting coke and getting ready for a snort. “Elephant, wait! Do not snort that! It is such a fantastically great day, come run through the forest with us! You will be so glad you did!” The elephant pauses, looks at the rabbit and giraffe, and puts down the coke. The three go running through the forest.
A few minutes later, the three of them come across a lion heating up heroin on a spoon, about to shoot up. "Lion, my friend, why do you do this?" the rabbit asks. "Think of your health! Come run with us through the beautiful forest!" The lion puts down his needle, walks over, and mauls the rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and ask, "Lion, why did you do that? He was just trying to help you!" The lion sighs and says, "That little bastard... Every time he takes ecstasy, he makes us run around the forest like ◊◊◊◊◊◊◊ idiots!”
ideologyhunter
Contributor
A stoner finds a magic bottle on the beach. Out comes a genie who says, "What are your three wishes?"
The stoner says, "I just wanna smoke a joint with ya."
The genie snaps his fingers and two fat joints appear. They both smoke 'em down.
The genie says, "Time for wish number two."
The stoner says, "Let's smoke another joint." Snap! They smoke two more joints.
The genie says, "And for your third wish?"
The stoner says, "Let's smoke another joint."
The genie says, "But this is your very last wish."
The stoner says, "I know. Let's smoke another one."
The genie says, "Well, okay." He conjures up two more joints, they smoke 'em, and the genie vanishes into the bottle.
The stoner stands there for a long minute, looking at nothing in particular, thinking nothing in particular.
The genie comes out of the bottle and says, "Awwwright. What's your fourth wish?"
The stoner says, "I just wanna smoke a joint with ya."
The genie snaps his fingers and two fat joints appear. They both smoke 'em down.
The genie says, "Time for wish number two."
The stoner says, "Let's smoke another joint." Snap! They smoke two more joints.
The genie says, "And for your third wish?"
The stoner says, "Let's smoke another joint."
The genie says, "But this is your very last wish."
The stoner says, "I know. Let's smoke another one."
The genie says, "Well, okay." He conjures up two more joints, they smoke 'em, and the genie vanishes into the bottle.
The stoner stands there for a long minute, looking at nothing in particular, thinking nothing in particular.
The genie comes out of the bottle and says, "Awwwright. What's your fourth wish?"